Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Lust Challenge: Not clitoris yet, nor naked make-out... Feet in the NOW

The First Lust Challenge
We are mammals
Let’s touch

Life is happening each day, and no matter how many hours we spend in a car, or on a computer, we are mammals. Our skin needs to touch the skin of other mammals.
Even shaking hands is a start.
If we are European, we might reach forward and touch people as we talk, especially women talking to women.
If we are normal kids we are always getting in trouble, or having fun, bumping into our friends.

And when we have a mate, there is sex.
Sex is much, much more than PIV.
I stands for “in.”
I learned this a couple of years ago, when I was the second oldest person in a group devoted to sexual awakening via putting attention and value on female orgasm.
Do you want to hear about that?

The goal was to have a form of sexual connection that wasn’t “sex” per se. The goal was meditation, in being present in each moment. And not striving for the over lauded climax.
The goal was connection in the moment at the point of greatest pleasure in the human body.
The head of the female clitoris. 8000 pleasure receptors in that little bee bee/ pea/ grain. They very in size.
They are always packed with pleasure receptors.

In this group, somewhat of a cult, but deeply dedicated to moving men out of stalemate and stalking and porn and masturbation, and committed even more to the stance that women needed a time and place to simply and deeply receive pleasure and attention and being present without having to “put out” or plan the reward later for her partner.

This is the secret of a great sex life.

Do I have a great sex life? At 72? With a 68 year old wife? Who until we met never really had the thrill of great sex. And me, pretty sure, that sex would be a pleasant memory after 65 or so?
We have a great sex life.
Several times a day.
Always some non-reciprocal sex. Sometimes PIV once or twice or three times a day. But always some juicy meditation in the pleasure of life when connecting, in the moment, to the pleasure spots.

And the goal: to connect. To allow the other to receive. To be present and not “try” for results. To be thrilled with the pleasure of the moment.

And what is your lust challenge?
Sex once a day.
Start the finger with coconut oil gently stroking the clitoris for 15 minutes as a meditation?

Not yet.
A ten minute naked make out will be the second lust challenge. But for now, I want to give something you could do with a friend. It would have to be a pretty good friend, but still, touch is touch and everyone needs it.
Being present is life.
Everyone needs that.
Touching and being present is what great sex is about. Let’s start from the  bottom up.
Your feet.
Being touched by your friends hands.
In turns.
As a meditation on giving. 
And receiving.
And being present.

Practice giving attention and pleasure in five minute chunks.
Practice creating “learning” as part of this pleasure.
Practice noticing and talking about the present while you practice this taking turns touching.

Alright, alright, what is the simple level Lust Challenge?

Simple Level Lust Challenge,
Spend 20 minutes.

In the first ten minutes, take five minute turns rubbing and caressing each others’ bare feet.
Spend time making sure to play with the toes one at a time.
If you can move the toes with a slight, gently loving pull that allows you to feel all the way up to their hip (or even their neck, but only by SLOW and GENTLE and PLAYFUL pulling), so much the better.

Five minutes each way.
Get used to giving as a meditation, be present to your touch and what you are feeling.
Get used to getting as a meditation, be present to your partner’s touch and what is happening in all parts of your body as a result of this.
Especially sense your breathing.
Especially sense everything from the waist down.

Ten more minutes.
Take turns again. 
And add on speaking your awareness. Each say four or five sensations (not emotions, not thought) you are feeling in the moment. The giver will share their present moment sensations for four or five times. The receiver with share their present moment sensations for four or five times.
Then trade and go five minutes the other way, again, bouncing back and forth in your verbal sharing of the sensations.

No sex afterwards for at least an hour.

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