WAKING UP IN LOVE
You can fall in love and not be awake.
You are swept off your feet for deep seated and/or idiotic reasons.
Doesn’t matter. You head turns off its
dominance for awhile and you fall.
And then you get together.
It's all perfect.
And then it's not.
And then you have the choice, be
mindful or mindless in your love.
Mindful seems a lot of trouble, except
that it’s so fun, because you are present at each moment to new possibilities,
to doing something different than your programming says to do, or different
than either of you are expecting.
Mindless, as in not being present, as
in not being mindful, is the default mode of human life, and if you have met
Ms. Right, or Mr Right, it seems like you’re going to get away with drifting
along on your good luck, except for a minor detail.
It won’t work unless you both have
perfect parents.
If you both have perfect parents, then
when things get stressful you can go to the mindless automatic solution you saw
with your parents ( which, not so strangely, will be either mindfulness or
something close: like humor, like listening, like putting the other first, like
hugging and taking a breather, like… Who knows? Perfect parents must have a lot
of cool ways of dealing with trouble.
I’ve never met anyone with perfect
parents, but if it’s you, let me know what they did).
And then, the rest of us.
With imperfect parents, who had less
than ideal ways of relating to each other when stress came down, if we are
mindless then we are on automatic.
If we are on automatic we are going to
go for our programming.
If they weren’t so good, these
programs, usually something like putting the other down, not listening, get
defensive, getting offensive, drinking, avoidance, having affairs, overeating….
Whatever they did not so well, if we are mindless, we have to drift back into
copying their mode.
Which sucked for them, whether they
stuck it out or not.
Aside: sticking it out has it’s
advantages, and without real month by month mindful growth, it’s taking each
other for granted, avoiding each other and going about somewhat robot lives,
fighting a lot, various drug and or sexual escapes, all the above shenanigans.
So it’s a two way deal:
Be mindful.
That things aren’t going so well.
That stress is up.
That there are solutions out there.
That these solutions are to be had
outside of the conditioned pathway.
( If you are in a couple and reading
this and want to have a pile of non conditioned and amazing ways to break
through to a new level, call, or email RIGHT NOW)
And what would being mindful look
like.
Ah, lots of ways, and this is, since
it can be done in almost all circumstances, talking or not, is the best I have
found.
1 sensing entire
right leg all toes to hip joint
2 adding on ( keep
sensing leg)
Entire right arm
All fingers to
shoulder
3 adding on
Entire left arm
Shoulder to all
fingers
4 adding on ( keep
sensing other three)
Entire left leg hip
joint to all toes
5 adding on
Spine sensing
pelvis to head
6 repeat and
deepen
All six
Then other way
7
Left leg toes to
hip
8 add on
Left arm fingers to
shoulder
9 add on
Right arm shoulder
to fingers
10 add on
Right leg hip to
all toes
11 add on
Spine from pelvis
to head
12
Everything
13 back to right
side first
Do things in
multiples of 12
Breathing
One breath each as
driving say
Balance
On left foot
Swing right foot
back from floor to behind
36 times
Sensing the count
as above
Then other way
Balance too two
Stand on left foot
Hold right knee
both hands
Pull to chest on
outbreath
Do 24 or 36 times
Then other way
This will bring
presence in a real embodied way
For
tension
"Coming home
" to now
Increasing
attention
Getting free of
thought and outside triggers
Slowing down
Real balance & strength
Alright: go to it.
With a mate or not, being mindful in
our bodies is fun, wonderful, useful and reminds us of the most important thing
in the world:
Which is?
You tell me.
Cheers,
Chris
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