DEEPENING THE PRESENT
[ Without slow, life is a rat race.]
Sit across from your partner. Breathe. Follow your breathing. Then follow their breathing.
By no arrangement, but slowly coming to this: one person will begin to speak. Speak slowly.
Have the idea of speaking one sentence as a time. Limit yourself to between three and five sentences.
Stop. Breathe. The listener make sure they take at least two complete breaths before they start.
Say one sentence of praise, thanks or delight about what the other person said. Include no evaluation in this ( “I’m so happy you aren’t as messed up as you were last week.” BE careful: no evaluation even if they said, ‘I’m finally feeling better.’ Only say, if it is true: “I’m delighted to hear about your happiness.”)
Then spend two to four sentences talking about some related topic, but the emphasis is staying in your own business and leaving them alone.
Do not talk in such a way to give them an example of what they could do.
If you stray from their topic, that’s fine. Just make it important to you.
And be present to your body and your voice and your words.
And be present to them.
And stop soon.
And they breathe at least two cycles before it’s their turn again.
[ Without slow, life is a rat race.]
Sit across from your partner. Breathe. Follow your breathing. Then follow their breathing.
By no arrangement, but slowly coming to this: one person will begin to speak. Speak slowly.
Have the idea of speaking one sentence as a time. Limit yourself to between three and five sentences.
Stop. Breathe. The listener make sure they take at least two complete breaths before they start.
Say one sentence of praise, thanks or delight about what the other person said. Include no evaluation in this ( “I’m so happy you aren’t as messed up as you were last week.” BE careful: no evaluation even if they said, ‘I’m finally feeling better.’ Only say, if it is true: “I’m delighted to hear about your happiness.”)
Then spend two to four sentences talking about some related topic, but the emphasis is staying in your own business and leaving them alone.
Do not talk in such a way to give them an example of what they could do.
If you stray from their topic, that’s fine. Just make it important to you.
And be present to your body and your voice and your words.
And be present to them.
And stop soon.
And they breathe at least two cycles before it’s their turn again.
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