it usually isn't as if they got up that day,
and thought:
wow, today is a great day to lash out
at
so and so
if you are partners, they may be festering old wounds,
and the slightest provocation sets them off
or, they might have lifelong issues
and you do something that triggers that
or, they might have a shitty habit of
lashing out
whenever they don't get their way
but basically:
they are just blind, trapped robots,
doing what their programming makes it
inescapable that they do
so,
the solution:
curiosity
what's bothering them
that's all
feel your hurt
feel your pain
be the victim for two or three minutes,
then
put your attention out:
what's going on with them?
can you ( or I) listen into them
and discover:
what is their real pain
and wonder,
again curious without the usual fix-it kit,
how could they
get
free of it
a little
or
free of it
a lot
or
free of it
completely
if you do,
two people gain:
you,
because they'll probably lash out
less
or none
and them,
because they don't have to be a slave to
that pattern of
avoiding their pain any longer
pretty good,
eh?
(yes)
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