men should know: for a woman, everything is connected

her sex, her hair, her tummy, her food, her smile, the lightness of her glance,

the way you smell, the way she smells
what she thinks you think about her,
what she thinks her friends think about you
the way her mother thinks about her

how you touch her

the quality of your attention

it's all connected


and one thing can bring the trance of all things being equal
and what they always were:

you're attention

give it to her

say the truth,
about you
and
about her

be free
and watch
and
listen
and
wonder
and
ask questions
and
then
shut up and listen
and
then ask another one
and shut up
and
listen
and you don't have to understand, nor does she
but she has to be listened to

and you have to listen

it'll cut through anything
and
everything

good

What women should know about men: Say it like the first time

Every time you, woman, talk to a man ....
Say it like the first time...

(From Nicole Daedone's book:
Slow Sex)

 

 He is not as subtle as you..
Nor does he operate on many channels at once

If you expect him to remember the emotional overtones
of the last five times you brought up the idea of going
to a certain place

he might
and
he probably won't

he might have a schedule in his head
and he'll have to be asked,
do you remember how nice it felt last time we went to Barton Creek?

otherwise he hears a request/ (he might even hear a demand)
to change his schedule in his head around

and if he shifts one thing,
he'll have to shift these other three

and meanwhile,
you, woman, want the sunshine and the friends and his warm touch
on your thigh and his hug in the water

you want to connect
you want him to want to connect

you can never lose
saying what you want:

I want to connect
I want to spend some play time with you
I want to touch more
I want you to put down your iPhone and talk to me

and you can never lose
by
saying how you feel:

I feel like you are abandoning me
I feel like I'm horny and you're not
I feel like grabbing you, and I'm afraid to
I feel like slamming a door and having a tantrum to get some attention

Make it simple
He loves you
He wants to know what's going on

But he doesn't want to be confused

Say it to him like the first time

You'll be happier
He'll be happier

Good

10 things women should know about men---- important stuff

Hi there, here's the second part
From Nicole Daedone's book: Slow Sex
buy it
devour it
change everything in your heart, mind and sex


 

What Women should know about Men:

1. Men experience acknowledgment through a woman’s happiness.
2. If you want him to treat you like an equal, then be his equal.
3. Nice is the trump card.
4. Say it to a man every time like the first time.
5. Fixing is what a man does when he can’t figure out how to turn you on.
6. His conditioning says for him to be autonomous and independent.
7. He really is that simple, and it’s not the same as dumb.
8. When you hit, it hurts.
9. Men get confused when women withhold information.
10. Approval turns him on.  

Simplicity

Sometimes you just
don't
really don't

want to do
something

like write something each
day
in
the blog

on the blog

and then,
you decide

to do it

and then,
if you are lucky
and coach people that the
"Doing" is just the masculine half
of moving forward in life
and the big
game is to
go for the whole tamale,
to
 figure a way to
enjoy/ connect/ play/
goof
with the project as you doing
away

do do
fun fun

okay
and a smile
can be had
at even the paltriest efforts
and the most unimpressive results

we aren't all Mozart
and the Universe gets along
just fine

the masculine and the feminine

The masculine is testosterone:
The house in burning down, kick down the door, run up the stairs, smash anything in the way, save the baby, save the damsel in distress, bloody up arm and knee on elbow, doesn't matter, get the job done, mission accoplished
Save the day.
Then collapse

(Male orgasm a bit like that)

The feminine is oxytocyn
Someone is in some emotional pain, find some friends, the more the better, all talk about five or six things, and underneath it the one thing may or may not be talked about: in connection there is safety, and comfort and a sense that this is what life is for.
Ahh.
The meandering is the journey is the joy, if in connection.

Female orgasm is like that. The real orgasm, not the climax that is sold in the magazine, and that climax is just fine and dandy, but the taking forever and that's just fine, taking forever in pleasure and rising and falling.
And connection.
Connection.
Connection.

The we building as the game goes up and down and all around.

And this is how I see my coaching evolving:

People want to get stuff done.
Old coaching is lists and action steps and accountable and that's all fine.

But the feminine wants quality and connection, and will gladly sacrifice getting things done for the interest and the mess and the connection and the discovery along the way.

How to do both?
Ask for the raise and be connected to yourself and your boss as you do it.

Ask for for love making time, and in connection as you ask, not complaining, not demanding, but listening enough to figure out a way to make the "we" of this new set of behaviors work.

Go about talking to new people about your vision, and not just selling the vision and showing the big picture, but connecting to them, as they are now, and to how the "we" of that connection is happening and not happening as you present the vision.

There is more to this,
and that's a good start for today.