forgiving, for giving, be happy

there's an old saying
that not forgiving
is like
swallowing the rat poison
and
hoping that the other person
dies

usually they don't
usually you feel bad
feel badly
feel awful

and the questions 3 and 4 of the work
work
well to get this as experience
rather than
moralizing

no
"You should forgive"

no
"let it go."

no
"move on"


you've got a grudge

"So and so shouldn't have done X"

it burns you up

you ask the first two questions
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know it's true?

and then:

when you believe that
"so and so shouldn't have done X" , how do you react?

That's # 3: How do you react when you hold this thought?

And you write down all the ways you feel bad,
when that thought is in your mind and
eating away at you.

#4, is just to try this out,
you don't have to "let go"

but, ask: "Without that thought in my mind, who am I? What am I?"

Go there.
Play.

And now,
get in two chairs and go back and forth:

This is me, when I hold the thought in belief

Change chairs:
This is me without the thought in my head.
or
This is me if I don't believe the thought.

Compare.

Go back and forth.

No "right" way to choose, and the difference feels so great
that the choice often simple makes itself.

Try it out and discover for yourself.
Good.