Showing posts with label OM. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OM. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Liking first, then sex...... what is kin? What is kind? Slowing down. Slowing way down.

In relationship
sex is sweet
and sex is amazing
and often
sex
gets ahead of itself and has to carry the freight of the whole relationship.


too much.
too hard.

sex as sex
sex as om
sex as make out,

should come after solid connection

this is not "sex only with the special ONE that you are
exclusive with,"
though it can be that

it's more serious;

it's liking
liking
liking
the person with whom you are
OMing
sexing
making out

like
means trust

like means connection if
times get rough

liking means having communication
open
always

in a way it's bigger than what we usually call loving

and it's a lot of what's missing in what we usually call loving

in fact,
it is loving

but liking people

that's the glue


..
but not golf club liking
not beer buddy liking
but kin
liking

liking that you  burn to be around
that person
a lot

liking that they matter to you
a lot

liking that you really, really are curious
about them, them, them

kin

kin

kin

.....



kindness comes from kin
family
close group

skip OM, skip sex, skip making out 
until the person
and you
are
kin

Thursday, August 01, 2013

the importance of love

sex is good>
love is good

people worry about OM sometimes:
what about the love?

and then you look around at most marriages,
most relationships:

hand holding
sex
companionship
maybe

love:
well,
when it's going well,
feels good,
things are going well in the world,
and it feels like love

notice that good sex in a relationship
seems one of the main fuels that have the "love" feeling going

and yet,
looking around: people are in their marriage,
or in their relationship,
they are doing okay,
sometimes up
sometimes down
and it's a mixed bag,
to say the least

the glue without the sex, is really this:
they don't have to worry about being alone

which doesn't really point to OM,
but it could
maybe even should:

OM is a way to fill up on
connection
OM is a way to not be alone
and not have to tie the blessed relationship knot,
which many
are afraid to tie

many would rather be alone
for vast periods,
waiting around for their "soul" mate
or at least "the one"

and if "the one" doesn't think
they are the special "one"
it won't work

so there's a lot of sifting,
a lot of waiting
a lot of feeling bad
and alone

now this has a couple of solutions:

one: learn to feel good alone,
which means,
really,
to meditate

and two:
learn to OM,
which means,
deeply,
to learn how to meditate with another,
with sex up and flowing

so when you're single
meditate and
OM

and when you have a partner,
meditate and
OM

and what's love got to do with it?

everything:
you find yourself in love
we find ourselves in love,

it's when we can be exactly who we are
and this is fine
or great
or fun
or charming

with the other person

there's more to it:
love is a pretty big
one
for
today

Chris




Monday, July 29, 2013

slow sex, slow life, slow talk.....wake up.........why not?

The world of OM is sometimes
viewed as the world of possibility that opens
when sex
plus
attention
in the moment

combine to create
......
lots and lots


let's make a short list,
to which you can add at your pleasure and leisure;

connection
orgasm
sensation
now-ing
clearing
stirring
more sensations
attention to sensation
fun
more stirring
more connection

anyway:

OM happens by slowing down
sex
from
"trying to get somewhere"
and
from
being mood and arousal based
( turn on does happen, guess that should go on
the list above)
and
from reciprocity
and
from performance
and
from having to end
at climax
or exhaustion
or ?????

the timer rings,
13 minutes,
downstrokes
15 minutes

stop

it's over

we've slowed out of life
to connect and have a sort
of sex

we've connected

and then,
the rest of that day?

how can talking be like an OM

connection and sensation
and now
based

and there is a cheap version
of messing with people to get their sensation
up
and then there is a version
of deeply sensing
oneself
while talking

that slows things down
a
lot

the words stopping being it

the other person is seen and heard and felt,
but we don't need a reaction out of them
to fire ourselves
up

hmmm

there could be more
to
this



yeah,
there is........
.......

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Sex Every Day: OM

you know the phrase:
OMG

OM good,
did you know that's what it stood for

and why is OM good

some Greek said that the "good"
after all the endless bullshit debates
was that which was every day

and OM,
with its 20 minute window
of grounding, 

and stroking and 
framesharing
and setting up, taking down the nest

is something that can
easily be every day

with the minor glitch:

you've got to schedule it

and if you don't...
it doesn't happen


so, let's look at a couple of angles:

you live with a mate,
and you're always "too busy" for "normal" sex
or .... ( admit it, annoyed, and wanting
to deprive and punish,
or at least avoid,
the other)

and you could just say:
every night at ten,
we are going to have sex

that would be great for your relationship

and,
if you want to back off from that bliss land
and make it an easier yes,
find a time,
preferably the same time each day,
kids asleep,
you're awake,
and OM each day then



if it's "hard"
OM

if it's a "piece of cake"
OM

if you are sleepy
OM

if you are jazzed to go,
OM

okay,
that's done


and then, "it" can
get a little harder

when you live alone
or with people who aren't OM partners,
then you've got to use your wits a bit

and mainly,
you've got a great chance to NOT listen
to
no,
to not obey,
the voice that says:
"it's too much trouble."

this excuses voice:

partners are too far away,
my schedule is too busy,
I don't like the available partners in my area

and so on,

and I'm not going to solve this problem for
you

just ask:
could you solve it
if you wanted to?


and about the excuses,
could you ask:
Is it true?
Is it absolutely true?

I bet you could

and think, feel, sense this:

how much fun you could have finding
out
if you can solve this puzzle

good.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

the importance of OM

OM slows down
and let's sex come out

OM only takes 20 minutes
and you connect

OM is about paying attention
and
being turned on
and
following sensation
and
and raising sensation
and
handling the raised sensation

OM stands for orgasmic meditation

sometimes you climax
usually you don't

but you fill
and
you connect

OM only takes 20 minutes

it's simple:
up down
up down
up down

it's elegant:
he strokes her
she surrenders

it's clean
the nest is for OM

it's smart
you get deep connection
and
sexual intimacy
without
the
baggage of normal sex

it's free
one finger
one clit
one nest

and
twenty minutes

Saturday, July 06, 2013

What does love have to do with it?


When my son was a teenager we had the "drug talk."
It must have gone pretty well, because at Berkeley High, the weed central of the bay area, he had no interest in pot, and would go to alcohol parties and try out his acting chops, acting drunk, but didn't drink.

The gist of the talk was this:
Drugs are a good window, but a bad room.

They can show you what the bigger, more free, more amazing world could be, but if you use them every day, you'll be where you want to be, but not know how to get there, and you'll be trapped in getting the drug to get to the room, and eventually forget the room in a way.

They show the way.

And I said that throughout history, people have done drugs on Full Moon, or New Years, or Easter, or during the Peace Pipe ceremony even for the smoking of tobacco. And on these occasions they showed the way.

What has this got to do with love.

Falling in love is like a drug.

It shows the way to the wide open, unconditional way we need to be in the world.

Unlike drugs, we could be falling in love all the time, it's just that we get habituated to the person we are around, and worse, we start using them as a projection screen for what we don't like in ourselves.

So their nosiness, or inconsideration, or lack of appreciation, or inability to understand us, are all mirrors to our own nosiness, inconsideration, lack of appreciation, and inability to understand others.

But they are around, hey, and it's easier to get annoyed at them.
So we do.

And falling in love goes down the toilet.

But we say we love them, and we might say, "except I don't like you."

"I love you but I don't like you," could be he summary of at least half the marriages and long term relationships in this country.

Is that you?

Which means: love is conditional. When you do X, Y and Z, I disapprove and want to tell you that you are wrong, or disengage, or attack.

But not love.

Unconditional love means love in all conditions.

This is what love has to do with sex.

Any time we can't love our partner ( or anyone we are with), the signal is up: WE HAVE WORK TO DO.

The work will clear the path so we can get turned on and kiss and play and dance and enjoy the other.

In the meantime, OM each day. Have 15 minutes of finger to clitoris connection, not matter if loving or liking or hating.

Connection no matter what.

This is the glue of a real relationship.

Good.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Practice --- day 2 of Sex Every Day

OM stands for orgasmic meditation.

You've heard the phrase, meditation practice.


OMing is a meditation practice. Sexy one. And not sexy in a way, because it's about being slow enough and awake enough to feel, as sensation, what is going on now.
and now

and now

and now

OM is a meditation practice.

Practice means you plug away and if you do well, great; if it's not so great, you keep plugging away.

How could you do it better?

And what is better in meditation?

Paying attention.

Being present.

For the strokee: being present to where the finger is stroking and to the sensation in her body.

For the stroker: being present to where the finger is stroking and to the sensation in his or her body.

This is  seeminglya slam dunk, right, it's such a pleasurable place.

And yet, for the strokee, the temptation is to feel it's all "too much" and to check out, or to want to pull for climax, and to get involved in the idea of "too much" and not the real sensations.Or to wish her stroker were a little more this, a little less that. Or to maybe wish she hadn't said yes to this OM. Or to think she's not "really doing it right."

And so on.

For the stroker, good god, so many thought pathways to go down: am I doing it right? Where is the clitoris? What's the right stroke? Why isn't she responding? And more and more . ( With the great relationship ruiner: if the other one were just more of this , or less of that. Why can't they get this or that together?)

And it's a practice: come back to the moment, as you come back to breathing or sensing or emptiness in a meditation.


AND HERE'S MAYBE THE MOST IMPORTANT: WHEN YOU COME BACK TO THE PRESENT, DON'T ATTACK YOURSELF FOR HAVING LEFT IT

JUST ENJOY "COMING HOME"

Practice doesn't make perfect.

It makes awake.


Or, more correctly: it's practice in coming back to awake again and again and again.

This is what life is for. To wake up.

Practicing with a partner in the world of orgasm is a sweet path to waking up.

Perhaps it's for you to try.

Every Day.

Sex Every Day.

And each day "it" will be different, and all you have to do, is be there, be aware.

Pay attention.

Monday, July 01, 2013

Sex Every Day, day 1

We are in relationships, if we are for real, for three reasons: good sex. Good talk. Mutual development. The betterment of the world.

That's four. Not really, because mutual betterment includes the betterment of the world.

There will be plenty of discussion over the month  about the whole shebang of a great relationship, 
( we'll kickstart this blog, with a daily post all the days in July)
but let's start here:

Why waste your time in relationship if it isn't a great one?

This too is a great topic, and includes: fear of being alone, expectations of others, taking care of the kids .

Sticking it out for the kids is a half good excuse except for this: it's mean to the kids for them to grow up around people who don't know how to love each other.

Guess what? If Mommy doesn't love Daddy, and Daddy doesn't love Mommy, what happens to the kids, who are at least a third Mommy and a third Daddy and a third their own selves.

No matter which parent they are around they are going to pick up an antagonism that has only one way to go: self hatred.

So, hey, the solution is: get the relationship together or get out.

And it's not that hard to get the relationship together, if you have ..... guess what? SEX EVERY DAY.


Wait, wait, people in shitty relationships will complain: we have to like each other more, or clear up our junk or all that hooey, before we'll even consider sex once a week, let alone, SEX EVERY DAY.

Well, guess what: I can coach any couple through getting rid of ALL resentments, and learning to really listen and empathize in communication, but believe it or not, SEX EVERY DAY, is the easiest way to clear out the rubbish.

Well, second easiest: first each has to start sharing TRUTH that has been hidden, i.e. to be VULNERABLE.

Oh, gad, what am I asking. Sex Every Day? Vulnerability? Might as well shoot ourselves.

Well, except for the effects on the children, yeah you should.

But, get a coach and figure out how to say the truth.

And even before that watch this video on Orgasmic Meditation , as http://onetaste.us.

This is a 15 minute meditation, where the man, fully dressed, strokes extremely gently and with great attention, the upper left hand quadrant of the women's clitoris. She has her pants off and the rest of her clothes on. There is something called a "nest." It is always 15 minutes. The goal is to be goalless and experience whatever you experience.

Orgasm is not the same as climax.
Both partners will have an experience of orgasm.

This gets a couple where a lot of softness, forgiveness and truth can take place.

And
IT'S ONLY 15 MINUTES.

Worth it to stop living in hell and poisoning your soul, and the souls of your children?

If you don't think so, Lordie help you.

Or, me. Call for coaching. 360-317-4773
cheers on day one of the Sex Every Day- ithon.

Monday, June 24, 2013

What does Humanity Need?

What does humanity need?


I have couples go through this exercise, saying to each other,
while being present,
following their breathing,
looking each other in the eye:

"This is what I want for me.....
This is what I want for you....
This is what I want for us...."

To this, I think I'll now add:

"This is what I want for Humanity.....
This is what I want for the Earth......"

And here's the weird and wonderful part:

What I want for you, if I'm really thinking long game, and what's best for your life, this is what I want for humanity:
love
happiness
freedom
real sex
real connection

We are, you and I, playing a big game, this waking up and being true to ourselves and living in love and desire.
We are playing the game of leaving suffering behind.

And it can't be just for us, just you and me and a couple of our good sweet hot buddies and gals.
The whole world has had enough exploitation.
That we need to help end.

The whole worlds as had enough unhappiness because women's power, the power of her sexuality, the power of the creative and the messy and the earthy, and the confusing and the unknown, has been locked down and denied.

It's time to liberate ourselves and humanity and the Earth: get our hands in the soil, get our feet bare, waste time talking to our neighbors who live right next to us, mulch our gardens.

Even this,
a ramble if there ever was one:
it's a spilling out of that way of thinking:

everything matters,
the leaves you save instead of blow off and away
the crying your friend does that you enjoy and encourage
the confusion that you feel and honor
the truth you tell

the desire
the desire
the desire

to touch
talk
make out
OM
make love,
look in the eys
hold hands,
listen
listen
laugh,
go slow

we are all pieces of God
wanting to get back to each other

this is what I want for you
this is what I want for me
this is what I want for us
this is what I want for humanity
this is what I want for the Earth:

connection
in the present
with that which remains when all else disappears in
the present,
which is


love


cheers and happy Monday

Chris

Monday, June 10, 2013

After Nine Month: Orgasmic Birth (????)

Yesterday, I graduated from nine months of the most intense inner work of my life. And since it really was inner work, it was hell. Since it was real inner work, it involved death, the dropping off of the clung to not-me, and that was hard, hard, to say the least. and on the other side: heaven. For 10 weekends, one a month from September of 2012 until June of 2013, I've been flying from Austin to San Francisco to learn the art, science and magic of Orgasmic Meditation.

And what is Orgasmic Meditation you might ask?
Stick around and you'll be answered. If not today. Tomorrow or the next day.

This program was so full and rich and world destroying and life rebuilding that I'm going to post about it for 30 days straight. Today is June 10. The last post in this series will be July 10.

Who knows what I'll say, but I'll try to convey at least a little of the riches I have received every day.

okay, okay, what to say today:
you've heard it a lot: the truth will set you free.
i've seen and felt and experienced that many times over the last nine months.
sometimes, the simplest truth, like: "I would like some help" can, if expressed, be a life changer

so can the vulnerable truth in the present.
as in now: I want to convey to you the wonders of Orgasmic Meditation as a PRACTICE, as a daily engagement, that will lead you, as it has lead me, to greater and greater connection with others, and greater and greater opening to what I'm really feeling.

This is what I want for you today: to sense in your body, the sensation of you, right now. And to feel in your emotional self, what your emotional feelings are.
One kind of feeling: sensation ( I feel a warmth and fluttering in my chest and a constriction near my eyes) and as emotion ( I feel tender and tentative).

And if you want to ask yourself: how could I feel more, sense more, connect more?
This is what it feels like for me, now, after nine months: all these three keep expanding and expanding and expanding, more sensations, more emotions, more connection.

And what is OM, what is Orgasmic Meditation?
Starters: a 15 minute partner mediation, where the stroker ( usually a man, but not always) storkes, with the gentleness of the weight of 2 sheets of paper, the upper left hand quadrant of a woman's clitoris. With a timer. And rules to keep this just a mediation. And guidelines to use this to enrich and clear up your life.

It's simple, it unearths a life based on desire ( ie our real selves vs our should/shouldn't good/bad sevles), it increases attention, and connection.

How? Stay tuned.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

Grounded

 Being grounded, means pushing into belly and sternum and rooting in pelvis, and the we can push the head up.
This is learned. It's not a pre program. A huge part of the brain loves/ needs/ organizes around this.
Grounding is for real, until you can into outer space, and the phrase "spaced out," hints at more than might meet the feet.

Recently in a class I was taking, a comment about being grounded came up, and the suggestion was given  that this could be accomplished by sensing the genitals. I thought this nonsense, and want to go about showing how simple "grounded" is.

My prior intro, which delays the meat of the posting, is now at the end.
like a modern novel, or something.


Sensing one's genitals roots us in the sexual yum yum hum hum
of existence, but it doesn't ground us.

The human brain comes out of the birth canal at one fifth its
final size.

 
A huge amount of what the baby and her brain learn and
expand the first two years is movement,
and it's always movement in gravity,
which means learning to connect to gravity
and how pushing down with the belly allows the head to
lift to vertical that's crucial,

and that's part of learning to be "grounded."
To roll over, by pushing down here, and moving there, again, more connection to "ground"

And then crawling: standing on four limbs in crawling is a super duper
understanding of gravity and the ground in two hands, two wrist,
two shoulders, two hips, two knees. Our hands push into the ground, that holds the head and chest up. Our knees push into the ground, and that hold the butt up. As we crawl, we push backward into the ground to go forward.

no understanding of the ground: no crawling.

In fact, to those wanting to "get more grounded," crawling has a lot
to recommend itself.

As does walking barefoot on the good old Earth.

Grounding can be seen thru the lens of the four parts of One Taste,
mainly these three:

Simplicity:
the ground is the ground. Unless you are in space,
you are attracted to the Earth. It's pulling. You're pushing.
Where? Notice.

which is
Attention:
If sitting now, are hands and feet pressing down into something,
which is pushing back up?
Which side of your pelvis is most pressing down?
Are you leaning back? Then your back is being used as a foot,
which is a shitty use of the back, except when lying down.

The two sitz/ sit bones are good feet substitutes.
Leaning back, in primitive / survival conditions is an invitation: kill me.

Connection:
If standing, which part of the foot is connected to Earth, or to your shoe or sock
and how does that connection snake/ connect up through your skeleton to your head,
with the eyes and ears and the top?

Sitting, same: pelvic bones to butt flesh to clothes to chair to chair legs to floor, to ......
And up, pelvic to sacrum to spine to ribs, the shoulder blades and head

And so on

And the last guy:

Desire:
Well, desire to sit up straight can be a conditioned/ finishing school kind of thing,
and it can make you better on horses, if you need to attract an upper class mate,
or stand taller if you want to look better as a breeding partner,
and
there is this desire:

to not be dead


so it's like this:
conditioned sitting up straight: make others happy/ get approval

sit up to be able to move quickly: an inner happiness, freedom, vitality and survival thing

it's pretty deep,
but without grounding,
in the way of the world of most of humanity over most
of its existence: we get taken down

No grounding,

we get killed,
And there it goes:
no big limbic party fun

ah....
there's where the desire can have a lot of fun,


not just in survival,
but moving toward the object of our desire

  let's walk across the room to the one who turns you on....
every step is pressing back into the ground
to push through all your skeleton to
move your forward

simple shit
key to being alive

and attention can get finer and finer:
stand:
put weight on insides, outside of feet.
one inside, one outside.
mainly one foot.
mainly one foot and the big toe
mainly one foot and the ring toe

two feet and the toes of one foot and the heels of the other

sound familiar, this increasing of mindfulness by
attending to the details

sure


good

happy week
happy fall as fall in Austin

happy falling into grace
and now
and ground
and desire

where ever you are


Chris 


the original start:
I have a friend, a male friend,
with whom friendship is getting deeper and deeper.

We regularly say I love you.
It's a pants on kind of love, and deep, deep,
friendship to the core, to the mud, to the blood,
and
one
reason it's so strong is that I can occasionally tell him:
"I love you and you don't know what you're talking about."

(This you may recognize from Moonrise Kingdom,
which I've seen 3 times, which you can guess how much
I like. And this is perhaps my favorite line,
"I love you and you don't know what you are talking about.")

The recent not knowing was a cute and radically upbeat
idea of being grounded,
which was to sense one's genitals.

No.

Sensing one's genitals roots us in the sexual yum yum hum hum
of existence, but it doesn't ground us.

The human brain comes out of the birth canal at one fifth its
final size.