Day Eight: Laziness is Next to Godliness

 

I had a very fun teacher in the Gurdjieff work once. He smoked and swore and ate politically uncorrect 

and

would do all three while watching TV and use that occasion as a great place to practice meditation.

You remember the Gurdjieff meditation: what we’ve built up so far:

Sense both arms

Sense both legs

Pay attention to sound coming in from the world

Pay attention to reflected light coming in to your eyes

A nice way to watch television, or read the computer, or read a book, or watch a movie, or talk to a friend, or write a blog entry into the cyberworld.

So be it.

He had a name, which we’ll call David, and he had some great sayings:

One was

“Laziness is next to Godliness.”

An obvious play on the old

Cleanliness is next to Godliness, which is soooo Good, eh?

And did he mean don’t make efforts to remember yourself?

Skip to vigilance of paying attention?

Who knows.

He’s dead.

What do you think?

What do you think to juice of “Laziness is next to Godliness” is?

That’s your mindful practice today.

To be lazy in releasing certain “try harder” ways. To be lazy in releasing certain, “get this and this and this done, sooner than now” ways.

To be very lazy about speaking up on behalf of the Judge inside who wants to tell you that you aren’t “doing enough.”

To be super lazy about speaking up
inside or out
about how others should “get their act together.”

Be lazy on the advice to others.
Be lazy on saying what you think is so important, so

Important that you need to

Interrupt

Be lazy.

Listen.

Be lazy.

Wait.

Be present while listening.

Be present while waiting.

Be lazily present today.

That’s a nice present to yourself.

Latest Special Needs Children blog posting, and good "work/love" for us all

I've covered this before,
but the more I think and talk about these
six
the more I find them applicable to almost any
process of transformation.

Where transformation
is deep change,
brain rewiring
behavior changing
life altering change,
so not just the coating outside,
but change from the inside out.

And these six are the ingredients that
Dr. Dan Siegal came up with for helping a bipolar lad
to come out of his stuckness without drugs.

Here I'm oing to use them as stepstones
to more of what I like to emphasize:
this change for our children
can be so much more kind to ourselves
and them
if we see and allow ourselves to be in
transformation
as well.

So, what would the steps be for parents?

1. Good sleep

Well, sorry, this could be the hardest with certain children
and you know as well as I that deals can be made with
our mates,
and perhaps caretakers
to at least every other night get a good sleep.

AND
there is naps.
20 minutes, once or twice a day.
(Even in the office.
If they catch you, tell them to judge your
productivity increase
and suggest a nap for everyone)

And lying down,
for 5 minutes
on your back, or side
on a rug, some grass, any firm and useful surface.

Lie down, and move very slowly
with awareness and self-learning
and self-love,
as if you are giving AND getting a lesson
from and for yourself.

2. Good food
including brain food

Brain food includes omega 3 from eggs of chickens on pasture (not the same as free range,
which just means chickens in dirt), and grass fed meat and buffalo, and wild caught fish, and
flax seed, and if you are lucky, the weed purslane.

Brain food also includes high quality fats: raw butter or at least spring pasture butter, organic olive oil (they use disgusting chemicals in non organic production to kill extra olives), soaked nuts and seeds

I'd even include green smoothies as brain food.
I could be wrong, but I suspect not.

On the good food line, and I tell people this when they think my lessons "cost too much,"
How much more iron does organic spinach have than non organic?
80 times.
Not 8. EIGHTY TIMES.

3. Relationship
The way you touch, talk to, and think and talk about your child is fundamental to your relationship to her or him.

The way you touch, talk to, and think and talk about each other is once
more,
big surprise,
fundamental to your relationship.

It's no surprise, but sometimes worrisome, to realize how
stressful being a parent of a special needs child,
and in Austin, TX as least, there are lawyers who specialize
in divorces among these parents. Creepy perhaps, but a pointer
to the troubles.

So, what do I recommend.

Call me for counselling if you wish.

Do the work of Byron Katie, almost daily. (http://thework.com)

Talk to each other with a timer, taking turns,
3-3-3-3 4-4-4-4 or 5-5-5-5 minutes back and forth,
all listening, no interrupting when the other is talking

being present
looking the other in the eye
not nodding nor frowning, let them say it without your feedback,
even non verbal
send love when listening
send love when talking
look in the eye when talking
go slow
take a breath
take many breaths
say what you are "afraid to say"
be vulnerable
make all I statements (I am scared when you...., not You shouldn't)
and as much as possible talk about yourself and leave the other out of your side of the talk
BUT
if there is an "issue," make sure to give yourself at least a half an hour to deal with

it's a lot quicker in the long run
than a divorce and an unhappy child/ children

4. Novelty
Buy Anat's dvds and do them at least twice a week
Buy my book and do one of the games at least once a day
Go to the Feldy blog site and find "movement lessons" label and do one a day
Write in a journal each day with the left hand
do something different every day
be present, then novelty will spring up all around you

5. exercise
stand up, touch the ground (knees bending all you want,)
touch the sky
five minutes,
huge variety,
huge pleasure
lots of shifts of weight
pay attention fingertips to toes to spine to ribs to pelvis to heartbeat
to breathing
love yourself

take a walk each day

touch your partner, lovingly, each day

6. Mindfulness:
Do all the above while sensing your arms and legs
and following your breathing

if you can

do everything with a chunk of your awareness in the present

meditate a bit each day
(get my book,
or just sit and breathe and follow breathing
and count the breaths one to ten,
and sense spine and arms and legs as well)

five to twenty minutes

make a gratitude list:
be mindful as you think and feel about it

okay,
that's a pretty nice essay, isn't it.

Have a great week.

love
Chris

Why Be Aware?

Why Be Aware?

This is a silly question,
except if we are running around
in one of our usual
daze
days.

And then, in a pause say,
or walking across a lawn,
or talking to someone
and realizing we are just pumping
up inside getting all ready
to spring our next
over used download,

or putting off someone
who might love
desire
need
real
attention
in the real moment

and suddenly,
we realize:
OMG (I learned that recently,
teenage talk, slang: Oh MY God,
said as one word, OHMYGOD)
I have been on autopilot
the last...ten minutes,
hour,
day,
week.

And then we are aware
of ourselves,
in this moment.

Something shifts.
That can be our game today:
what shifts,
how?

Does moving slowly
in the Feldenkrais
patterns
help that
waking to now?

Try it:
connect to gravity
and from awaring of that,
moving some part of you,
gently, easily
and see what else that shifts,
and how it involves
and possibly shifts
your use of gravity.

Rest.

Move another part of you,
thinking
and awaring of the first
while you move and aware
on
the second.

Rest.

Play with combinations.

See what happens.

See how awareness
and awaring
come into your life
while you do this.

Enjoy.

And then,
see how awaring can be the
main game of your day,
today.

Good.