One element of Enlightenment... Forgiveness as Being Present

Enlightenment 

As the First Stage of Forgiveness

Take something that someone did “wrong” to you.

Choose two chairs.

This is the game, to go back and forth between two VASTLY DIFFERENT chairs.

THE SUFFERING CHAIR.

THE BEING PRESENT CHAIR.

Here’s the game..

Enlightenment as Forgiveness Game #1:

Think of a minor “crime” someone has committed.

They’ve said something you don’t like.

They’ve supposedly insulted you.

They didn’t return a call.

Didn’t treat you with respect.

On, and on.

Not major.

Not breaking any laws.

Just the normal troubles of living around other humans with their busy lives, and selfish ways, and habits and ongoing sleep.

Oh, well.

They did something.

You decided to get tweaked by it.

The game requires two chairs.

Remember the meta-concept: Learning is the noticing of a difference that makes a difference.

This form of “forgiveness” is about that. Noticing a HUGE difference: Words in your head that you believe to be “true.”

Vs. Being Present

This form of forgiveness is not about “being good.”

It’s about the stark miracle of time: the past is over. Words in our head don’t change it or “fix” the other person.

The game consists hugely of discovering just WHAT the words in our head do to us.

So here goes.

Enlightenment as Forgiveness Game #1: 

The Suffering/ Words in your head chair

vs.

The Being Present/ what’s happening in Reality Chair

1. Sit in the chair we’ll call SUFFERING

In this chair listen to the words in your head that justify your suffering.

Actually make these inner words, louder.

Maybe even mutter/ whine them aloud.

And believe them.

These words are almost always somewhat of a broken record. These words are almost almost always an inner chant over and over about how “the bad person” did such and such  a wrong/ hurt/ unkindness/ mean deal. Over and over: How it’s not fair, or mean, or selfish or something. How could they? They are so….

Anyway, sit in the chair and go over and over the words.

But not too long. Let’s not be masochistic. A couple of minutes is enough.

And get honest:

Feel as sensation in your body, what happens to your body when you go over and over these words and believe them

Feel as emotions (maybe even write them down) that come up when you are in the “Words in Your Head” chair

Perhaps even slunk down and shrink a bit to accentuate what is happening to your whole spirit when you sit in the chair that is suffering/ words in your head/ believing the words in your head.

Get really clear what happens here.

Now

Shift.

2. To a chair we’ll call: BEING PRESENT

In this chair, look at the world around you.

Notice your breathing. Your breathing in and your breathing out.

Notice your arms and your legs in the moment.

Notice gravity.

Have a smile on your face and place that smile about something you are seeing or hearing or sensing or breathing, in the moment.

Hang out in the present.

Have ZERO OF THE EARLIER WORDS IN YOUR HEAD

Just be present.

Like a dog, or tiger or river otter.

Being alive and aware in the world of now.

Feel what this is like.

Feel what your body feels like.

Feel what the emotions are in you.

Take the shape of your spirit over here.

This can be quite profound.

And…

the goal isn’t instant freedom.

It’s realization of the huge differences that being in the word in your head and being present can create.

So, to increase your learning, and your freedom from this ancient and awful habit—- go back and forth, words in the head chair/ being present chair, back and forth, back and forth, to accentuate the differences and really LEARN what happens.

This seems “hard” when you start to feel the freedom. And do it anyway: go back to the SUFFERING CHAIR.

Start up the words again.

Experience that world.

And shift. (Learning is about noticing differences that make a difference).

go the BEING PRESENT CHAIR

Hang out there.

One more time:

The SUFFERING CHAIR

and

the BEING PRESENT CHAIR

And then smile, stand and take a walk.

Notice your feet touching the ground as you walk. Notice when you mind wants to talk in a way that causes suffering. Notice when you are present and enjoying the world as it is just now.

There is not the “right” way to be.

And most of us would rather be happy.

And, the choice to suffer is always one of our options.

Hmmm.

Keep walking.

Keep aware of those feet and that sky and your breathing.

What’s that like, to be you, or this planet right now?

To be experiencing your experience in the moment, in all moments, as if everything is “meditation,” that’s one way to enjoy the possibility of “enlightenment.”

So, your choice: enjoy it if you want to.

Cheers

Chris

Transforming bitterness into love: Forgiveness as Realization

Once when it was cold, and I was all alone and bitter and in despair, I got myself a pen and a notebook.

Time to write my way out of this suffering.

Judge your neighbor.
Write it down.
Ask four Questions.
Turn it around.

The happiest person I'd ever met suggested that as a way out of suffering.

I was suffering. The girlfriend of 7 years had left me for Tom.

Not fair, poor me, sad bitter and so on.

Being bitter, thinking bitter thoughts, complaining, get others to agree with me, hadn't done the trick.

So, Judge my ex gal:

"She should not have left me."

Of course not. He was good looking and smart and charming and had an English accent to seem even more charming and smart and he drank coffee and she worked in a coffee shop.

We'd met, this gal an I, when she was in Berkeley, getting her degree in Landscape architecture. We talked design, gardens, roamed Berkeley together, feel in love, had the usual fun of that, drank coffee.

She finished her degree and we visualized the perfect cottage in Sonoma, after scoping out about six towns in the country. We wanted to grow. We wanted out of Berkeley. We found Sonoma, with it's 10,000 population, and nine acre plaza and only an hour from the bay area.

And we "manifested" the white cottage, on land, with oak trees on one side, a meadow in front, a creek on the side, only seasonal, but still, 4 months of gurgle gurgle is pretty grand. And not visualized, but cool, a quarter mile driveway lined with walnut trees and olive trees.

Heaven, and we gardened, heaven and a strange thing happened in paradise.

We fought.
Ah, what did we argue about?
Who knows?

And here, let me clue you in to the generic argument:

Person A:  "I'm right and you're wrong."

Person B:  "No. You have it backwards, I'm right and you're wrong."

Person A: "No. You have it backwards, I'm right and you're wrong."

forever and eve, louder and louder with the context hardly mattering and EVER so important.

Anyway, we argued, and then at the end I DO know what we argue about.

I was right and she was wrong to be spending so much time with Tom.

Here's a hint, on how to make jealousy a self-fulfilling prophecy: spend a lot of time hassling the person for liking someone else.

So we argue and the choice for her got clearer and clearer:
Stick around me and be argued with that she's wrong.

Hang around and be charmed by a man with an English accent who thinks she's the brightest rose in the morning dew.

And so she chose.

And I'm alone.

And I have my paper and pen, and it's time to write my way out of suffering.

MAYBE.

Let's see.

Judge the one you are blaming from your suffering: And write it down.

"She should love me more."

Ask four questions.

One:
IS IT TRUE?

Hell yeah. I'm suffering. She should love me more and stick around. ( Ha! Selfish malarky, but the answers have to be honest)

Two:
CAN I ABSOLUTELY KNOW THAT IT'S TRUE?
As, in the Universe needs this to function. As in, I can be absolutely certain that for her life and my life and blah blah blah, she should "love me more," whatever that means.

And the answer, sigh, is no.

Hell no.

Which means, darn, the statement, "She should love me more," is a thought, and opinion, and like most thoughts and opinions, is not true.

Dang.

Question Three:
HOW DO I REACT WHEN I BELIEVE THE THOUGHT/ STORY/ OPINION/ BELEIF?

Wow. Well, that's pretty clear. Miserable. Sad. Angry. Bitter. Betrayed. Poor me. Victim.
On and on.

And that's the kicker:  It's the thought setting me up for all this. Not her.

How do I know?

Question Four:
WHO AND HOW AM I WHEN I EITHER DON'T HAVE THE THOUGHT IN MY HEAD/ HEART, OR DON'T BELIEVE IT WHEN IT COMES AROUND?

And, I'm just me, here now. Or me, there then, in a garden, in a beautiful town, alive, seeing the skies and the trees and without the thought:  no suffering.

Can it be that easy?

Maybe.

But wait, there's more:
Judge your neighbor.
Write it down.
Ask four questions.
Turn it around.


The turn around is to eat your own medicine,
You should listen to me more becomes:
I should listen to YOU more.
I should listen to ME more.

You should appreciate me more, becomes
I should appreciate YOU more
I should appreciate ME more.

So, with Tom's new gal, my new X:

"She should love me more,"
Becomes
I should love HER more.
I should love ME more.

Yeah, okay. I write that, think that , and then ZAP.

I REALIZE THAT.

 I still do love her, and most of my suffering had been from stopping that love, and when I do the turn around and "love her more," what do I want:

I want her to be happy.

And she is happy.
With Tom.

Great. Loving her more means wanting her to have what she wants.

She wants Tom.
I can love her and be happy she has what she wants.

This isn't theory. This is almost teary,
teary eyed relief and how good the world has suddenly become: someone I love is getting what they want.

And loving me more?

Ah, it means doing the work, the writing down, the questions the turn around on the next thoughts that come up once I let her go, as if I had a choice:

"I won't ever find anyone as great as her."

I did that work.
What happened is another story, a sweet story, but let's just say this work, the work of judge your neighbor, write it down, ask for questions, turn it around, turned my life around.

You have any suffering?

Give it a try.

A pen. Some paper. Looking within. You might find freedom, too.

Good luck.
Bon adventure.

Pseudo Wisdom on a Wednesday: Love What Is..... or SUFFER

A young friend of mine was recently murdered.

My favorite moment with him, well second favorite to a bike ride we took together, was hearing him give a talk on how he'd used his time in prison to seek and find spiritual wisdom.

One of his key sharings was the "7 Page Project," wherein you took seven pieces of paper ( the number that could be mailed in an envelope with one stamp) and wrote your beliefs, and learnings down and send them to someone.

In honor of him, I'm going to journal for seven pages ( handwriting is the only way to really get close to your soul in writing) each Wednesday, and then type it into this blog.

I'll also print up this typed version and mail it off to his mother, who can might want to friend on facebook, Denise Roussell.

....
And here, in honor of Cory Roussell and today's gift to Denise and myself and all of life, and especially anyone reading this, is today's seven pages....


Here's the honey: Life is Good.

Yesterday I heard that my second grand daughter had been born just before midnight the day before, at the very tail end of November 3, 2014. I'd been hoping she would be born then, since that was the birthday of an amazing woman, Marlie Wesner, now Marlie Collins, who had been my girlfriend for 8 years in Sonoma, California.  ( Not Sedona, Arizona. Think grapes, not vortex).

Marlie was a wonder of simplicity and love of life and acute connection with simple physical pleasure. My son, who knew her fairly well, said she was the kind of person who should be riding a unicorn. She and I spend night after night sleeping under the stars, in town, but either at a garden we were creating or on our deck. We helped create one huge and beautiful garden, and one large and beautiful garden. I hear she's still gardening, and yoga-ing to life's great delight.

She was a gift, and I feel I contributed her way and then it was life to part paths.

Life is good. When the love is here, and we can share the same cottage and garden and bed, that is good.

When it is time for love to take another form, that is good.

Unless I want to suffer, then I could have begrudged the ending, but I didn't. She didn't. Life moved on.

Gardening teaches this: plants spring from little seeds, get huge, give great gifts, reach their end, die, become food for the compost.

We were both content, and even more in love in a certain way was we spent five months still together and knowing we were parting.

And I was happy that my grand daughter would probably have this birthday, for on the day of November 3 this was up in the air.

And during this up in the air time, I called my sister to tell her of the birth on the way. That part went well.

But when I told her I was excited that this girl ( they knew it was a girl) would be born on Marlie's birthday, my sister reverted to being my sister. When I told her I'd really loved Marlie, and hoped that child would share some of her amazing qualities, she pushed back with why wasn't I still with Marlie is it had been so good.

And when I began to explain the reasons that Marlie and I found for an agreeable and loving separation, she told me they were stupid.

Ah, here's when I lost my understanding of how to be happy.

Instead of listening to her ideas and reasons and feelings about this, I took this as an insult and hung up.

Poor Sis. People hang up on her all the time, since she has a firm habit of telling people they are stupid and wrong and expecting them to be grateful for the insight.

And I could have been present to my sting, and not taken it personally, and it would just have been her being the way she can't help being

But I blew it.

I hung up.

I believed in my story, that she shouldn't call my reasons stupid, instead of the reality that she had.

And so, I hung up and closed things down.

Now, sticking around, I might have found out what was going well and what was not going well in her 35 year marriage, but I didn't.

I chose to disagree with a disagreeable sister, and hence, fighting fire with fire, closed off a chance for something new and interesting to happen.

My loss.

The price I failed to pay to stay in happiness and "life is good," is this price:  Wake up to NOW and when in pain, look within and discover where I am fighting with "What Is," which is another name for Reality.

The secret to ongoing contentment:  "Loving What Is."

My favorite spiritual teacher, Adyashanti, defines enlightenment as "Loving What Is."

My favorite enlightened being calls herself Byron Katie, and does not call herself enlightened, that's a story, nor a teacher, since it's about un-learning rather than learning ( at least in the spiritual realm.... in movement, about which maybe I'll write next Wednesday, learning is real, but not book learning, the kind of learning that a child discovers when going from not being able to crawl, to being able to crawl)

She called her first book, "Loving What Is."

Not as a belief of hers, but as the purest statement of how she found life had to be lived for her to end, completely the immense amount of suffering she was undergoing as a chain smoking obese ranting-at-her-family alcoholic.

Like all of us, she was
In rage and suffering.... when she believed her thoughts.

At Peace,
when she gave up trying to demand that Reality be what her thoughts wanted it to be.

And that's the easy/ hard/ obscure/ obvious route for us all: Let go of our argument with Reality.
Then life is good and we are happy.

And so it was with me, on November 3.
My suffering on top of my sister's suffering. She told me I was wrong for ending a relationship. I told her... by hanging up... that she was wrong for telling me that I was wrong.

And so it goes.

And sometimes we are lucky.
I have another sister who pointed out to me that I seemed to be caught up in a story that the critical sister should have been other wise.

That was it!

I woke up.

I'd been trapped in my thinking.

And this seems to be one of the main reasons to be present:

In the present we can wake up to
Am I happy?
Am I suffering?

And then, we can be present to the thoughts that are fueling our unhappiness.

And being present we can feel our bodies, our arms out to the fingertips, and our legs out to the toes, and our spine with the pelvis and our head.

Our breathing.

We are alive.

We can be present.

And sounds, sights, color, light:  we can feel and notice all that, in the present.

So, that's the way we can live: present to our idiocy when we decide to believe our thoughts and suffer.

Present to the aliveness of ourselves now.

Present to the beauty of the world.


And present to this:  what do we want our life to be headed toward.

That's "not the present," but it's the way we want to move, and that's part of the game to: we get to chose, from happiness, from the present of love of life, from the present of knowing what our life feels like right now, what now, do we want our life to become.

And right now, this is happy.

Why?

Because life is good.

Love is

Love is
either unconditional

or

it
isn't love

..
beginning practice:
( that will take you all your life)

find three things you "don't like"
in your partner
or good friend

or the best you can do
for a good friend

and then

figure out how
to love
them

for that,
for the awful thing,

not loving the "good" side,
but the shit side

love
yuk,

but,
you know,
unconditional means....

not accept them

not let them slide

not put up with them


but

love them

...
more tomorrow

Forgiveness, 101

I'm having a delightful interaction with an occasionally cranky person
whom I adore

who is in the throes of
"Can I forgive?"

in that old awful way,
as if forgiveness is wearing a hair shirt,
or swallowing toxic waste
or at the very least
sitting through a bad movie for hours and hours

ah,
and this sweet person was once a heavy duty Christian
and these poor folks
for reasons that are both sad and delightful
have often the hardest time forgiving

( and I did hear this in a church, by a straight ahead
boring believer:
"Not forgiving is like swallowing rat poison
and
hoping the other person will die."

Which is s beginning of the higher level of
forgiving,

but not the end)

And you,
gentle reader,
are
A. going to have to forgive me
for jumping around and packing
so many angles and concepts into a short
poem/ ramble / essay

B. Wake up
and really feel and think your way through
this,
since it's is perhaps the number one source
of human suffering,
this holding on to our woundedness

,,,,,,, Okay
forgiveness

let's just make this the starter ramble and posit three levels



One:
the forgiveness of the righteous,
the believers
the goody goodies

this is on the
holding one's nose
and saying
"Well, you are stinky,
but I will hold my nose,
and so-called forgive you for being
so stinky
because I am so much better than you
and it's so good for my image of
being so much better than you
to say the words,
'I forgive you,'
all the while letting you know
that I am vastly superior to you,
you bad, bad stinky inferior sinner whom I so graciously,
forgive,
so I can look good to myself, and those around me, and get
points in pretend heaven."


Two:
The sliding it off, half ass "acceptance."

Me here Chris Elms could go on some fun
rants about all this
"It's all good,"
Buddhist-ish
"acceptance"

which is better than the stinky cheese clothes pin nose
model,

but is
like
a disconnected feeling,
an

I'm indifferent,

I'm separate

I'm not going to let it get to me.


This has some of the very very true
selfish enlightenment of the above rat poison model

which knows,
sometimes with blinding clarity,
that

when you fight what is already over,
hell,
once you think it through,
you know you're always going to lose

so chill
accept

let it go,  man,
it's all good

(bleeek---- my comment)

and three:
third level forgiveness,

not just giving the other person a break,
though that's a superb start,
but giving them a delighted break
a congratulatory break

really?

delight?

really

this is crazy, this level,
and strange,
because we are so used to being slaves
that freedom feels creepy weird

but this is level three:

thanks and thankfulness
and gratitude for whatever "wrong"
was bestowed on you
by another segment of God

ah, God,
well, hell,
heaven

let's play with God as a burst apart being
and we are all pieces of Her, trying to get
back together,
and whatever "sin"
someone gifted you with,
was a piece of God, trying,
in however an awful, ignorant, or half assed way,
to reconnect with God
as you

So,
it's like this:
in this forgiveness,
you would have paid the bad, bad person
to do whatever they did

why?

you figure it out,
you wouldn't believe me if I told you

and you shouldn't believe me

it's your experience that is
A. your life
B. your nourishment for enlightenment


stay in this experience
and feel your heart's way through this
new world:
forgiveness as delight and you would have paid the
other person to
do
their bad bad "sin"

really,
this is some heavy lifting for the heart

and without it,
sadly,
life is misery

cheers,
chris

....
you do want to be enlightened, don't you?

Ways to treat ourselves, our Children, our Mate

Many people, asked what they feel in their bodies, only report what’s missing.

“I’m don’t feel comfortable.”

“I’m not as relaxed as I want to be.”

“My hip is bothering me.”

“My back hurts.”

The last two remarks were a judgment of what wrong.

The question was not how they feel, but what they feel.

An answer could be: “I feel a tightness in my shoulder.” “I feel my breathing is slow and shallow and mainly in my chest.” “My neck feels slightly pinched, more on the left side than the right.”

God forbid they actually report something that feels good. “I like the warm feeling in my fingers.” “My spine feels up and over my pelvis and is playfully balancing my head.” “My muscles of my leg feel warm and full.”

This is our mind in mediocre mode.

Not on the positive.

Not on the real.

This is a good distinction to remember One: when we are talking to our children.

And Two: when we are talking to our mates.

And Three: when we are talking to ourselves.

The child is making a lot of noise.

Command: “Stop making all that racket.” ( Command plus judgment).

Judgment: “That sounds awful.”

Statement of fact: “Your voice is loud and jumping around a lot.”

Request: “Could you be more gentle and sing with your voice.”

Your mate hasn’t given you enough affection, you feel.

Complaint: “You never give me affection.”

Demand: “Be nicer to me.”

Request: “Would you please say five things you like about me.”

Turn Around : “You look great. Can I give you a hug?” ( Giving what you want to get)

Yourself:

Complaint: “You didn’t get enough done today.”

Judgment: “You never get enough done.”

Statement: “You did this and this. You wish you’d also done this.” Or, “I did this and this. I’d like to have gotten this done, too.”

Kinder statement: “I liked that about doing that. I like that about doing this.”

Connecting: “I think I’ll call Joe and ask what he liked today and tell him what I liked.”

That enough.

Relationship #4: Loving the Leaver

Loving what is seems like the hardest thing
in the world
sometimes

and then,
it's just....
heaven


So... someone leaves you

It was great love
It was great and troubled love
It was troubled and great love
It had great promise
You fell more deeply in love than they did
They found someone else
You were a jerk and drove them crazy
They weren't willing to work it through
You weren't willing to work it through
One or both of you didn't know what to do when it got messy
You had a power struggle that was too much for the other person

There are many scenarios,
and all hurt,
usually when the other person leaves

It can even be petty stuff:
You wanted to end it and didn't have the courage
to pull the plug
and they did before you could

Oh, well.

They are gone
Empty bed
Empty dream

Lots of possibilities in reaction, too:

Anger
Poor me
Denial
Substance use to numb out
Getting busy

And here's a way that's pretty amazing:

Love.

Yeah.
Think about, feel about what loving them exactly
as they are
would be.

They want to be somewhere else.

Loving them means wanting them to have what they want.

Damn, the logic just rolls along,
but it's the heart really that can't do this:

Loving them means loving them being gone
because that's what they want

You can think it's a wrong decision
You can think they should care more about your pain
You can think until you're blue in the face
and they are still gone

They, for good or bad, for smart of idiotic, for whatever reasons
of the heart and head
and their own life path,
have decided what they want is Not You

So, that what love is:
Loving their having what they want,
the big fat empty Not You

and hey,
guess what

just like when someone dies
... they can't hug you anymore
and you can still keep loving them

you can feel the love
write it to them
whatever you want

and wanting them to have what they want,
loving what is

sounds hard

I just did it
It's heaven

It really is

what if you miss a day?

what if you miss a day????

the world won't end....

get back on your horse
and
ride

get back to the clit
and stroke

get back to the talk
and listen

get back to the now
and
aware

awareness out
awareness in

that's a full life

if you miss a day of remembering you are alive
start
over
right
now

yeah

Mira's cure for sadness: reach out and touch Reality

I know a cure for sadness:   

Let your hands touch something that

makes your eyes

smile.

I bet there are a hundred objects close by

that can do that

Look at

beauty's gift to us----

her power is so great she enlivens

the earth, the sky, our

soul

Mira

forgiving Reality

Sometimes, have you noticed,
the world does not understand that
it is "supposed to be" set up to
go our way,
to make things pleasant and easy for us,
at least,
not to annoy and frustrate us

aggh
Reality just has this perverse sense of humor
and "makes" everything go wrong.
and the "going wrong," of course,
is our idea,
but never mind:

people don't call back
the computer doesn't work
the food is terrible
the sleep doesn't come

you know
those days

those "bad days"

and then the game
as always
is to
"get off on every stroke" as they (we)
say in the OneTaste OMing world

which is a bit like Katie"s
"If we argue with Reality, we lose,
but only 100% of the time"

and so,
what to do,
when Reality seems to be arguing with us
and we just want to scream or cry?


Ah, glad you asked:

Judge Reality
Write it Down
Axe 4 Questions
Turn it around
and around and
around

So:
The computer should be working the way it 'tis "supposed" to be working?

1 IS IT TRUE?
Yeah, of course.

2. IS IT ABSOLUTELY TRUE?
Ah, so, no it's not.

3. HOW DO I FEEL AND REACT AND LIVE WHEN I BELIEVE THAT THOUGHT?
Shitty, mad, annoyed, frustrated, tense in breath, distracted in mind, agitated in heart, forgetful in turn on.

4. WHO OR HOW WOULD I BE WITHOUT THE THOUGHT?
Just me.
Just now.
Just breathing and sensing myself.
Present.
At peace.
Free to do the next right thing.


TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND.
The computer should be functioning smoothly.
Nah, the computer should be as it is.
And I could move toward more smooth, and stop waiting for the computer to shape up for my happiness and peace to come around.

And, like that.
This is part 2 of 3.

Cause forgiveness isn't about being good.
It's about getting good and tired of feeling bad by arguing with What Is.

Good.

Forgiveness

Other people do the wrong thing.
We think.

They "hurt" us.
We think.

They "should have "  done this.
Or "shouldn't have" done that.
We think

What's in common with all of these:
"we think."

We have an opinion, and belief about how things should be
or
how we want things to be
or
how our club/ social strata/ class/ race/ clique
believes things "should be"

and when someone doesn't live up to that.

we think they are wrong.
and we tell other people they are wrong.
and sometimes we tell them they are wrong.

and the upside:
we are right
we are right,
they are wrong

the righteous bliss
that goes no where

no where, but focusing on their wrongness
and our rightness
and meanwhile
the world goes on, the sky changes color, the wind blows lightly in the leaves, the sun dapples against the bark,
life happens and we miss it being right

so what?
so that's what forgiveness is:
letting go of being right.
it's a longer story than that,
and that's all we're going to have
for today.

Life on it's own terms

life on it's own terms is
the sweet and easy way to go

and sometimes I forget
and want it on my terms

and lose

it's called suffering

and that suffering is part of life on it's own
terms

and can be examimed

and experienced in the moment

wake up
and / or
turn on

can happen on a dine

nice

happy no matter what

j

just now I am tired because it is 2 am
and
since the bus stopped running

I had to ride a bike home from several miles
away

  and just now
upstairs the neighbor has come home
with a minor herd of friends or lovers
and stomp stomp
and I still have a bit of tai chi to do

and what's not to be happy about
i'm here
I'm alive
can aware on breathing or gravity or ribs or spine
cock
feet
the world is my playground
if awareness is my toy

so what
..... happened
that's what is

and if the noise continues
so be it

with enough tiredness we can all sleep

I'm so wonderful, you're so wonderful, life is good. then we die.

I really like my tag line:
"Life is Yes, and Can get Better and Better and Better"

It's already perfection
you and me
in all our
fucked up ness

in all our imperfection

yes,
yes
in all my imperfection,
if I just ("JUST"!) come
back to the present
I'm sitting, standing, lying, moving
in the middle of
the most amazing miracle of all:
I'm alive,

and alive
and aware
of being alive

that's enough,

if I'm in a bad mood,
there's always a story behind it

the story is never in the present

it's "baggage" of words
trotting along,
hijacking my life

my thoughts aren't me

your thoughts aren't you

the "you're all fucked up" story
we trot out,
drag out,
fling out,
puke out

about ourselves and others is
a
LIE

good old Byron Katie and her first question:
"IS IT TRUE?"

just asking ourselves that
can calm
and bring us back to the glory of being
alive
in the world
without a story

so
today's the Monday of this Monday
of your life

actually, it's Tuesday
and I've already gotten hell
from someone for getting that wrong

oh, well.
life is good

even if I am imperfect and forget that
today is a Monday called Tuesday
and someone gets angry at me about that

and how many "mistakes" can you make
on this Monday/ Tuesday

and how much now can you love
and lust
and turn on
to
as you do?

happy whatever the hell day
it is
Chris

Don't think, realize: All Moments are Equal

Time to get back
to a love poem a day

a love poem
to God
who is
What Is

who is
Now

who is
You

who is
Me

who is Life

who is
Yes

............

I once had a rascally fine teacher,
who said:
Don't think,
realize

He also said:
Time is for beginners,
breath is for finishers





..........
As my own teacher,
I had this realization in Dancing Together:
When I let go of the story that
any moment
is better than any other moment....

whoosh,
I'm free

the bottom falls out
the skies upon

what is embraces me
and I embrace what is

whoopie

If someone rejects you....la, la... how to love life, then

Bill was rejected by Janice who thought he was too eager and Carol who thought he was too intellectual and Diane who thought he was too earthy. This got to him and he started to feel badly about himself.


The hint about the way out:

Other people's ideas of us, are their juice/ karma and right.
An, "oh, well," goes a long way
Semi poem:

if you can love  your cancer,
says Bryon Katie,
you can love me

if you can't love your cancer,
she says,
then the first time I annoy you,
you'll reject me

people like to reject
if they are uncomfortable

getting comfortable with the uncomfortable
is not their game usually

the uncomfortable scares
and the fear seems more real
that looking in to what set up fear,
and the default mode becomes:
stay away from scary areas

and there is
another possibility,
if we are on the route to freedom:
 go to the scary
and see how it's set up inside

this is good in the money world
the relationship world
the God should have done something different (not brought death to....,
for example) world

And hey, Bill can even start with another thing
Byron Katie says:
when someone leaves or rejects you,
you've been spared

you've been spared
being around someone
who doesn't want to be around you

Love and Meditation

last day, supposedly,
of the mindfulness post/ poem
derby

sigh,
I've kind a gotten "into" it

and today:
try some
stop
sit
close eyes
sense your arms and legs
and spine
and (even, if you want) genitals
and breathing

and hang out
there,
not believing thoughts,
nor working with any effort
to keep them abay

and then
go about your day:
looking out
as you sense in

and love,
if you can
when you can
as best you can
how you can,
everything

everything you see outside

everything you sense
inside

that's a whiz bang
end

or not?

who cares

love the light
coming into your eyes
even now
at the half life
we live in
front
of our computers

love
Chris

experiencing the all of it up and down of it, now of it, yet

the times of day:
the day changes
and we use up energy

and can we be aware
of how we either "like"
or "don't like"

our state of energy throughout the day

and if we don't "like" what we are
aware of in our present expereince,

can we come back to "just" experiencing
the experience without a judgment

can we live
without our inner comment on
"how are we doing now"

(compared to what?
is always the good question,

or yesterday's question:
Who and what are we, without our story?

As the day shifts
and our energy shifts
can we keep
"just"
loving what is?



Good.

Day 21: Suffering and separate; or, at one with our experience

Suffering and separate; or, at one with our experience
that's the choice:
Suffering and separate; or, at one with our experience

that's the mindfulness game today:
trace any and all suffering back
to some "war" with reality

some conflict where our thoughts
and feelings are sure that they are "right"
and reality is "Wrong."

Ah, the "wrong" game.
Making ourselves wrong, making others wrong,
making our past wrong, making our health wrong,
making others' behavior wrong

ah, so long we have played the "you are wrong" game
and today:

feel the effect.
soon, we'll run this through the work of Byron Katie,
but for now,
"just"
trace suffering back to a demand that
we be in conflict with reality

And, just to have some nice reading, here's what I woke up early,
and turned the book to in
Adyashanti's wonderful, all inclusive book:
Falling into Grace
(If want to purchase,
here's one way:


Here's the quote:
"One of the curious reasons why ego always
brings us back to suffering,
is that our ego has to be in some
resistance to what is.

Otherwise our sense of separation begins to dissolve,
we move from our head into our heart,
and go from a place where we think we know
to a very soft space in the heart

From the egoic point of view
it's vital we remain in conflict to some extent,
and that's why,
when we look at the world around us,
we see so much conflict among human beings"



good, eh?

and don't believe it,
experience:
today,
(for the rest of our lives):
all suffering is a demand
of the ego,
that we are obeying,
for separation and conflict with What Is

Happiness 202: Life is Yes, and can get better and better

It's a good day yes
and then
fine
what's not to be happy about?

It's a "bad" day
and what a minute..
slow down,
what's going on right now

this now now
of your so called "bad" day

sense it,
in your body:

what is
now
yeah yeah
the now now
now
what is going on,
as sensation
in the moment

and what is
now
going on as your feeling?

can you take your feeling as emotion
e-motion (which way does it want to send, take, lead you?)
and feeling
as sensation

and add on this:
I/ me/ the one inside all the dancing
am aware
of those feelings/ sensations

we'll get to this later
on mindfulness in emotion
and mindfulness in sensation
and most of all
mindfulness as inquiry into "thoughts"

that's all coming in the thirty days,
and today we just add on light

but I was in the mood to write two blog posts
today,
to get the number of the posts (506)matching that today's posting
will be day 6 in the mindfulness derby)

so this is an extra

and a good idea
to put into action if
you can:

life is yes
even to your "unhappiness"

and the "yes" is noticing,
watching
experiencing
being open to
accepting
loving

think of what your "unhappiness"
is up to
as a child
your child
that you would and could
love to help comfort love
and
so
on

so all the yeses pile up
and life can get even better

how?
think of something wonderful
you want to do
or feel
or think
or say

next

and do
feel
think
or say

it


Good.