to have a great/ resurrected relationship

to have a great/
resurrected relationship

wake up

which means you don't "have"
anything
but the game
of finding each other
as
each of you changes
in the moment

and sinks and soars
deeper
and deeper
into the person
that they really are

the mystery
find able only in the present
usually without words,
but the words guessing toward
what they are feeling and becoming
are part of the game

how close can you say/ guess
to today's turn on, confusion
happiness
wonder

let's play listening and
learning
and what can I say
I'm afraid to hear

how deeper from heart
belly and
genitals
and
toes
and fingers
can I hear
ALL of what you are saying

and more
all of what you are being
as each moment's being waves,
like the ocean,
into the next

surfing the moments together
with touch talk joke laugh listen silence
question joke pun empty waiting
all
and
more

tools and toys for the
game

let's play

Buddha's 4 truths and relationship

Buddha truth: 4

Life is suffering ( can be)

Suffering from grasping: cling to, push away

Is way out: enlightenment

Is path to enlightenment



Susan Piver's take on this vis a vis relationships:

Relationships are uncomfortable

Trying to stabilize deny hide from discomfort causes suffering

Unconditional love is possible

Path is:
attention, with precision , on moment and partner

openness to what see

let go of trying to control




good,
and her comment:
of Buddhist trained marriage counselor:
in 30 years never found a couple where one didn't want more away ness,
one didn't want more closeness
good

Day Four: This is now, this is important, for this I'm grateful

(All the days in the upcoming book
of 21 Days to Relationship Enlightenment won't be posted here.
The book will soon be for sale.
A three hour intensive retreat for couples who want to double their happiness,
or cut in half their unhappiness,
will be based on some of the exercises,
plus for the in person work, movement/ brain/ upgrade and happiness "games" will be enjoyed between each
"emotional/ heart upgrade" activity. )

Day four:
As per each day, sit in two chairs facing each other, or
across a table,
or out on the grass sitting facing each other.

Come into the present.

Take turns.

The first person reports on

1) Their present experience at three levels:
Body and shape and gravity: ("I notice my feet pressing the floor and my arms shaped like...)
Torso and breathing ("I notice the air coming in and out of my chest area, and a bit into my belly")
And sound: " I hear...."
2) Their present observing the other with no interpretations:
"I see you eyes. " " I see your white shirt."
If the other is smiling, " I see your smile,"  But not even, "You look happy." Just pure fcts

3) The a statement of what is important,
"It is important to me that ......."

4) A statement of gratitude,
"I am grateful for....."

5) Once more saying present based observations:
body, torso and hearing about our experience; light and image about what we see of the other in the present

Changing around:
The second person feeds back what they heard in #3 and #4:
"I heard you say, This was important to you.
I heard you say, You are grateful for ...."

Then the second person speaks the above 5 steps to the first person.

..........
Going back and forth so each person has at least 3 turns seems a minimum grand action for today.
Or any day.