Thursday, August 03, 2017

The Importance of Non-Reciprocal Sex

Week Four, Day Three: LUST
Enjoy this side of life: SEX EVERY DAY

And we aren’t talking, just the “usual” kind
Three flavors
At least one of the flavors every day

This is silly easy and so few people have this as part of their daily nourishment.
Just like being outside has to be part of your life.
Just like being present and in gratitude and in your body has to be part of your life.

Keep a gratitude journal. You remember the story: your brain can be in gratitude or fear.
Be in gratitude.

Outside: go outside about once every two hours, if not more often.
Nature is God in the form almost everyone can feel and resonate to.

Be present: as much as you can.
Why? Feel the sleeping/ robot quality of life when you aren’t present.
In your body: we have a body.
Sense it.

And sex:
A great chance to be in nature, as in the nature of our body as the miracle invented by evolution for living in an amazing way on this planet earth.
A wonderful excuse to experience the present as
Pleasure and
Connection with hints of

And what sorts of sex would be good for your life as a daily nourishment?
There is the “usual.”
That’s fine, great, glorious and this book will be leaving that to you and your partner to discover how to radically improve that.

What we do want is two alternatives to the “usual” sex.
Both are non-reciprocal.
Which means, one is ALL FOR HER.
And, guess what, one is ALL FOR HIM.

The All for Her one, we’ve already talked about one. FEMALE ORGASM AWARENESS MEDITATION.
Stroking her clitoris. Gently.
With great attention and connection.
For a set amount of time: 8, 10 or 13 minutes.
Without the goal of climax.
With the goal of heightened and deeply present CONNECTION.

This is good for people, for couples every day, or every other day.

And then the other half: Something ALL FOR HIM.
And this is the old fashioned, she sucks his penis.
Is not the same old same old.
She isn’t trying to win points.
She isn’t trying to “get him off.”
She is in the moment, and learning and not at all sure what the next moment is going to be.
She is enjoying each moment.
He is enjoying each moment.
Great value can come from slower and softer.
Greater than great value can come from exploration and discovery

No pressure.
Lotsa pleasure.

No goal of climax.
Slowing down and backing off when it “gets too hot.”
Letting mutual pleasure and connection in THE PRESENT MOMENT be the guide.
Let mutual PLEASURE & CONNECTION in the PRESENT moment be the guide.
Set a timer. Slightly less: 5, 8 or 10 minutes.
When it’s over, it’s over.
Get dressed and go for a walk.

You might be tempted to jump into “usual” sex.
Wait a month of so.
Get used to just him.
Get used to just her.
You’d be amazed how a ten minute clitoris stroke, or a ten minute penis suck can change a day that looks like it’s coming unglued.
You need to know you’ve got a short and amazing alternative to pretending that you don’t have a great sex life.

Talk about nothing on the walk.
Or talk about gratitude.
And what you love.
And what you are aware of in that moment. (Not how, “oh wow” it was back in the sucking mode. Let the pleasure be the pleasure when it’s happening.
That’s good enough.

Now to make it all bold face, in case you want to find just the “game” of the day>>>>

Lust Game # 12: Mindful Penis Sucking (MPS)

Rub his thighs for two minutes first.
Then suck, mindfully for a set amount of time, 5, 8 or 10 minutes. No more for quite a while. Let it end with both of you still ablaze.
This blaze will fuel something, deep and subtle and amazing.

Suck slowly, and for learning, mutual pleasure and connection.
No goal, except awareness and pleasure in the moment.
Feel the real sensations, not your ideas about “how it’s going” or “where it should/ could go.”
Let the timer tell you when to stop sucking mindfully.
When you immediately stop the mindful sucking, then gently and with no “messing around”, hold his penis for a minute or two to calm things down. Do this, too, please, as a mindfulness meditation in touch and connection.

When’s it’s over, it’s over.
Go for a walk.
Talk about gratitude, what you love, what you are aware of.
Or: nothing.

This is a strange chapter near the end of the book and it’s absolutely necessary to a yummy life.
She needs to give him time to pleasure her in the FOAM practice, when she simply lays back and takes it all in.
He need to give her time to pleasure him in the Mindful Sucking practice, while he simply lays back and takes it all in.

The pressure to blow off the pleasure with climax is huge.
Pass it by.
You’ll see why.
Not right away.
But you will see why.

It’s about allowing the moment to flood with pleasure.
It’a about being present to way higher pleasure than you think you deserve.
It’s about being full.
It’a about being flooded.

It’s about giving and receiving.
It’s about having two sexual practices that can stand alone in great bliss and presence.
It’s about connection.

Don’t believe me?
No reason you need to.
This is for you to discover.
This is a deep learning.

Try out each one every other day for a week or two and see what happens.
Summary of Week Four, Day Three: LUST
Non-reciprocal sex is fuel for a blissful life.
Sometimes ALL FOR HER.
Sometimes ALL FOR HIM.


Wednesday, August 02, 2017

Sex Every Day. Really? Yes.

Week Four, Day Four: LUST
Suck his Penis - MINDFULLY
Stroke her Clitoris — MINDFULLY
Go into Now
Go into Nature
Expand love
Expand life
Be grateful: write them down. Speak them.
Talk in turns.
Seven actions for everyday

If you’ve got this far, here’s seven things you need to do every day:

1. Hug with awareness
2. Talk in turns about gratitude and what you love and what you aware of in the present
3. Every other day:
Have either a FOAM (Female Orgasm Awareness Meditation), ten minutes or so,  one way sexual meditation.
Or, a Mindful Penis Sucking (MPS, again ten minutes or so) one way sexual meditation.
Both NOT about the goal of climax. 
Both NOT about any goals other than awareness, presence, giving/ receiving and pleasure in the moment.
4. Write gratitudes in a journal and write goals in a journal
5. Do some form of “energy exercises” or mindful movement, together, in the present, both in the morning and before bed
6. Do some form of deep breathing/ meditation together every day. Or a mindful walk in Nature. Some form of non-verbal, going to connection with the person who is you when you are BEING and not DOING. Human beings, right, vs human doings?
7. Set out to be present, happy, and loving all day, no matter what comes your way.

That’s a lot.
Oh, well.
If you want a fabulous relationship, it’s going to require going against the grain of being housemates, or warring partners, or pent up disgust waiting for a divorce down the road.

If you want to wake up, you have to wake up.
Sex every day, in one of the non-reciprocal ways is a big part of an awakened partnership and marriage.
And it’s a one seventh part.

Without wakefulness the greatest sex will grow weird and greedy and will end up in one of these awful non-monogamy communities. I know people here and there get a big buzz out of these, and basically: they are unhappy, and filling the time with emotional therapy instead of really living life.

Without goals and gratitudes, you are basically drifting through life, which is what the world wants (as a drifter, you are easy prey for whatever they want to sell you, either material goods, or war, or some sort of massive distraction like Facebook)

Energy exercises are so obvious.
Movement with awareness is.
We are in a body.
Without connection down to our toes and out to our fingers, we aren’t really fully human.

Breathing/ meditation is even less obvious.
Being in Nature is not.
If you have children, you have probably experienced how they shift instantly when they are in nature.
If you have you, you have probably experienced how you shift instantly when you are in nature.
Meditation is sitting, doing nothing, except doing a lot with your attention. On your breathing. On being alive. On awareness. On sending a visualization of light to various areas (lungs, feet, liver, heart, ribs, brain) that you wouldn’t mind feeling and functioning better.
It’s like a self-love game.
Try it.

And so, this chapter is supposed to be about penis sucking.
Some would recommend a couple of months of the FOAM first. 
For couples who have zero or little sex, the guy needs to be brought into the strange and wonderful world of JUST RECEIVING.
So, we’ll start this today, in week four.
Make it every other day with letting her be in the world of JUST RECEIVING.

Lust Game # 13: Be awake and aware during non-reciprocal sex
Have non-reciprocal sex every day
One day, ALL FOR HER
One day, ALL FOR HIM
(Not that hard to modify for gay couples)
Don’t aim for climax
Be present
Feel the connection

Alternate which form of non-reciprocal sex every other day.
This is fair.
This is fun.
This is feisty.
This wakes up connection in a way that cannot be explained on the page.
You have to experience this.
Please do.

Summary of Week Four, Day Six: LUST
Lust for life.
Meditate/ go to nature
Gratitudes in a journal and in your speaking
Have non-reciprocal sex every day
Do the other from the list of seven. Every day is a miracle.
You are a miracle.
All seven help you wake up to the miracle of you as a miracle.