Friday, June 29, 2012

Byron Katie, 101

You've got stuff bothering you.
Little stuff: someone didn't smile when you said hello.
Big stuff: your mate went out and had an affair.

Everyday stuff: your friend, lover, buddy should appreciate/ respect you more.

You feel bad.
Good. You always will until you don't, and
here's a way to don't...

The work of Byron Katie......

1. Judge your neighbor (complain)

2. Write it down

3. Ask four questions

4. Turn it around

Why judge? Cause all our complaining is judging.
Be honest.
Don't be too good.
If you feel bad there's always a judgment.

Write it down.
Slows it down.
You can see the root of your suffering in a couple of words:
Mom should have been nicer to me when I was growing up.

Small batch of words, and it can lead to a lifetime of suffering.

Or: to liberation.

Ask the four questions.
Here comes liberation.

1. Is it true?

Mom should have.....
Is that true?
I want that, wish that, can have people agree, but is it true like gravity, or the color of the sky, on being on an inbreath or outbreath?
You decide.

2. Can I absolutely know it's true?

That Mom or Dad or friend or lover should have....

Can I know, in the big scheme of the universe that this bit of reality "should" have been different?
Can I know that this wasn't there for me to learn.....

Those two questions help to realize: is this thought true or is it opinion/ belief/ idea.

The next two questions are practical Buddhism: try out attachment, try out non attachment

3. How do I react when I believe the thought?

That Mom should have
That Dad should have...
That ex lover should have....

Write the list down. Feel how the suffering comes when we grab onto the thought.

4. Who or what would I be without the thought?
Either empty mind. Or, not believing the thought.

Mom, Dad, ex lover are still what they are, but we don't believe the should have been different.
Not to be good. Not to forgive. Not to "judge not that ye not be judged"
But to discover, who and what are we when we let reality be reality?

Experience the difference.

I offer this addition: move from place to place or chair to chair as you hang out in question #3 and question #4.
Experience the difference.
Don't mentally choose, but let life tell you where you really want to be.

Judge your neighbor
write it down
ask four questions
turn it around

All's left is the turn around, the famous "seeing others as the mirror."
And you turn the darn sentence around:

Dad shouldn't have been so critical of me.
I shouldn't have been so critical of Dad.

So and so should appreciate me more.
I should appreciate so and so more.

See our own inability to practice what we preach.
Get humor and humility.

And the "back to ourselves" turn around.

Dad shouldn't have been so critical of me.
I shouldn't be so critical of me.

So and so should appreciate me more.
I should appreciate me more.

Cut out the middle man.
Stop waiting for the love appreciate approval we want and give it on back to ourselves.

There you go.

Judge your neighbor.
Write it down.
Ask four questions
Turn it around

The WORK of Byron Katie.
Can't just snap your fingers.
Got to work a bit,
half an hour, and hour maybe for a couple years of therapy
or Buddhist meditation.

A good trade, bargain, pathway, game, liberation path.

Try it.
Or not.


Thursday, June 28, 2012

Internet in the public

Home internet is off for a bit. This means I get to come to Whole Foods
and eat avocado and blueberries
while I write up today's constant contact newsletter.

Eating and working on the computer.

There is a story of a Zen student
questioning his master,
who was eating and reading at the same time.
"I thought," said the student,
"That when you eat, you eat.
And when you read, you read.
Isn't that what we were taught?"

The Zen master stuffed a little more blueberries
into his mouth,
grinned and chewed happily and then said,
"Yes, and when I eat and read,
I eat and read."

Alas, I wasn't "awake" at the both of them,
and either were a temptation to not really be awake
but to be lost in translation
lost in action
lost in the rolling ahead of life,
as it were.

And it's a good life,
it's a good life,
computer Internet nonsense.

the awake life vibrates
or resonates
or glows
or something

What is it for you?

Here, for me, it's slower
and richer
and easier
no "worry" about the famous
"what's next?"
nor about
"am I doing it right"
"am I getting enough done"

it's just

which is the present
the miracle
the joy
the yes


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Sensing the moment, the Gurdjieff meditation, mullings on forgetting and remembering and the "good life"

 A dogwood tree from Sonoma, CA (not Sedona, AR,
but cool at night down in the fifties, thirty miles from the Pacific ocean,
grape growing heaven, Sonoma)
which I thought was "too hot."
Little did I know "hot" till I moved to Austin,
where flowers struggle and somehow,
people thrive.

Sitting in the present We almost all have legs and arms
My wrists are perched on the desk now, fingers tapping in various letters

We have legs and feet and toes
My feet are bare, it's summer here in Austin,
and hot, inching up in the nineties and it's not noon yet.
But one foot wasn't flat on the floor and with awareness,
I notice that, and now both are and strangely
but no real surprise,
I breathe easier with both feet on the floor.


This is the Gurdjieff meditation.
It's simplicity itself, being in our bodies
and aware of the world at the same time,
like any relaxed and normal animal,
and real and happy child.

To be alive.

Light is coming in my eyes,
part from the computer screen,
part from the window to my right,
part the reflected light off the wall behind the computer.

Light comes in my eyes,
and I can almost sense that coming in-ness if I pay attention to
my face and head
and sensing the eyes brings awareness to the poise
or not
of my head
and that brings me to my spine,
holding up my head.

Spine and head

Cars go by.
The neighbor walks upstairs.
The keys make sounds as I type,
some humming in the building.

Life goes on.

To be in arms and spine and legs and toes
and sound

is a very full meditation,

one that can be done all day

and here's the thing:

when I forget,
I can get "down" on myself
for forgetting
or get happy I remembered to come back
to the present

or curious how that reawakening happened

or grateful that it did

staying present is its own reward
and how we treat ourselves in the forgetting and remembering
is a good
way to learn self love

of course,
is a good way to learn
"other people"

for they, too,
will forget their best and most awakened selves

ah, the light is still here
and the page is white with black marks that we decipher,
brains and all,
as letters,
and words,
and as you read

you have the same setup as I do,
the same possibility:


breathing too,
a nice addition to the being alive
and know
in the now
we are alive thing

(and the voice creeps in:
this is not enough....

and the voice, ah, that's another story,
these inner voices,
but while it's saying whatever it's saying
I can still sense fingers
and arms
and legs
and toes
and aware myself avail myself
feed myself
the light
the sound
the now


breathing, too


Monday, June 25, 2012

Love and learning in the world of special needs children parents

Each day is a chance, for your child to learn something,
some little connection,
some little difference,
or to learn a difference a little better,
the big toe and the little toe,
or to learn a connection a little more clearly,
the heel and the hip,

that's what brains are for,
when used to make our lives
bigger and better:
they discover, note and make rewiring to be able to use again
differences that make a difference.

Feed your child's brains:

Make it new and fresh
for them,
and you,
the delightful worlds of continuous discovery.

This is why I think
it's so wonderful for
parents to be
having lessons
and studying
experimenting from
Anat's new book,
you know the one,
Kids Beyond Limits.

If you, the parent,
can feel how pleasant
and useful it is,
the feel
as sensation,
without any words in the way,
just FEEL a connection,
say from your hand back into your shoulder blade
and back even more into your spine,

If you can feel this
sense this,
know this in yourself,
you can begin to realize how powerful
and playfully useful you can be with
your child,
just "playing" with her hand.

This is love.
Attention to yourself,
just perfect as you are now.
Attention to your child,
just perfect as she or he is now.

A hand, a rib, a cheek,
a toe,
all these parts are so amazing
and connect with so many other parts,
and are so happy to be moved
gently and in a way
that makes them "wake" up to
possibilities of new and different actions.

And so,
there are no mistakes.
Your child moves this way,or that,
it doesn't really matter,
all motions  can have four or five variations.

The child moves a way someone else might call
a "mistake,"
and with enough variations,
some more useful options will show up,
and if they really work for the child,
he or she will pick them.
With no scolding, repremanding,
being told to "stop that,"
or "do it this way."

If it's a game
and a better way is practiced,
the better way WILL be adopted.

We are always at that crossroads
of sleeping through our life,
doing what we've always done,
and waking up the the intense magic
and possibility of NOW>

And still,  habit says:
do what you always did.

Learning is always whispering (or more):
I wonder what this change would be like.

Play with the changes,
in you
and in your child
and in your movement with your child.

You'll have a lot of fun.
It will feel like love,
because it will be love.

And the changes will come,
at just the speed they are supposed to come.


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Do a little less, a lot more awake

We can "get a lot done," and be asleep to the whole

The body that is holding us up
in gravity.

The air that is stoking the fires
of our life.

The light coming in our eyes.

The sound coming in our ears.

Forgetting ourselves,
we "get a lot done."

Fine, fine. It's nice to move
in the world.

And then there is this little
amazing thing:
we are alive.

Right now,
as I tap away, one finger after another.

Right now, as you sit or stand or lie
or crawl or walk
and read these


is always there.
Are we there for the life
that we are living
we are living it?

(And the thoughts,
those thugs,
those thieves,
that's another story,
the story of the life
that got away
kidnapped by the concepts
and the mistake
of thinking the thoughts are
the (possibly ) real things
to which they point)

For now though,
this can be a grand game:

set out to "do"
sweep the floor,
read three pages in a book,
walk to the corner and back,
breathe with awareness,
and sense
with awareness
and know experience
in the light
coming in,
the moments,
each crystaline
and wonderful unique

or something like


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Anthony De Mello

"All you can achieve by your effort  is repression,
not genuine change and growth.
Change is only brought about by
awareness and

Understand your unhappiness
and it will disappear--
and that results in a state of happiness.

Understand your pride and it will
which results in humility.

Understand your fears
and they will melt--
the resultant state is love.

Understand your attachments
and they will vanish--
the consequence is freedom.

(Awareness equals freedom, eh?-- my addition/ edition)

Love and
freedom and
are NOT things you can cultivate and

You can not even know what they are.
All you can do is observe their opposites,
through your observation,
cause their opposites to disappear."

Anthony De Mello's little, palm sized miracle book:
The Way to Love.

Love letter to an X lover

Hey you,
Good to see you, talk to you.
Not surprising, but not heartening to hear you down on yourself,
quite sure you are F....d up, because of your body ailments.

From now now F.......d up will be FU.

This is the secret of life, my friend, my good friend,
my sad because she's beating the crap out of herself friend:
you are perfect just as you are.

And without knowing,
in the immediate 4 brain mindfulness way
exactly where you are now,
you can't change.

This is a pedantic letter,
oh well.
Maybe it's helpful pedantry.

Say you can pleasantly lift 14 oz,
and women your age mainly can lift 30 oz.

So, by the laws of making ourselves miserable with comparison
you are FU.

And I, who like eight pound rocks to lift and play with
am FU compared to the big guys at the gym who sling around
30 pounds as if it were nothing.

And if I feel:
as sensation,
what exactly is happening,
when I'm where I can pleasantly move,
at my 8 pounds,
or if you feel exactly where you are,
at your 14 oz you can
begin to feel the "how" of your movement,
and we can vary,
we can arch and lift,
round our backs and lift.

Try it sitting and standing.
Shift weight right and left in sitting and standing while we lift.
Rotate the lift to the right and the left.
Let our head and eyes follow the lift or go opposite.

Have weights of slightly different heaviness in each hand.

Lift with one hand and pay attention to sensing and relaxing
our other hand, and our jaws and our tongue.

Lift as we rotate slowly slowly slowly our heads
right and left while s s s we move our eyes in the opposite direction.

And then: who knows, we might get stronger.

But along the way, we are present and alive and curious.

You're the cgi Buddhist.
Curious, gentle, intelligent.

If we don't know,
at four levels exactly where we are,
A) can't be present
B) can't change.

Four levels:
Sensing/ body level
Feeling/ emotional level
Thinking/ chat chat level   
Awaring/ vision, hearing, smelling level

And maybe a fifth: our awareness of the I AM
the awareness of our awareness,
the us-ness of being the one noticing and enjoying all this

The only real perspective is
from the graveyard.

In your last three days, if you can lift a tea cup to
your mouth,
and nothing any heavier,
will you really care,
balanced against the immense gift of life.

And then for another road with this,
a Moshe Feldenkrais road.

Once upon a time, some beefy fellow challenged him
to arm wrestling and whooped his ass.

Moshe asked to rematch in two months.

He went home and got a hammer and slung it
side to side with his elbow on the table like
in arm wrestling.

The next day he wrapped one stand of copper wire onto
the hammer, too small to detect, but a real weight increase,
and slung again.

The next day another wire.

Soon, never feeling any painful,
or even noticeable weight increases
he's sling around a mammoth weight.

And he wins the rematch.

There is a "law" the talk about in the Feldie
work, Feber-Vechter,
and it's not necessary to the tale, to the pedantry,
to the possibility of you realizing
that loving yourself exactly as you are,
and making little fun kind curious gentle intelligent
Buddhist/ Feldenkrais/ experimental changes

and life can get better and better and better.

Note the heading on this blog.

Love yourself.

Just like Byron Katie taking the exact number of drinks
of booze she needed to get to her free and enlightened and immensely
useful place,
you are the exact weak/ strong you need to be to become the
even more amazing person you are meant to become.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

each day offers

each day offers
or not

or arguing with reality

or befudled

fun thing is this:
we're just fine,
even in the "wrong" choices

can we can always
"wake up" and notice what we did,
what we are going

coming back
not even my choice
but almost by scent
as if the smell of Life
is luring us
to the truth
of Now

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

7 steps for parents of children on the spectrum

1. Be mindful.
Look at your own life, movement, speech and action, and
realize when you are "out to lunch."
Make a happy and concerted effort to cultivate the difference
between being "here/ now" and moving along either on high
function automatic, or "spacing out", or low functioning automatic
(arguing, worrying, blaming, self pity, etc)

2. Buy Anat's book

Read it all, but especially the chapters on Awareness and Variation and Connecting not Fixing.

Go about seeing everything your child does as a potential
learning game
of delight
to you both.

No more "mistakes."
Only learning.

3. Change the diet according to either the GAPS protocol,
or the Body Ecology One:

See this video
U tube on Gaps and Body Ecology, first of six

4. Get your child Anat Baniel Method lessons.
See her website for the gains autistic children have made:

Autistic Spectrum page

5. Buy an expensive and very powerful book on
healing ANY disease, from cancer to heart disease to diabetes
with food.
The autism isn't a complete cure in his book (all the seven combined can be)
but he's got a special autism mercury detox protocol:

See the Conquer Any Disease book

While waiting on that, check out the various learnings
on my food page
of my website:

here's the food page:
My Food and Health Page

6. Study, learn, think about the difference
in the Son Rise approach:
meeting the child, joining, interacting
the ABA approach,
which is behavioral,
and mainly to get the kids to conform to
outside rules,
somewhat like dog training.
Here's a link I had on my original autistic page:

ABA vs Son Rise

7. Horses,
know about the most important human connection:
head and pelvis

(they don't know about the most important human function:
rotating around the axis. so they are great, but can radically be improved
by adding Anat Baniel Method.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Happiness is a sweet guide, and not necessary

 PIglets in tiger skins
nursing a tiger....
i wrote a blog about it ages ago,
i don't know why
and the piglets are happy,
the tiger is happy
and there is more to life than happy nursing
(or is there?)

Happiness is given If the food is coming
and the hugs
and we have something to do with our time--- learn, create, work,
serve, talk, sing, dance,
build, rest, walk, jump, skip,
read, garden, swim, even computer schlock--
something to do
we are absorbed in
and feeling fully alive

happiness is who we are


and then:
we are unhappy

and that's great
because it's a message

and the message isn't what we
are programmed to think:

that it's a "bad day"
or that we are "Wrong"
or that "Something should change"
(Though something could, could, and that
change is.....)

the usual is:
unhappiness means something out there
isn't "working"

and what it really means is
something in here
isn't loving
and relating to
and enjoying
and moving along
or accepting

or accepting and moving along

whatever is out there

I could explain this more clearly
and I won't

mull it through
if you are willing to read something twice

and then maybe get a pencil
or pen
and make your little poem
about happiness
and the
wonderful signal that
when we are "unhappy"
 we are
"off the mark"
(old fashioned/ smart definition of "sin")

is that saying unhappiness is a "sin"?

No, it's a reminder
a wake up
a gift to tell
us ....
you're missing the point
you're off the mark

slow down
what are you forgetting to love?

and do "it" a different way

Sin. ah sin, I find sin is too messy
and idea
too good and bad ish,
 for people
who want to live a real life,

but "off the mark"
unhappiness is saying

we aren't present
to the
kingdom of heaven

which is

or never

love ciao and now,

Monday, June 04, 2012

Returning Calls, or, If you can't love everyone, you can't love anyone

this is going to cover a lot of ground oh, well

if you have various people you
don't love,
it means you have rules,

they don't live up to
you don't love

and it turns out,
with that,
with your best super wonderful lover,
you'll also drag conditions in

you will
they may be subtle but you will

and phones:

when you call people
and they don't return the call,
this is usually annoying,
"Don't I count for this person."

And when we don't return the call,
we are telling those people,
consciously or unconsciously,
they don't count.

Can be a power trip.
Can be revenge.
Can be feeling we are too good for so and so.
Can be the busy thing as an excuse for all the above,
and how long would it take
to call or text:
Got your call, busy now,
but hope to connect.

I did that the other day,
and within my definition of manners:
I call back within 24 hours.

So I did.
Someone I thought would be a "drag"
So what,
that's what manners are for,
to treat people well.
So I called and said I only had a few minutes
and would love to hear why they called.

Turned into twenty minutes of delight.

Oh, well.

So, people don't have to have manners about calling me back.
I like myself plenty.

And I know that when they are unconsciously telling
other people they aren't good enough,
they are doing that to themselves.

We are all one,
they say,
the mystics KNOW,
we know when we are awake,
even the uncool people
we don't have time to call back.

We are all one,
and when we shuffle off a part of ourselves as another person,
we shuffle off part of God.

oh, well.