What if Enlightenment were a lot more simple?

Love

Loving

Loving Wha Is

Enlightenment is Now

There is no hurry to “be” enlightened because enlightened is just a word. Who wants to “be” a word?

And what is enlightenment is awaking to an ongoing love of Reality an ongoing love of What Is.

Blah, blah, blah.

Let’s make it simple

Enlightenment Game #2:

Start a series of sentences with “NOW I AM AWARE . . .”

and then after the . . . add the phrase, ‘AND I LOVE . . .”

If you are aware of a sore back, this might be a bit of a stretch.

So cheat a little. (“Cheat” in the right understanding can be using your noggin to be smart and creative about something instead of the way other people’s rules, or your rules say it “should” be done.)

Enlightenment Game #3:

Look around you in the present moment.

Listen around you in the present moment.

Sense and notice touch, in inner proprioception in the moment.

Search for things you like or love.

Then do the earlier game:

“I AM AWARE OF . . . AND I LIKE/ LOVE . . .”

Go slowly.

Keep finding in the present moment something you like/ love and combine awareness with liking and loving.

“Now I am aware . . .”

“And I like/ love . . .”

What does this do for you?

Can you feel a kind of lift off?

Remember: keep cheering. Scan for the simple joys and pleasures of life.

“Now I am aware of my toes. And I love my toes.”

“Now I am aware of my fingers. And I love my fingers.”

“Now I am aware of smiling. And I love smiling.”

“Now I am aware of the blue sky. And I love the blue sky.”

“Now I am aware of breathing and being alive. And I love breathing and being alive.

Enjoy your day.

One enlightened moment of loving what is after another.

Freedom and Freedom: July 4th awakening

July 4, 2019

Freedom and Freedom

Waking up to our real freedom

Fourth of July is either a big deal or not, AND it could be a reminder that freedom, real freedom, is our birthright.

First level freedom - - you know, freedom from illegal search, freedom of speech and press, freedom to drive down the street and not be stopped because of your skin color, freedom to live where you want, freedom from being thrown in the clinker without being told why - - these and more and a wonderful baseline to good life.

And not everyone has them.

And for most white Americans, they exist, of course with greater and greater reliability to more money you have.

And,

leaving aside my not so subtle political ranting, let’s look at a deeper level of freedom, the freedom of our own soul, the freedom to be at peace inside, the freedom of your own inner weather.

This is our birthright. This freedom is a buddy of our birthrights: happiness, awareness, love, learning.

And the easiest way to talk about and explore this inner weather, inner freedom is to lay out what causes the central slavery of most of humanity:

1. fear of dis-approval from others
2. fear of dis-approval from our own inner judgment machine ( and machine is exactly the right word: this inner attack robot is totally automatic)
3. believing any of our hard-luck, poor-me, victim, should/shouldn’t, life-is-unfair thinking.

Disconnect from these three and we are in the land of freedom and happiness and learning and love.

So let’s check them out, briefly, one at a time.

And you, gentle and becoming more wise everyday, reader, keep checking them out every time you are unhappy. Chances are one of these slaveries is grasping you by the soul, heart and balls.

Fear of outer disapproval. 

Just notice how often this colors, or guides or constrains what we are willing to do, or not to do.

And notice this reality: they can dis-approve until they are blue in the face and we don’t have to believe it.

Or, if it’s true to some extent, we don’t have to think we are unfit as a human. We are just human. We can change.

There is judging: we could have gotten up earlier and gotten a run/ walk/ meditation in.

And that might be true.

And there could be an intonation to the judgment: you are yuk because you didn’t get up earlier.

Nah, we can consider that benefits and disadvantages of getting up earlier to run/ walk/ meditate.

We can chose freedom from yuk and not agree with, or buy into the intonation.

Watch this in all arguing.

It’s vastly more crippling than we realize, not the least of which is fear of improvement because when we hear the yuk intonation we knee jerk reject the possibly useful feedback.

Fear of inner disapproval. That sticky voice of : you are wrong, bad, little, terrible, etc.

Listen for something like that any time unhappiness sneaks in to know you our of a full and delightful life.

And this inner disapproval is actually a subset of believing our own thinking.

Big chunks of this book we be about shift we can make when we get lost in should and shouldn’t about the world, and ourselves and other people.

We will dive deeply into the work of Byron Katie, which to my experience is the quickest way out of first world suffering. (The suffering of people being mean, inconsiderate, or the job not working out, or sickness / death coming at the “wrong” time, vs third world suffering of being bombed, shot, rapped, stabbed.)

This way offers one main thing: freedom.

It offers this by learning, learning the difference between when we believe our poor-me thinking and when we either don’t believe it, or just hop out of thinking into real time, now time present reality.

Let’s talk about this tomorrow.

For today, though, let’s stick with the real freedom of what it would be like to not believe our thinking about how the world “should” or “shouldn’t” be as it is.

This is enlightenment by the way: giving up our struggle to demand that reality be different than it is.

An elephant comes down the road.

We want it to be a giraffe.

Impossible.

The more we think life is cruel and unfair because it isn’t a giraffe, the more we suffer.

This is slavery.

The more we love it being an elephant the happier we can be.

A simple example to be sure.

Harder:

A friend dies at 52.

The friend should have lived longer.

No matter how much we want that to have been different, the friend is still dead.

Which way is freedom?

Which way is slavery?

Slavery: wanting to control what we can’t.

Freedom: being present to the reality of our life in the moment.

This is big work.

This is enlightenment not “just” to achieve some fancy high grade word. This is enlightenment to return to our birthright: freedom, happiness, presence, delight and love. (And more, and more: great sex - - LUST - - being one. Being able NOT to be trapped in arguments - - LOVE - - is another.)

Consider your life and inner weather in any and all moments: are you free and happy?

If so, good.

If not, who is causing this slavery?

Could be you.

More tomorrow.

Love and Lust: What not have both?

You can have love without lust. Sex can be ho hum. Or almost dutiful. Or a hit and miss thing that has to be fueled by going to the movie, or a glass of wine.

Even then, it is usually almost dreamlike, a feeling a returning to an amazing, and forgotten world.

"Why don't we do this more often" the passionate couple think.
And then forget about it for another week.

And there are far worse, couples who are reluctant to have sex. The partner has gotten fat, or mean, or  has slipped into tragic habits (drinking, watching TV, overeating). Which aren't really tragic, but they certainly do make a person boring, don't they?

This is why the word Enlightenment is part of the bigger way of approaching all this. Someone watching TV or drinking is more or less "killing time" with their life.

Which happens when you or I or anyone falls into the automatic life of sleep and habit that the world gears and trains us for.

What does that have to do with love without lust?
An awake person realizes that the body wants to touch. A person with love, realizes their body wants to get deliciously close to their partner.
An awake person remembers the sweetness of sex and returns often, for delight, renewal and connection.

Simple version: love is better, much better with sex as an almost daily nourishment.


And going the other way: sex every day without love could keep people kind of young and perky, and from what I've seen, usually leads to a restless prowl into the messy worlds of polygamy. Not that this is a morally "bad" way to live.

And, this is messy.

I've never seen the theoretically wonderful world of sharing and non-jealousy actually happen.

And, if you want to be awake in the world, and stay healthy, and be of benefit to the "Saving the World" necessity, you don't really have time for all the anguished back and forth emotional "processing" (attacking and complaining and half-assed psychology, usually) that all Open Love situations seem to require.

And, what if, just what if, you had sex daily and didn't really love the person?

Seems to me, you'd grow to love the person.

And maybe not. If you were afraid to talk to them, or even more important, afraid to listen to them, love could stagnate.

So, you'd be getting your dessert and no dinner.

Sounds like starvation would come soon.

What do you think?

What is an Awakened Relationship//// first 10 pages

Love, Lust, & Enlightenment

Awakened Love

for

a Delightful, Juicy, and Present Life

while

“Saving the World”

Chris Elms, M.A.

360-317-4773

chriselms@vom.com   

LoveLustEnlightenment.com   

 Copyright—— 2018

Do you want an Awakened Relationship?

People find another person, and things are great, or pretty good. Then things come into some sort of drifting status quo. Sex stays pretty good, and friendship disappears. Or friendship gets comfortable and sex disappears.  Very few couples live in the thrill of enlightenment as a simple way of being in which you are happy almost all the time, and are present almost all the time, and have a commitment to the Big Picture, to “Saving the Earth.”

And the earth needs saving, just look at all the poverty and war and racism and ecological destruction and vast income inequity and sexism: tis a mess. And loneliness. And meaninglessness. And deep harrowing struggles for so many. Yes, the Earth needs saving, but without the anguish that usually goes along with this. 

My goal is 10,000 Awakened Couples, who are happily engaged in Love, and Lust and Enlightenment. And “Saving the Earth.”

To make it simple, here’s the base line of Awakened Relationship.

Love: Ease and fun and communication every day.

Love: Ready ways to forgiveness and humor when buttons get pushed, or the shit hits the fan.

Lust: Sex, both reciprocal and non-reciprocal every day. Mindful sex.

Enlightenment: Happy and in the present almost full time.

Enlightenment: Committed to the Big Picture and happily, mindfully “Saving the Earth.”

This books is for anyone, in a couple or wanting to be, who wants all five aspects to Awakened Love. You might be in a boring or okay relationship. You might be in a troubled one. You might be alone.

If you want this wonderful Awakened Relationship world, this book is for you.

There are nine weeks worth of focusing on pathways of liberation. There will be “games” for you to play almost immediately. 

You can play one right now.

The Wake Up Game:

Smile.

Look out a window if one is near.

Take a breath down to your belly.

Sense your pelvis’ connection to the chair. If you are standing, sense your feet and the ground or the floor. If sitting sense one or both feet against the floor or ground. 

Breathe again, a little deeper. Smile a little bigger.

Feel yourself alive.

Right now.

The first three weeks will concentrate on three liberations pathways —Gratitude, Being Present, Writing Goals from the Real you—that helped a miracle take place in my life, and that of Carol. Who is Carol? Read on.

Week One: GRATITUDE

On June 20, 2015, I walked half a block down my street in Austin, Texas, to meet a woman I knew and admired and liked, but with whom I thought I had no “romantic” expectations. I had met her a mere three months before, in March. She had moved to Austin in February. Now in June it was a gentle summer’s day, and we were going to meet for a lunch and “study” session. I was writing a book on radical listening. She was smart and kind and I wanted her input. Her name was Carol Williams then.

It’s Carol Elms now.

We thought we were meeting for an hour and a half. For lunch and a bit of her help on a book I was writing, the precursor to this one.

Twelve hours later, at one am, as I pried myself out the door, to walk the half block back to my home, we both were almost certain we’d met the future lifetime partner that had a day before seemed “almost impossible” to find. I’d written an “impossible goal” to find a fabulous woman within walking distance. I hadn’t realized till that night that Carol was to be the answer to that request.

Goals are important, crucial, yes. Carol had been praying for a life time partner. But goals written or prayed from a heart of grumpiness and fear are more like whining. Goals from the fertile fields of gratitude are more like singing as you plant a fertile field.

This book is for those who want a fabulous relationship at the center of a fabulous, awakened, sexy life. A life that is making a huge difference in the world.

Is this you?

If yes, read on…

We all thrive in gratitude…

On that night, and since then,  the practice of gratitude was a deeply embedded part of both our lives. Then, as now, I was writing in a “gratitude journal” at least twice, often three or four or five times, a day. Carol, on that miracle day, had a steady background prayer life, of which gratitude and thanks was a significant part. Now she has a gratitude journal, too. By the middle of week one, (or sooner) so will you. If you want a fabulous life. (Oh, darn: basic law: if you want to change, you have to change).

And, of course, Carol and I keep being grateful that our gratitude helped paved the way for our miracle. And every day we are grateful for the fun and sexual delight and waking into the present moment that is our new life. 

What are you grateful for? Think of three things. Does something shift?

The Power of Gratitude

Gratitude focuses our hearts and minds on what we like and love in life, what is going well in our life, what we are thankful for and want more of. Instead of wasting time and mental energy on worry or complaining, gratitude allows us to look at life from a peaceful and open heart. With an eager heart alert to what has gone well in the past, we are primed to be looking forward to more “good stuff” unfolding each day.

Gratitude has us focused on what we want more of in life, not what we want less.

Modern research has shown what ancient wisdom has long suspected: the brain (and person) can be in either fear or gratitude.

Carol and I were tuned in to what we appreciated about our lives. This made it far easier to tune into what we could appreciate in the other person. We played a communication game that I will give you soon as part of chapter two, the Being Present chapter. In this game, you take turns talking a specific amount to a timer (3, 4, 5 minutes). In this time, no interrupting is permitted. We took five minutes each. We had the goal of being present in both talking and listening.

This game will change your life.

For us, in gratitude and in the presence of talking and listening without interruption, this “game” allowed one hour to expand into two, into three, into four for us.

And as we listened, since our lives were coming from gratitude, and being present, we could discover who we were with. It wasn’t about explaining ourselves. It was about mutually discovering each other.

Way too many “dates” are like job interviews, where the people push their “qualities” back and forth. Instead, if they were present and curious, they could be delighting in finding out about a new human being on this planet earth.

We keep discovering and discovering and discovering. Then it was time for “have you ever watched the Brene Brown TED talk on vulnerability?” “No.” And watching it.

“Say something vulnerable.”

“You are starting to look a lot like the level of person I never thought I could find.”

More of that.

Walking to dinner.

Holding hands.

Back to watch the TED talk again.

I asked her favorite verses from the Bible, since it had become clear in our talking that in quite different ways (deep Christianity for her, a mythical Buddhism meets Christianity for me) we were both intensely committed to a spiritual path.

One of hers was “Be Still and Know I am God.”

To me this meant: Bingo. That’s what meditation is about. I’ve found someone with whom I can meditate. (We now have sex usually twice a day. We now meditate usually twice a day. Going deep in two ways. Yum).

One of mine was Philippians 4:4:  “Be happy (rejoice) in everything. Be anxious in nothing. Lift up your thanks and then your petitions.” (Give your gratitudes, and then your requests/ goals… Always be in a state of equanimity).

There was more talk.

I told her, to her shock, I was going to a wonderful Austin church the next day, with music that sometimes bordered on Broadway musical and sermons that were about real Christian themes, not the narrow minded stuff of many modern churches. 

We kissed a bit.

We held ourselves back. 

I pried myself away and got out the door at one, am.

We were both pretty sure we’d found the “impossible” mate/ lifetime partner that we’d suspected might not be out there.

And yet, here we were, half a block apart.

I showed up the next morning, at eight with my way cool Restored New Testament (Willis Barnstone, check it out) in hand.

We’ve been together since.

That was June 21, 2015, our day of “Yes.”

And then the deeper “Yes” came on March 5, 2016, the day of our marriage.

We had and have  nine wedding vows, all of which we recite together each morning. The ninth is: We are joyfully creating a long and happy and healthy and enlightened Love, Friendship and Marriage that is getting better and better and better every day.

Every day.

That usually happens. 

We touch a lot. Kiss a lot.

We are getting better and better at converting growls into laughs.

We are getting better and better and transforming complaints into ease and self realization and “we goals.”

And making love.

Delicious lovemaking.

The best of our lives.

Once a day.

Twice a day.

Three times a day.

She is now 68 to my 72. Neither of us have ever had a third as much sex as we are having now. For her before it was several times a month, at best. For me, twice a week.

And now: zowie. As if we were in our twenties. If this, along with mindfulness and health and happiness and awakening to ways of joyfully “saving the world,” is what you want… read on.

And….This isn’t a sex manual.

Sex is the dessert to an amazing life. If you are alone and deserted now, many of the games in this book will help you find really great friends, friends with whom awakening and real communication can take place.

One of those great friends might turn out to be the lover and spouse that you are looking for.

Along the way, you can be present and happy with yourself and with others. If so, you will be living a real life and pulling toward you real people. Without being present and happy (and having purpose) it’s all the random crap shoot of most life.

This book is for those who want far, far above the Random Crap Shoot.

For those who want Love, Lust and Enlightenment.

And now, for the beginning of your week one playwork, let us start our gratitude games:

Love and Gratitude Game #1:

Say aloud five things you are grateful for. Feel your heart as you say these five.

Really, do it now. This is not a book to “just read” and imagine “doing it” later. This is not a book of “good ideas” for you to give your “screwed up” friends. This is a transformation manual for those who want even more amazing life.

So, do it.

Say aloud five things you are grateful for, and be as present to your body and your voice and your heart as you can be while you do so.

Love and Gratitude Game #2: Write five Gratitudes.

Get a journal, label it your “Gratitude Journal” and write down five things you are grateful for.

Write slowly.

Feel your breathing and your hand and arm moving.

Feel your handwriting as part of YOU pouring out your appreciation for life.

If you don’t have a journal, YET, grab any piece of paper and write five gratitudes.

Nine Weeks to Better Love, Sex, and "Almost" Enlightenment

Here are the steps/ weeks/ stages.

Each one of itself is quite fine.

We can all enjoy upgrading ourselves in any of these areas, don't you think?

•  Gratitude

• Being Present

• Goals from your Real Self

• No Body = Nobody, Real Learning via Movement

• Don’t Believe your “Thinking” (words in your head)

• Humor, Happiness, & Health

• Connect with the “Energy”

• Have Sex/ “Awakened Conversation”  Every Day

• Be happily involved in “Saving the World”

Learning and Enlightenment... Who are we?

Learning and Enlightenment

And, more learning.

Learning and Enlightenment Game #1:

We’ve already done this, in a way: what is the difference in being present and not being present.

Let’s take a very common variation of that.

1. Feel overwhelmed. Have your mind full of the auditory hallucination / thoughts, that there is “too much to do.” Exult in the feeling that you are going to have to rush to get even part of this done.
2. Slow down. Don’t worry about the future. Take a deep breath. Stand up and let your breath get deeper and your arms raise over your head. Smile. Feel your feet on the ground. Go outside. Feel the you-ness of you, alive, right now.

How is that?

Learn the difference between hurried and slowing down.

EXULT in the difference:

Who and how you are just now, outdoors, slow and aware.

Who and how you are as “thinking”/ auditory hallucination/ the “overwhelm” game. 

This is huge. This is a life lived from soul and a life lived from our programming.

THIS IS A LIFE LIVED FROM SOUL VS. A LIFE LIVED FROM OUR ROBOT.

Go slowly often, at least once an hour. See what happens to your life.

One way to look at enlightenment is to be in a state of connection with What Is. 

WHAT IS changes.

Life is impermanent.

The Now keeps shifting.

We breathe in. We breathe out.

We are born.

We die.

We go to sleep at night.

We wake up each day.

Miracle.

Miracle.

Miracle.

Miracle.

Each moment is different.

We can be seeing different, hearing different, feeling the sensations of our body in a new position, moment to moment.

As we go about our days, and try to get things done, we are in motion, and our bodies are always in a position that loves to be held in awareness.

We always have awareness.

An experiment worth trying is to play the learning game with awareness.

Learning and Enlightenment Game #2:

1. Look out a window and find something that you enjoy to look at. Go “into” the looking and the enjoying. First, pay attention to the object you are seeing as primary.
2. Now, make this shift: feel the awareness, the awareness that is aware of that object you enjoy.

Notice the difference.

C. LEARNING IS NOTICING THE DIFFERENCE> Go back and forth: you are what you see. “Something” is this awareness that is seeing. You are what you hear. “Something” is this awareness that is seeing. You are what your feet feel against the ground. “Something” is this awareness of your amazing body in gravity.

This seems “odd.”

Good.

We have spent our lives NOT realizing that what we are, in a certain way, awareness. You are glued to the outside show.

And yet, all along, at six months old and one hundred and six, awareness is aware. 

Who are we really?

Could be that we are this awareness.

Not, “have” this awareness. 

“Are” this awareness. 

And… as before, don’t believe me. Don’t “listen” to me.

Try it out.

Anything you are aware of: alternate between the object of your awareness and the awareness itself.

Notice that there may be no one who is “having” this awareness. We’ll get to that later.

For now, simply feel yourself as awareness. Try this out, as it were.

Learn. Learn the difference: I am what I see. Vs. I am this awareness that is seeing.

I am what I hear. Vs. I am this awareness that is hearing.

Play with this.

Remember children and how everything is play.

Play with feeling this shift in awareness of what you are, as awareness.

More Love, More Lust, More Enlightenment.. Principle #6

Principle Six: More Love

Love More. 

Sex More. 

Awaken More. 

Expand into your real and more amazing Self.

You could easily expand and fill out your life now with almost any of the prior principles.

This one is to remind us that life is limitless.

And that any day we don’t improve in a few ways, is not the life as big and joyful and wonderful as we want.

Carol and I were recently at a retreat led by Adyashanti, an American born Zen teacher in his early fifties. The spot was beautiful, Asilomar, on the Monterry coast of California. The month was December and the theme was the Jesus story as guiding myth to discover what heart centered enlightenment might look like.

One of the breakthrough moments was the mentioning of how Anthony DeMello, whom Adyashanti calls an enlightened Jesuit priest, would start all his seminars and weekend retreats by letting the audience know: “I’m an ass and you’re an ass. If we can start from there, we can get somewhere.”

That’s a great place to go for humor, clarity and truth any time you and your loved one start to spat.

Another high point of the retreat was when during the dialogue period one woman stood up and said she’d deeply enjoyed a recent course he’d given online about Love.

In particular, she thanked him for the exercise of saying, silently to ourselves, before we talk to anyone, “I love you.”

This sounded pretty great to me.

Combined with a recent blog by the Chinese master known as Dr. B (from “the energy”, see http://energyforsuccess.org ) on inclusion, this gives you, me and anyone a hugely more open and wonderful chance of connecting with and relating to people.

The inclusion blog states that you don’t have to believe old tired programming that says others don’t want to connect with and/or talk to you.

Assume the goal and vibration of inclusion and move forward. See what happens.

Let’s combine the two:

More Love Game for Talking to People #1: Inclusion

When you are around people, notice any tendencies to think they are different or somehow don’t want to talk with you.

Assume instead that you might enjoy each other.

Encourage in yourself the vibration of “inclusion.”

Feel something like “the energy” in your heart.

Smile.

Take a breath down to your belly.

Go talk to them.

See what happens.

This is written during the Christmas season.

This worked with all sorts of people the programming (which dr B calls “the matrix”) said wouldn’t be open to conversation.

Many wonderful conversations and connections happened.

And now let’s add the suggestion of Adyashanti:

Love More and Others, Game #2:

When around others

As you either “just” see them around you

Or, are about to talking to them,

Say to yourself, “I love you”

And then see what happens

What will happen for you?

Find out.

This is putting your heart first. Go ahead and love everyone. The creeps, the saints, the normal, and the exceptional, the dull and the exciting.

“I love you.”

Say it to yourself.

Go up to them. Add in the inclusion vibration.

How will that work?

Find out.

Love More and Your Partner, Game #3 : Dread >>Willing>>Looking Forward to

This is “hard”

So what?

Think of something you are “dreading” that your partner do again.

Do the “work of Byron Katie” on how they “shouldn’t” do that

Shift to saying: I am willing for them to do that.

Do the work of Byron Katie again. Really feel the difference: when you believe that they shouldn’t. And who you are without believing that story.

Now shift to saying: I am looking forward to ……., whatever it was that you dreaded

This is weird

This is magnificently liberating.

Try it and see what happens.

These three games , inclusion, and “I love you,” and “I am looking forward to….”(whatever used to scare you/ that you dread), can send your life into an ease and delight 

There are surely more.

That will be another book. Or two.

And now Lust.

This is going to be a bit raunchy.

Skip if you want your spiritual development and joy to be less than blissful.

Let’s have some fun.

Lust and Opening to More Life Game #1: 

Stroking the Clitoris for 15 minutes

This is for a couple that involves a woman.

The receiver is a woman.

Who takes off her panties. And leaves on the rest of her clothes.

The stroker is a man or a woman, who straddles this receiver in a certain way.

See the illustration.

The stroker looks toward the clitoris.

The receiver has her legs butterflied out.

The stroker gently rubs the thighs of the receiver for two minutes.

The stroker puts coconut oil on their right thumb and one of their left fingers.

The thumb goes in the outer edge of the lower part of the vagina.

The left hand finger, very slowly and very gently strokes the clitoris for 13 minutes.

Gentle.

Slow.

Mindful of the point of contact.

Mindful of the pleasure you feel through the stroking finger.

The receiver stays mindful of the spot being stroked.

Feeling the pleasure.

Moment by moment.

No goal for either person.

Just the pleasure and sensation of now.

Then, after 13 minutes, two minutes of slowing down.

Then, clothes on and hugging.

Or clothes on and cuddle and take a nap.

Or clothes on and take a walk.

Clothes on and anything besides “normal sex.”  

Do this every day.

This is complicated, and easy.

Just pay attention, in the moment, without a goal of climax. Pay attention to the spot on the human body with the most pleasure receptors.

The stroker, stroking gently the clitoris, will feel warmth and electricity and more.

The strokee, feeling this, will feel…… A lot.

Let’s say a few non-proven by studies possibilities:

Easier menopause.

Radical increase in oxytocin and well being.

Re-opening to sexuality

Re-orienting of how to go about sexuality

Realization that sex can be a meditation

Realization that life is a pleasurable meditation

As always, don’t believe me.

Try it out.

And see.

How often?

Every day.

What?

Every day.

Whether you have “normal” sex or not.

Have this sex, the sex that concentrate of female orgasm as pleasure in the real moment, and not as climax.

Every day.

Practice stroking softly.

Practice being present in intimate touch.

Practice NOT having a climax goal.

Practice the small and real point of real connection in the real moment.

Learn, feel, realize the connection at a deep and non-verbal level that comes from this.

Enjoy.

Another lust game: 

More Lust Game #2

Listening to Your Heart

Have a goals journal

Get silent and still

Write gratitudes first in the gratitude journal

From the present and gratitude, do a few “source energy” exercises 

From the energy and gratitude and being present, ask you heart

“Heart, what are your great wishes”

Listen.

Write them down. On the left side of the page. Or on the left page with the right page left open.

Or the right side, or right page, write one small action step that could take you closer to achieving this goal.

This could be seen as using “the energy” in one of the ways its meant to be used. ( Another is simple reverence for the glory of Life. Another is bliss and gratitude at the miracle of being alive.)

This is giving the “energy” somewhere to go.

Giving your vitality somewhere to point.

Giving your optimism a place to play and work and move toward.

Reminding you that life is a game and a treat and all challenges are a change to change and grow and expand and evolve.

Good.

And with the evolve vibration, let’s slip up and over to “enlightenment” games.

More enlightenment is more or less a nonsense idea.

And so what…. it points the way to a feeling of the generosity of life being echoed by the generosity of your participation.

More Enlightenment Game #1:

Love What “It” Doesn’t Like

As you go about your day, pay attention to your AVERSIONS

Use the work of Byron Katie,

or becoming present

or ongoing joy of life to

make the shift:

Love that thing, person, news, whatever the “it,” the conditioned and programmed and “matrix” part of you dislikes

This is very much like the looking forward to what you dread action.

Except that it gives you something moment by moment to use as a “wake up.”

The part of us that dislikes, unless it is a very pure dislike, for example, hatred of a child being mistreated, is usually very narrow and selfish and programmed and stupid.

To wake up to the painful feeling of dislike is the start.

To “turn it around” in this full and radical way causes us to wake up.

Wake up to what?

Wake up to this definition of enlightenment

More enlightenment game # one million:

Love What Is.

That’s all.

You’ve got an upset stomach: love it.

You’ve got cancer: love it.

You don’t know how to cure it: love that.

You are willing to look in spite of the IDK (I don’t know): love that.

You get contradictory and even bad advice: love that.

Some people avoid you: love that.

Some people over advise you: love that.

And so on.

I don’t know what to write next.

Love that.

You don’t know how to do this:

Love that.

The nice thing about What Is, is

One: It’s always changing

Two: It’s always here, right now

Three: You always have the choice:

Love it

Fight it

Ignore it

Pretend to be “okay” with it

And so on.

This is your life.

Always now.

Always changing.

Always chuck full of your own variation of the What Is of life.

Your life.

Your life as a novel, movie, play, TV show.

Love it.

And if you don’t.

Try the two spot or two chair method:

One spot or chair: Don’t love/ resist/ complain about your life

The other spot or chair: Love your life

More enlightenment #3:

If things aren’t the way you want them, write a goal.

Problem solve.

Get in the energy.

Go for some creative and new way to solve/ change / shift the problem.

See it all as learning.

Learning is noticing differences:

What can you do , feel, think, breathe, be aware of differently.

So that new learning can be happening.

In your brain, heart and soul

and Body

Right now.

This is a bit far out.

Good.

So is Love, Lust and Enlightenment.

If you want the normal self help crap, go find it.

This is all of you, having great sex and great relationship and great success and great fun.

If you want it, be amazing.

That’s who you are meant to be.

How?

Play this or ANY game in the book.

Good.