The Secret of Happiness

The Secret of Happiness

The secret of happiness is to stop DOING unhappiness.

We do unhappiness when we forget this:  When we argue with Reality we lose, but only 100% of the time.

Like this: look at a nearby chair.

Demand that it be an elephant.

Any luck.

Now pout, get angry, feel hurt that it’s not an elephant.

Any shift?

Okay. The chair is a chair. So be it.

Here’s four arguments with reality we always lose:

That we be different (in the past, or exactly this moment) than we are. Arguing with ourselves. Painful.

That others be different. They should instantly or in the past have been different.

That the world be different. We know how it should be.

That God be different. Arguing with the inevitable.

Examples:

Argument with myself: “I should be happy right now.”(If I’m not) I can shift in two seconds. But right now, I am what I am.

“I should have been happy yesterday.” Never going to happen.

Argument with Others: “You should be nicer.” You are the chair, exactly as nice or not nice as you are.

Again, in two seconds it can change, but “You should have been nicer yesterday.” Never going to happen.

Argument with the world. “There should be no poverty.” Not in this instant, at least.

Argument with God. “So and so shouldn’t have died.”

Who says.

“So and so should have lived longer.”

Is it true?

What Is has the sweet finality of being exactly what it is.

If we can love it, we can change a lot in the next two seconds or two days or two weeks.

If we fight it right now, pain.

If we fight what was yesterday, which is the source of almost all couple’s fights, pain, pain, pain.

Ready to be happy?

People think they are complaining because they are in hell.

Whoops, the other way around. People are in hell because they are complaining/ arguing with reality.

Okay, cool.

Do with this what you may.

Talk.

Take turns.

In gibberish, tell your partner some way they should change.

Switch to another chair. In English, say what you see right now. Only present based observation.

Go back and forth with this for awhile.

Share at the end how this was for you.

Touch:

Explore and rub the other person’s foot.

Switch between telling yourself you aren’t doing it right or that there is some “better” way to do this

And

Simply exploring exactly as you are. As if it’s brand new moment every moment.

Take four minute turns.

Share at the end how this was for you.