A section of Relationship & Enlightenment Manual

 

Coming to Less

[ Wanting sets up a churning in us. Waiting for the other to change has its own consequences. Just being is a relief.]

Sit across from your partner. You will go through this each three times. (This can be amazing, and liberating, in doing this with a “missing” person in your life. An ex-lover/ ex-spouse/ deceased loved one/ missing to far away friend)

First, look at your partner, while they look at you, and fill yourself with “wanting.” Think of something you “want” from them. Feel what happens inside you when you put your attention there.

Look away, breathe, come back to now.

Second, look at your partner, again while they look at you, and think of “waiting.” But not a calm waiting, but an attached waiting, as if something “needs to happen.” Feel how you feel. Notice.

Third, look at your partner with no waiting and no wanting. Be present. See what there is to experience and enjoy in the very moment of your interaction.

Set a timer to end this sweetness. ( I.e., give yourself three minutes to experience the wanting, the waiting and the empty. Go deep.)

Finish by saying, while present: I am alive, you are alive.

Breathe together and switch roles.

Remember, go back  through this at least two more times.