Waiting to Come, coming together

The ten minutes sex before dinner
as much as possible
should never end in climax

that's why the ten minute
naked make out
is so valuable

both are giving
both are getting

it's not genitally predominant

it's oral

it's tactile

go do it

Slow, Connect, Discover/ back to the 10 Minute makeup

Slow, Connect, Discover

I help people to
SLOW down
and
CONNECT deeply to themselves
so that they can

DISCOVER

Ease, grace, youthfulness, delight and pleasure

in
MOVEMENT and
LIFE


And you gentle reader
in your ten minute make out

this is your job

SLOW down the kissing
and the touching
and even the breathing

perhaps say what you are feeling as sensation
perhaps go even slower than you think is slow

and
pay attention to how the
CONNECTING
is happening

moment by moment

and in each moment see what you can
DISCOVER

about a new direction, pressure, stopping, starting, shifting

that would make
your make out

more
pleasurable, graceful, delightful, youthful

you know

just plain old

divine

cheers,
chris

the animial/ beast/ woman/ child/ native/ weed inside of us

you do not have to be good

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE GOOD

You do not have to walk a hundred miles
on your knees
across the desert
repenting

You only have to let the soft
warm
animal
in you
love what is loves.

YOU ONLY HAVE TO LET THE
SOFT WARM
ANIMAL
IN YOU
LOVE WHAT IT LOVES

From the first part of Mary Oliver's wild geese poem.
See it all down, down down around the bottom part of the front
page of my mother site,
of the name BecomeMoreAmazing.com

and there's more
to the poem
and to
the liberations

because
we have a wild filthy animal
and that's got to be free
to love and go wild and get dirty

and we have a lazy and silly animal
and that's got to be allowed to nap forever some days,
and go around laughing it its own and others' shadows,
or eyebrows, or tonuges
or words

and pretentions

the soft
the wild
the silly
animal just is what it is

shitting in the forest
peeing in the flower beds
farting here
belching there

fucking in the meadow on the beach on the trailhead
in the thicket, the thinet, the middet
fucking and hugging
and falling down
naked, and rubbing flesh to flesh all
night
just
for the mammalian YES of it

we have a brain
ah,
yes,
that too, the animal that can think
we can think for the pure joy
of it
and best smartest kindest
to think to improve the lot
of any messes we or our fellow forgetters
get into

the soft warm wild funky filthy smart dumb crazy brilliant
animal
in us

the wild child
the restless native without property boundaries,
who owns the earth and the rivers because no one
owns them
the child that can pee wherever it wants to pee
the animal who love making is
dictated by the lunging yes
that is
always
always
always there

and when we wake up to
it

life
is full

and then
the clock strikes twelves or two or six and we think
the slave has to be who we are

it doesn't

the animal can tone it in
a bit
play the civilized game

and it's only a game

and there's a deeper game
without a name
without words

a rolling in the mud, hugging the wrong person,
loving everyone game

gasp,
is today the right day to play it?

is shall we wait,
till the ducks and dead and stuffed and frozen
and all in a line?

a rhetorical question if I ever saw one.


ha!

What does love have to do with it?

SEX AND LOVE
What does love have to do with it?

So sings Tina Turner, and what is she wailing about to such charged and thrilling effect? She is saying, perhaps, that one of life’s possibilities is to just get down, and naked and happy, and “ball” away, and let the animal in your be deeply satisfied.

Not just the warmth of flesh to flesh and the brain and body delight of tongue to tongue and the relief of simple minded, or almost no minded, pleasure in the moment, but the discharge of overloaded and worried and hurried and unfocused nervous systems, coming together to focus on the pleasure of being alive.
Zippie, zowie, eh?


This hints toward that, me thinks, this many people’s favorite poem by Mary Oliver:

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

This poem is, to my ears and heart, a love song to reality. All she needs is some river otters, and tiger cubs and dolphins and children rolling in the mud. And lovers.
 
This wild warm flesh in us knows how to love

And wants to be and know and live what it knows.

And it is not a thing to rush, and not a thing to force into action with the tom toms of loud music, or the crashing of ecstatic drugs, or the thrill of hidden secretive adulterous “affairs.”

Love, sex, the warm flesh, they know how to met under the sheets and on the meadow, and even, hints of future pleasures, in a slow sweet dance either indoors or out, but it is the natural that leads to the super natural. Supernatural is the norm when we slow into the reality of how amazing life has made the possibilities of joining in the magic and only real NOW.

So, what the heck am I saying?

Read those sentences again. They aren’t meant to be textbook linear. This is not a book for the left brain, nor for the right, nor for the wrong, nor for the correct.

This is a working manual of liberation, and at any moment, even this darn sweet one, Right Now, we can waken to the bliss and sweetness of human/ beyond human existence on this planet, this blue water green plant brown mud, grey cloud, gold leaf, red blood, purple mountain majesty Earth.

And what is our, my, your answer so far to the Tina Turner taunt: What does love have to do with it?

Perhaps, letting the mind slip into old categories, the above ramble seems to imply: love isn’t part of the deal. It’s the geese and the soft warm flesh and the mud river otter and the happy frolicking puppy inside us that sex is satisfying, and what does love have to do with that?

And good old left brain, either/ or land says, nothing. Woopie, just “go for it,” and no brainer is happiness.

And I say: no brainer is non life because you and I can’t stand talk walk crawl live a second without our brain, so in a way (and this will be a whole other chapter), the common and to my mind (and perhaps mine alone) depraved use of the slogan “no brainer,” shows A., the diminished brain of the speaker of this cliché ( add 24/7, and my plate is full, and you’ve got a “full plate” of nonsense behind which to hide from reality), B, how out of touch our present society is with the fundamental characteristic of humanity: our ability to use our brains to learn.

Unfortunately, we can also use our brains to wire ourselves deeper into our ruts, including our clichés, and what does love have to do with THAT?

Everything.

Because love can only be fresh.

To make love to another is to make something out of the given materials, but to lift up to another level, to make as if the make a house or a pair of pants or a shirt or a deck or a garden.

To make love is to construct something beautiful between two people and then the very sweet questions comes round to where it should be: what does sex have to do with it?

Because a mother can make love with her baby bringing it to her nipple, or helping her child up from a fall and smiling and touching the hurt knee and being in sympathy and delight with the child for moving forward enough in their adventure to have a “mistake.” (There are “throw away” phrases as we go along here, that could be an entire essay. Maybe they will be by the time the book/ manual is finished.)

And two people can make love by sitting down and speaking slowly and clearly, looking in each other’s eyes and hearing their own voice and enjoying their own and the other person’s breathing and feeling gratitude for the listening and gratitude for the discovery of what they are saying in this very moment.

And in this very moment, I can ask again, and you can read and hear and perhaps think about this: what does Sex have to do with making love?

Cover up the rest.

Rest the word reader in you.

Take a walk short enough so you don’t do chores and get distracted and long enough so the tall and foot worthy animal in you and the breather in the world of motion can come back to the center of your understanding of who you are. And while you walk in this way, feeling your feet, and feeling your breathing, and delighting in the sounds and sights of the swish of Now, have somewhere in their the wonderment: what does sex have to do with it?

Really: short walk. Plan and succeed to come back to this thought river ramble gift exploration.
Go.

Okay, I walked and my legs were alive.

Do you ever sense your entire leg, from toes, all five toes, up to your hip joint, and then add on the other leg, all five of its toes and all of the whole big amazingness of it up to that hip joint?

Legs are a big part of the real estate of the body. Humans got upright and ran down game, and made the game of life a grand adventure, and when sex gets involved we go below the navel and awaken to the big amazing motion of life.

And that, of course is only part of the answer, if there is any answer.

Sex is motion.

Sex is interaction.

Sex is the lure into the present.

All that helps love: there is another person.

That person is fine wonderful amazing, yes, thank you, thank you.

That person is “in it” with us, back and forth, we have something to say, they have something to say.

Life is good.

In the present, they are what they are. They don’t have to be something tomorrow. They don’t have to have been better yesterday. They are filling up our now with the delight of their now and our now wowing along together.

If we are lucky, we don’t quite know what we are doing, or how it’s going to shift and play and change.

And love is play. Discovery: who are you.

And sex is play. Discovery: who are you. Who am I?


And love and sex are discovery: who are we? What can this we make together?

Sometimes it can make a baby.

Sometimes it can make love, or make a bigger brighter fresher more amazing love.

And isn’t that fine?


The above is the third chapter in a book, Backs, Necks, Sex and Brains, that should be done by March of next year. If you perhaps want each chapter as it rolls out, let me know, and perhaps we can make an arrangement to "buy forward" the book in it's unfolding.

The alternative to suffering--- Rumi's take

Rumi:
plus moaa


The wonder of the water
rushing over the rock in the
stream
justifies existence.

the swish of a horse's tail
and
again I am stunned by the grandeur of the
Unseen One
that governs all Existence.

I resist looking at my palms sometimes
Have you ever gotten breathless before
a beautiful face----
I see you there sometimes
my dear

there is a wonderful problem waiting
for you
that God and I share:

how to keep from fainting when we see
each
other

In deed eo:

How does God keep from fainting all
day
when She sees Herself again
and again
and
again

Light is moving like a stream,
and a myriad of celestial beings
applaud.



Rumi,
via Daniel Ladinsky
via
me
via
you

look at it
smile
close your eyes
sensing your beingness
and
then write
your version:

light streams
just now
from your beauty to mine

it dazzles
and what is
IT?

you are it
I am IT
it is IT

all the explanations crumbe
when we see that the mirror
is bursting with love
and laughter


good

new website:
mystical
practical enlightenment
as the cure
for the divorce blues thing
to transform it,
inta:
da da

The Joy of Divorce:

TheJoyOfDivorce.info

'cause even divorced
we can
faint with love
and joy at the thought of
each
other

what a sweet little piece of the stream's
dance to the ocean
that was

and if we forget the sweetness,
time to remember, time to remember,
yes
what else is time for,
but to
re
member
our Selves
as
pieces of God
staring at other
pieces of God

ha,
ha

don't believe any of the above

and
if
you
wish

experience as much of it,
as you can
stand

with or without
fainting

ciao for Now,
chris

Cancer and Love

I had a long post a ways back
on food,
and emotions,
and getting outside
and this and that
for Cancer.

I highly, highly recommend buy my book
and starting movement lessons in the Anat Baniel Method
or the Feldenkrais Method.

Without newness
without novely,
the whole soul really doesn't have a reason to live.

These lessons unleash the new
and the now
and a sense of wonder and discovery
and help life get fresh again,
along with helping anyone,
anyone no matter how clunky or
how "advanced" they are in their body,
to improve and feel more ease and pleasure
and awareness in their embodied self.

And then there's love.
Love making.
Making more love room
in your life.

Making more love.

Three steps.

1. UNDO ALL RESENTMENTS AND GRUDGES.
ALL OF THEM.
Get to the Work of Byron Katie
(see thework.com, for all you need to do
IT ALL,
though the book title is a good reminder
of how far this can lead




No matter how big
nor how petty your complaints
about anyone
and EVERYONE
in your life,
get them released via this work,

or any other way you know.




2.  Make more love
by listening more.
EVERY DAY
SET ASIDE 30 MINUTES.
Get a timer.
You talk for five minutes, your partner doesn't interrupt.
When their turn comes, they don't comment on
nor talk about what you said.
They explore what means a lot for them.
Back and forth, 3 times each, of 5 minutes.

3/ Then make love.
Sex.
No sex, that's not important.

Get naked.
Touch.

Touch a lot.

Bathe in this wonder of being human.

Each day,
after talking with real listening.

Real listening:
no interrupting,
eye contact,
try not to even be "thinking" inside of your
responses to what the other said.

Just listen.
Follow breathing.
Be aware of yourself and the other as alive.

Caring this over into making love
the clothes off,
lots of touch,
who knows what's going to happen
way.

Each day.

Your soul needs
food.

If you combine those three with non habitual movement,
the joy juice in life will go way
up.

Try it
and love your life more.

And here's  books on food:

Nourishing Traditions




Green Smoothie Revolution
Green for Life

Raw 50, Carol Alt at 50 not sick for 14 years, beautiful and raw










Here's her starter book:
Eating in the Raw


This on great on fermented foods
and how fun, yummy and vital they can be:










This on how a whole family transformed:
one losing gobs of weight,
one stopping asthma
one stopping diabetes
one ending heart ahrhythmica
(and later they discovered they need to add green smoothies to raw,
Carol adds raw meat and dairy,
also important for super super top notch health,
in my opinion,
and here's.....
Raw Family



And one more,
if I had cancer, I'd closely follow the recommendations for my blood type,
and especially my sub geno type,
laid out in this book:
Diet and Genotype;







And this on relationship, and making more money, essentially by love and giving:
The Go Giver

the big C: great news----Change or Die ---Feeling, Finding, F...ing, Feeding, Frolicking, Fun, Feldenkrais and Waking Up

If you have cancer you can keep doing
what you always did,
and
die

or you can change.

I am, in this essay going to offer a bunch of possibilities for
change,
and every single one of them would mean a more wonderful
life for you, and you, and you,
whoever and wherever you are,
with or without cancer.

The most important change is
Finding.
Finding your true self.

This means waking up, because if we aren't in the moment,
and aware of what we are doing, thinking, feeling and being in
that moment,
then we are being pulled pushed or mashed along by our
programming.

It's strangely obvious,
so obvious that it's like the fish unable to discover water,
but here it is:
if the real "I" isn't home,
then the programming has to be running the show.

And the real "I" isn't the thinker,
though real thinking is an attribute of the real "I,"
and real thinking has almost nothing to do with the chatter
in our heads we call thinking.

So,
Finding out
Feeling into
the real you.

Later I'll recommend buying my book.

For now,
see what "being present" feels like for you?
Look at the next couple of sentences, then get up from the computer
and walk around
and see if you can have as little of the "chatter" inside your
head
as possible,
and just look and listen and feel your feet touching the ground
or floor,
and follow your breathing.

See if the sweet and amazing Being inside of you
can be your central experience as you walk a bit.

Okay, up from the computer:
take a walking of Being in the Moment.

Now

.......

Okay, so I walked around. You walked around.
Sometimes we were present,
sometimes not.

When we were, that was the real us.
When we weren't, all sorts of wishes, worries, wants,
traditional thoughts, obsessions, hungers etc came up.

Oh, well.

Take lots of walks.

In as beautiful of places that you can find.
As close to where you live as possible, so that we can avoid
the car habit a bit.

Finding,
Feeling.

What do you feel throughout the day?

If you are happy, this is a sign you are close to or at who you really are?

Dis-ease has a hard time sticking around happiness,
so being happy is healthy as all get out.

And if you have unhappy moments,
like unhappy you have cancer,
feel those feelings.

Feel how that unhappiness is something you
have felt
with slightly or hugely different reasons,
many, many times.

Feel the "itness" of that unhappiness.
Feel the real sensations in chest and belly and breathing and eyes.
Wherever it takes place for you.

Then notice that the sensation of any unhappiness
is wordless.
It's just sensation.
Notice that the words almost always make you feel
bad
and aren't in the present,
they are auditory hallucinations in your head.

This is what people call "thoughts," but it's more like
unhappiness programming.

What do do about the unhappiness programming?

Do the Work of Byron Katie
(if you are away from this link,
just remember: TheWork.com )

Her website will show you how.
I have written many essays on here work, and clicking on the label at the bottom
will bring them up.

Also, my book, has a whole systematic build up and working through
of her method.
Book can be bought to the right,
and has 108 ways of being more happily thrilled to be alive.

It would be good for cancer or wanting to have a more full
and happy and awake life, or both.

And the Katie work leads to something crucial in
any
dis-ease.

Forgiveness.

We could, if we don't beat ourselves up about it,
look at "dis-ease" is a form of suicide.

And we could look at suicide is a form of anger turned against ourselves.

And then we can figure out whom out there we are angry at.
It can be petty, and have been held onto forever and ever,
or some major "hurt," that is festering away in us.



If we admit our angers toward all the people we were ever angry at,
and do the work
The Work of Byron Katie

to dissolve that anger,
then the dis-ease will be bathed in ease,
and again, dis-ease tends to dissolve in ease.

........

Feeding.
Ah, sigh, this is a big one.

Give up some things, at least for a while:

Give up: white carbohydrates: ie. sugar and flour, all pasta bread and so on

Give up: non food: anything with a list of ingredients, any chemicals, sugars, fructose, corn syrup, all that crap.
give it up.

Give up: All grains, even whole except millet, buckwheat, quinoa and amaranth.

Give up:  all meats and egg not raised on pasture. "Free range" in poultry can mean hanging out in a lot of dirt.

Give up: most eating out, unless you are willing to pay for good real organic grass fed food. Otherwise the restaurant has the incentive to get you cancer filled low cost corn and pesticide filled yuk.

Okay, give up those:

Add on: lots of high quality water

Green smoothies at least 2 quarts a day.


Raw food, at least one meal a day,
and all snacks.

Raw protein, from animals: raw meat and fish, and butter.

Some do well with raw dairy.
Some not.
Or some do well with raw dairy if it's fermented as in keffir and yogurt.

Food is big, and lots of people don't like to change.
And who knows: stopping bread etc seems preferable to chemo
but I'm not an expert
though I'm pretty healthy.

I'd recommend these three books to have some new ways to think
feel and act
about eating

Carol Alt Raw Fifty: lots of testimonials of people who undone cancer, as well as other stuff











Sally Fallon:  Nourishing Traditions, whether raw or not, get this book, amazing information from teh discoveries of Weston Price, a dentist who in the 1930's went looking for the healthiest people in the world









Victoria Boutenko, Green Smoothie Revolution: read it, and start green smoothies, actually start today, just add fruit, organic, and greens organic and make something that tastes good to you. Add soaked sunflower seeds, soaked almonds, soak pumpkin seeds for fat and protein

I showed this above, it's worth buying two,
and maybe add this:

Okay, there's more to curing cancer:
The Felkenkrais stuff
and the Anat Baniel stuff:
this is a long discussion and deserves its own
posting,
but these movements,
in group or private lessons will:
balance the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems
produce calmness and helping breathing and sleep
lift depression and encourage enthusiasm for life
create more self love
create inner ease, both physical and mental
teaching slowing down
help people to be present
reinforce self loving
return to a youthful discovery and excitement about life
plenty more

find an Awareness Through Movement class with a Feldenkrais practitioner
or
a Transformational Movement class with an Anat Baniel method Practitioner,
and read
Anat's book
of nine essentials for lifelong vitality,
This will help undo many unhappy habits in movement, thought and relationship

Move into Life

And last and maybe this should be number one:
Make love
more.

Once a day.
But first talk.

get a timer
set a timer.
5 minutes you talk, your mate listens, no interrupting

look into each others' eyes

don't "think" of what you, as listener, are going to say

look into eyes and listen to the sound of the words

both listen: talker and listener

go slow

discover new things to say

don't complain

talk about loves and likes in life
and wishes and dreams
and what noticing in the present

go back and forth for 30 minutes

then make love

every
day

this will be immense

try it and see


Also:
if you want,
come to one of the places I live
and experience an intensive
in Enlightenment in Action

Which will include all the above and more

Okay, that's a good start.
email me questions, comments, discoveries