Monday, December 01, 2014

Waking Up in Relationships

day eleven

This may be your actually day eleven. Or it may be the first day of your second month, and you’ll once again do ten days in three cycles.
Whatever it is, the PART A, mini version, is only going to be given at the end of the talk and the touch section. And it won’t be called Part A, but the minimum daily dosage.
It’s time to settle in and admit how important this relationship is to us. Even if it’s going to come to a shifting apart at the end of six months ( that’s the minimum to really work something through with someone you love.)
We’re going to have longer practices this ten days, and the touching is going to involve kissing and making out. We’re working our way up to the sexual parts, or the genitalia at least, and kissing is far, far underrated as an erotic past time.
I’d say we all should be making out at least fifteen minutes a day. Tongues and touch. Skin.
Oh, wait, we have a talking part, and the make out won’t come today, but soon, soon. ( In the book. No law/ rule/ commandment or even recommendation that you don’t start making out before the book suggests. Even now: fling down the book and make out for awhile. See if you die.

Okay. Here’s a five part game we are going to play many, many times.
I’m indebted to the Authentic Games community for this game, and it’s good for business, love and even ( EVEN!) creating an amazingly quick and deep connection with a stranger or new person in your life.

It goes like this:
There are two partners, A and B. ( Alternate days you are A and you are B. Though both get the full turn, A will start the talking always)
A: Talks for 3 minutes.
B: Reflects back, as closely as possible, the exact words they heard A say. No interpretations. No inferences. That’s later. 2 minutes
A: Give additional insight. Where B got it a little wrong. Where B forgot something that was important. Where A realizes they needed to put more emphasis. Where A realizes that the real theme of the sharing was slightly different than they’d thought the first time around. 1 minutes.
B: Tells A, either/ or:
What they “got” about A as a person from both of their shares.
What was the strongest emotional resonance in their sharing. What was the juiciest part of what they where sharing.
2 minutes. Go slowly. Really hone in to what you feel, FEEL, and think and intuit that A is like.
A: Share gratitude for being heard and listened to and “got” by B. Any places that B “got” you that didn’t really connect with who you feel you are, share that there needs to be more learning between to two of you. Not criticism. Just the reality. We’ve all got a long way to go to learn what another person is like.
1 minutes.
Pause. Breathe. Hug or hold hands. Be grateful for this. 1 minute.
So we’ve got
3 minutes A’s initial share
2 minutes: B reflecting back the words
1 minutes: A fine tuning their share
2 minutes: what B “gets” about A
1 minute: A’s gratitude and hints as to areas of future discovery.’
1 minute: hug, touch, pause, Breathe, integrate.
Total : 10 minutes.
I’d prefer a longer version. Which I’ll give on day 20 for the repeating practice. A version that will take 13 minutes each way. But for now, I want to keep within the half hour limit, which will mean ten minutes ( minimum) touch each day.
So, ten minutes each way.
I haven’t given the topic today.
“What you want the relationship to be.”
“What you want the relationship to be.”
Be uncertain, be vulnerable, be outrageous, be tentative, be certain. Share where you are today. We may well do this topic every other day.

The minimum daily dose, and you’ll have to try the full version above to experience how paltry this is in comparison:
2 minutes sharing: What you want the relationship to be. 1 minute feeding back what the listener “got” about you.

We have ten minutes left over.
We have lips.
That like to kiss.
In four minute batches, please have a recipient, in any position they chose, and a giver/ kisser.
The kisser/ giver kisses the recipient in as many places as their intuition calls for. Except the lips.
That’s tomorrow.
The recipient can make requests.
Or just soak it in.
Four minute each way.
Then One minute each sharing how give was for you and how getting.

Minimum daily dose.
Two minutes of kissing as per above. Each person goes each way.
One minute sharing how getting and giving was.

No comments: