Monday, July 04, 2016

What do YOU want? I mean, You, the real you, not the trained seal

Who are you?

How amazing do you want your life to be?
    Are you one of the people Love, Lust and Raw Enlightenment coaching is designed to help with life joy, delight, love and transformation?

Is this you????

You want more love in your life. Again: You want more and deeper love in your life.
This can take many forms.

You have a pretty good relationship and you want a spectacular one. This can take the form of having better communication, or better sex, or more fun, or resolution of “issues” that are never broached, or “just” plain old enlightenment.
Just plain old enlightenment means that instead of going through the motions, no matter how polite and well choreographed, you are awake and present to each other most of the time.
Including the hardest of times: when you are talking.
Or the even harder of hard times: when you are in disagreement and one or both want to slip slide slump into reactivity and conditioned responses that have been automatic for a couple of million years.

You have a dull relationship, and you are tired of the boredom and the stagnation and the lack of connection. 
This is common.
Gad this is common and all our electronic devices make it so much easier to ignore. You “just have” to check your email, or your phone, which is glued to your eyeballs, as your breathing almost stops and your posture hunkers over your little device.
And when you are finally ready and willing to talk to your partner, there they are, “too busy,” as they are hunkered over, hardly breathing, some oh so important text or Facebook hooey, and it’s so convenient to forget about you.
And even before devices, people read newspapers, watched sports, watched TV.
Still do.
Avoiding life and love and connection (and various “hard” areas to work through, and various vulnerabilities left unsaid) because we have our attention absorbed with anything but present based touch and talk and love and lust with our partner.
It seems a little better than loneliness, except this is often extremely lonely.

You don’t have a relationship: you’re single and tired of it.
You see the couples out there. You know a lot of them aren’t that happy, but at least they have someone to hold hands with. And sleep with.
You want this for yourself.
You are normal, of course you are. You have a deep wish for a wonderful partner, with whom you can have a joyful and awakened and loving and growing relationship, a relationship as a spiritual pathway to become all that you can be.
And you don’t have one.
How do you find someone?
What skills can you practice with friends and acquaintances to prepare you for having real and deep connection with a good person, if you meet them, great connection that can help you each decide easily of this is “the real deal?”
What is a waste of time in the dating world, and what might be ways to practice real connection, whether or not they are “the right one?”
(And: Is dating even necessary?
I don’t think so.)
 What is necessary is being awake and present, whether you are with someone or alone, or with nature or a pet or a book. You can be out to lunch, not present and sort of wasting time until sleep comes at night, or death comes at the end. But what could you be doing in the interim (your life) to have rich and amazing times as one moment becomes the next becomes the next, as the present flows and floods through us as our life keeps going and going and going.
Till it doesn’t.

You don’t have a relationship: you are divorced and not quite healed from it. Or far from healed from it.
Loving your enemies is crucial for a good life.
Forgiveness is essential to a  happy life.
Letting the nonsense go and learning from our mistakes is how we expand and become more and more amazing.
Divorce, like a serious illness, can be a wake up call. Literally: wake up to the present. And metaphorically: start changing things around so you don’t make the same mistakes the next time around.
This book will have tons of ways to let go of anger and hurt, tons of ways to be kind to yourself as you wait and search for another, tons of suggestions about how to find someone that is the real deal for you this time, lots of ways to become much more the person you wish you’d been the first time around.

If you want a fabulous relationship at the center of your life, then Love, Lust and Raw Enlightenment coaching might be for you. As the title page says text for a free 20 minute deepening into your big desires.

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