Love as small doses of pleasurable connection, medicine for soul, heart and body

I set out on June 2 to write a blog a day
of great use in the world I am interesting in helping people create

the world of

Love and Sex Before Dinner

If you go to that blog, you'll find a daily offering,
but somehow I don't feel like it's a coherent whole

And that's good

Failure is the path to success
and Happiness is one of the few indicators
that we are on the right path

And so today,
I'm going to start over in a way,

and see what a post every day in July will be like,
with a strict alternation between love and sex
which really means,
talk and touch

except that it's not really going to be that,
because it's going to be about freedom and happiness
and so

the rotation is going to be
a
talk and touch day
a
talk day
and
a
touch day

I reference you to this much of the interview in Sun Magazine,
to which I'd highly highly recommend that you all subscribe:

INTERVIEW WITH BARBARA FREDERICKSON
ON LOVE AS DAILY SMALL AND REAL DOSES OF
POSITIVE CONNECTION

In that interview this is revealed from Frederickson's research:

“a lack of positivity resonance is, in fact, more damaging to your health than smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol excessively, or being obese.”

this is good news

IF we have positivity resonance in our lives

Which means:

small moments of pleasurable connection with another person,
in person

face to face

( not necessarily bodily pleasure, but more like a happy wish to smile and enjoyment of another's company)

And touch helps this.

Not sexual touch today,
just touch touch

And today's game is this:


in the framework of talking 3 minutes at a time,
with a timer

and not interrupting when the other is talking

and being present to your breathing and
to the reality
that
you are going to die
and
this other person is going to die
pay attention to yourself and them
and
your breathing and their breathing

and
then you talk for 3 minutes

each person has 3 turns

18 minutes

a couple that can do this can
thrive

a couple that doesn't
ah,
it won't be as wonderful
and
may well be a mess


and touch?

hold hands
while doing this

that's all

and....

do this every day
for ten days
comment,
or email
how this went

email to the right


cheers,
chrsi

Wake the F... up, F... to wake up

Sex is good

Misused
almost always

and sex
is
good


it's good for touch
it's goof for giving and getting at the same time

it's good for shutting down the mind,
usually


it's good for realizing
that we aren't alone,
usually

it's good for
giving

for giving

forgiving

and it's a mess


it creates a pleasure that is rare
because almost all the rest of life
is lived
out of
the present

out of
love
with the moment

out of sensing
and
touching
and
paying attention
and
connecting


so,
that's the wake the f..... up

how can we
sense full time

touch a lot with all the boundary stuff
and still:

everyone is dying for hugs and even hand holding

paying attention:

positive attention

how many people
can we be around

and like
and let them know

verbally
and
non verbally

that we like them

( I know this sad, sad community,
supposedly into improving love,
that is obsessed with fear
and with giving "adjustments" to each
other

alas,

they give themselves so much extra work,

even though they have a non drug drug
to alleviate the pain
they are constantly encouraging)


no,
f..... to wake up

like this:

have good sex

then have a great talk

about the simple joys of life

what you like

in that moment

not what you liked in the sex

that is over

what you like
now


this now

....

really
this one

if you are in a room with another person,
go tell them something you like
about them
and that you like about being alive

and that you like about yourself


.....
see July, http://sunmagazine.org,
it's not online yet, but subscribe,
you won't regret it,
and the interview this month is amazing.
on "positivity resonance"

which is the best food for health and happiness

it's love
in little chunks

as often as possible,

you'll see,
read it, this interview,
then read it again,

i'll be blogging about it for a couple of weeks


and,
get the print edition , too

no ads
beautiful black and white photos

really

go for it

now