Best first line of poem, thank z be to Mary Oliver: You do not have to be good

You do not have to be good

You don't have to finish your breakfast and wash the dishes
before you go to write a poem
or take a walk
or go back to bed and make love to everyone you love

You do not have to say your prayers
Nor do you have to scorn those who pray continuously

You do not have to turn out the lights
and go to sleep at
ten
eleven
twelve
one

You do not have to be fresh and perky the next
day

Nor need you repent of the late night reading
walking under the stars
making love to everyone you love
lying awake in blessed non sleep not dreaming
not thinking
not even meditating

just warm
lying there
wasting time

You do not have to not waste time

You can linger
over
almost anything to good effect
whatever good effect means,
let's say it means: joyful sustanence

and linger away
at the book, the lover, the bed, the walk,
the poem,

even your work

You do not have to begrudge your
work
Nor listen to anyone who is boring you

You do not have to wait until tomorrow
to be
happy
nor even
until this poem is over

Meanwhile
wild geese fly over Mary Oliver's poem
and the heater hums in mine
a rare cold day in Austin
in Texas
where I never thought I'd be
and I'm in love
with so many things
and I could blame it on Austin
or God
or you

but why bother

you do not have to have an excuse
for
happiness
nor
for joy

Beyond the arguing, hey, let's try something else

Most so called conversation
is two people, semi-listening
and mainly
"thinking" what they are going
to say
and waiting for an opening
to sneak, shove, slide or otherwise
to insert
their
very very important words

BAD conversation
aka arguing
aka "fighting" has two generic
forms,
one worse than the other
and both  a sad waste of
human life love
and liberty

the normal awful arguing mode
generic style is:
person A, telling person B
this:
I'm right, and you are wrong

person B, sees it just the opposite
and is defending, attacking, interrupting,
yelling,
whatever it takes for this important message:
I'm right and you are wrong

notice the similarity in their messages

the AWFUL style
is both have this message:
I'm good, you are bad

ouch

Now,
what's some alternatives,
non habitual communication
as it were

one is Non Violent Communication
which isn't my training
and it's roughly:
let the other guy talk
+ really listen
and then say:
okay, what it seems to me
is that your feel ......
because you need/ want/ feel you aren't getting.....

It takes the amazing assumption
the other person has real issues, feelings, and order in their
own world

great

A tried and true other way:

person A listens
person B talks, rants, accuses
whatever for awhile
(way way best to set a timer here,
a little ranting goes a long way if
person B has to really listen, can't interrupt,
and had to repeat it back)

and that's the next step
person B says to A,
here's what I heard you say,
and gives it back
without any interpretation
or defending

( tough stuff,
but good,
"You said I was a creep
and never pay enough attention to you,
and I really let you down when...")

And then, B asks: did I miss anything
(another reason for a 2 minute to 3 minute turn each,
it's hard to remember too much stuff,
especially when it's emotional "stuff')

if A says you missed....
then B says, okay, I missed ....

If A says, no you got it,
then B takes a short turn
A listens without interruptin
and repeats it back

Called reflective listening

this practice,
the non habitual listening
and honoring the other person,
can really help
that wounded feeling of
"You don't care about me,
won't listen to me feeling"

which is often true in arguing
when the yelling is about OUR important
stuff,
and precludes listening

there are two more cool non habitual
communication games
I like

and let's make it short

each requires you to
take turns with a timer
it can be a little,
or a lot longer,
since there is no feedback

in the first type:
when it's your turn
you talk about anything
except any feedback, suggestion, etc
about what the other said

so each of you agrees to only talk
about issues that don't involve the other

in the more complicated type,
you can address whatever came
up
but you have to listen when it's your turn
to listen
and the more you can keep it
in the famous "I" statement
response
the better

this is tricky
and can work in a mature
relationship
especially one committed
to full time being present

....
this wasn't really a poem
was it?

who knows

could we both,
you gentle reader
and me sincere writer,
go back to the beginning
and read the whole darn thing
with an attempt to follow our breathing
and sense two arms
and two legs
and one
spine
at the same
time?

I'll give it a go

you'll do what you do

i had to read it several times,
discovering typos along the way

and rereading
and going slowly
is nice

very nice

at a point
the words
didn't matter,
just being present
felt
plenty good
enough

hope your
present
is presenting you
with ease and joy

and if nothing else
that thrill of being
in your life
at the moment you are living
your life

what would Awakened Frienship Look Like

have you ever tried
to "remember yourself"
all day

attention in
one breathing
or arms and legs
and attention out
on the world of air and light and sound
and actions
we are moving through?

tis hard
even in simple circumstances

and noted when we
"lose it" most can
be delightful realization
of the immensity
of the "sleep" of most of our life

(even as i type this....)

and one of for
sure
hardest
"wake up times"

is talking to another

and I'm in the mood to
have Awakened
Friendships

with as many people as can stand
it

the waking up tribe

it's a kind of love
that leaves the clothes on
and take off the cage
around the heart

want to join me?


ciao
for NOW
chris

falling into the glory of being, BEing, BEING alive

Some place are getting cold
and maybe they had beautiful days
somewhere between June and October

in Austin we had about
zero
and now it's
beautiful
so maybe that's "fair"

or maybe it's the way the globally
warming Earth is playing
its game this year

for whatever reason
I commend you
all
to take some time
out
doors

today

not rushing to the car

not "getting a lot done"
in your garden

not even doing your "power walk"
or walk and talk walk

and what's left:
just go out
and see where your feet
lead you

is that fair

on a Friday?

when there is
"too much to do"?

yes

why?

someday you will take
your last breath
on this planet Earth

what happens next is belief
superstition, possibility,
who knows

but the last breath comes
and as it approaches

you get to be present
to the immense glory
of being alive
and having been alive

fall
does that to people
somehow

gives the preview to the
looking back
and feeling the immense
glory and wonder of
it all

so fall out of your routine
and into the fresh air

and feel experience see hear
notice enjoy
whatever happens

good

Qigong part two, balance is not falling over, lengthening is reaching to heavens above and Earth below

Stand on the easiest foot

Bring the other foot back, and lightly use your toes to balance

Form a ball with your hands in front of your standing leg, opposite hand of standing leg on top

Reach up with top hand, down with other hand, arch your back, breathe out and lengthen

Come back to the ball near the hip of your standing leg with the other hand on top, ie same hand as standing leg

Then lengthen up and breathe out

Rest and do this to the other side

Now,
the advanced version

Stand on one foot; I'll say left to make it easier

Bring your right knee up toward your chest and your hands in a ball, about six inches apart,
right hand on top

Bend/ fold in a bit, so your stomach in back,
shoulders head and sternum down
pelvis tilted up (as in tailbone under, sex toward nose)

From this fold/ round/ crouch: breathe in
I know it's weird, but do it, breathe in,
and

breathe out
and lengthen,
right leg behind you and still in the air
right hand easily high above your head
arch your back
look up easily without shortening your neck toward your hand,
left hand down

Breathe in
and come into a crouch again
still on your left foot,
right knee forward again,
this time a ball with the left hand on top,

Breathe out,
lengthen left hand high, right hand down,
right leg back again,

Do this back and forth about 3 times.

Then switch to standing on your right foot
and reverse everything

this will do ya
good

ciao
chris

Easy bending, a start, and 5 lines, a deep meditation, one or both levels, go for it, or not

More alive: sensing five lines

This is “hard.”

Or not. Who cares? Do we have anything better to do than wake up completely to each moment?

I don’t.


You decide for you.

And if “hard” is still okay, give this a go: sense both arms and both legs.

And then add on your spine.



Try this : five lines in sitting.

1) Sit, not at the back of the chair, feel your five lines: two arms, two legs, spine.

2) Move your pelvis back and forth a bit, and sense the shifting shape of your spine, like this: belly in, weight to back of your pelvis, head and chest a little down and forward; now rocking to the front of your pelvis, belly a little forward, back arched, head upright. Sense your 5 lines in this.

3) Take your left hand at your right thigh, and lean forward and caress your right leg, with your hand going toward the foot, and back up again. Many times. Sense your five lines and other parts while you do this.

4) Rest. And then, take the right hand behind the right knee, and left hand behind your head, and lift your right knee a little and bring your left elbow toward your right knee. Go gently, slowly, easily. Many times. Sensing your five lines.

5) Rest., Now, look to the right and put your left hand behind your head and near or over your left ear. Hold again your right knee with your right hand. Letting your head and spine turn even more to the left, and sensing your five lines as you do this, bring elbow and knee towards each other again.

6) Rest. Now pick you right leg, with your left hand holding your right ankle and right hand holding your right knee. Lift the knee and leg toward your face and let the chest and head come forward, and then back, slowly, sensing your 5 lines. A bit, shift your held leg right and left, again sensing your five lines, minimizing effort and maximizing pleasure and learning.

7) Rest. Do the original movement of left hand down the right leg and see if this is different, all the while sensing your 5 lines.

8) If you want to do the opposite side, 5 lines, all the steps go ahead.

Today’s game: five lines, and feeling how to make bending more interesting and variable for ourselves.