All the Love and Sex before Dinner essay poems will be piling up daily at http://loveandsexbeforedinner.blogspot.com as well as here for the first 40 days
As we meander through these essays,
these daily chapters unfolding,
we will explore this one:
truth as the best foreplay
and sometimes
touch is the way to access that truth
and sometimes touch is the only
way
we can really remember how remarkable
connection is
one human
to another
and so today's suggestion is
to have
a ten minute naked make out first
some days talk before the sex
and some days have the sex before the talk
always have both
and this is the touch/ sex practice I recommend most
the ten minute
naked make out
it's two way
it gives a lot of your body a chance
to connect with
feel
move with
caress
be caressed by
the other body
let's play it this way:
mindfulness
is the undercurrent
how much awareness can you have
as you kiss
and touch
and caress
and get caress
and let the legs play
and here's the catch:
set a timer
when it's over,
stop
thank each other
get out of the bed
get dressed
go talk
talk sitting up
talk in your clothes
talk in another room
maybe hold hands while you talk
touch is good
there are many subtleties to this practice
but for now
naked
timer
stay present
stop when the ten minutes is up
you can do it again at the end of the day
with no timer and the falling into more sex that
we are so used to,
and
and
and
this is sex before dinner
this is a nourishment
that you are going to give yourselves every day
don't make it such a big deal
that you don't want to
keep it going
keep it up
keep it kissing along
day after
day
after
day
....
you begin to get the idea.
this might be very good for your relationship,
right?
cheers
Chris
Let's say you hate your mate
and
you have this commitment:
Sex Every Day
it can be OMing
it can be straight ahead sex sex
it can be various oral delights
but you have the commitment:
sex every day
and you hate the mate
that rhymes
you hate the mate
you hate your mate
which means: you hate yourself
which means: it's time to talk
which means: big deal
you've got a deeper commitment,
unless you are an asshole, and that's to
your relationship
as a spiritual practice
which means,
you've got a commitment
to stay connected no matter what
which means
you're going to have to talk
yuk
you're going to have to talk
about what you hate about each other
(which means what you hate about yourself)
and so here's the deal
it's not so hard
it takes about half an hour
it takes a timer
you've already go a timer
because you OM, and that's for 15 minutes
this time the timer is timing out
3 minute chunks
your mate ( whom you hate)
talks
for 3 minutes to
you ( whom you hate)
you listen, no interrupt,
no thinking what to reply
just listening
and following breathing
and connecting to gravity
and limbically connecting to their inner feelings
good
you listen,
they talk
the timer goes off
turn it around
take another turn,
have some fun,
talk and they listen,
be present while you talk
notice them while you talk
don't be the usual jerk all caught up in
your words
while you (whom you hate)
talk to them
(whom you hate)
so be it.
do that for 30 minutes,
then you'll probably love each other again,
and it's time for sex
Sex every Day
and if you don't love each other,
so what,
you know you've got a friend
A. who will listen
B. who is committed to staying connected
C. whom you can have sex with, no matter what the emotional nonsense
going on
why link sex only to feeling good
that's so silly
time to grow up
and.....
have
.....
Sex Every Day
good news for a Friday
