Want a great relationship: Tell the truth. All of it.

Another great photo by Michelle, at mischelle@zahavah.com

I am attracted to .....

I get jealous when you...

I forgot to tell you that .......

I have this feeling that.....

Something is bothering me, and I don't know what it is....

My stomach feels weird.....

I've been feeling that something is missing.....

I had a dream about......

This used to turn me on, but something is changing.

I need time to myself.

I want to talk about my life purpose. I need a listener.

I feel like we are forgetting something important.

Who am I really?

Who are you?


And so on...

If you want a fantastic relationship: tell the truth.
All of the truth.

Good.

PS:

Anat Baniel's New Book:

Kids Beyond Limits

is out, published.

If you have a friend with a special needs child,

or a brain

that wouldn't mind getting smarter

or

a body

that wouldn't mind feeling younger, happier, sexier, more comfortable and "smart"

get the book.

I am alive, you are alive, deepening the relationship, day two

Day Two is a deepening of day one.
Here's the exercise.
Go slow. Go slowly. Go slower.

If you are alone. Think of another person. Someone you love. Someone you hate. Someone you want to feel better about. Someone you want to understand better. Someone you want to help. Someone you think has "done you wrong."

Pick just one person, and imagine them in front of you while you do this. Imagine looking into each others' eyes.

1. Breathe.
Follow your breathing.
Notice the other person's breath.
Match their breathing.

This will be shorthanded in the following as:
Breathe.
Notice.
Match.

After matching for awhile:
Say: "I am alive."
And then match breathing a bit more.
Say: "You are alive."
Match.

2. Now, in one sentence increments say:
"This is what it's like being alive, right now."
Only report on your immediate experience.

If thoughts of the past come up, say, frustration at work,
do not say,
"To be alive right now is to be frustrated at work."
Say: "To be alive right now is to have memories/ thoughts of work, and when I have those thoughts I feel ....."

Between each reporting of your life in the moment, go back to
Breathe.
Notice.
Match.

Then say the next: "This is what it is to be alive right now."

Do this three or four sentences, but no more.

Then just be quiet and notice you aliveness
AND their aliveness.

3. Say this truth:
"I am going to die someday."
Breathe.
Notice.
Match.
"You are going to die someday."
Breathe.
Notice.
Match.

4. And then one more sentence:
"This is what it is like to be alive right now....."

5. A final
Breathe.
Notice.
Match.

And then trade turns.

Go slow.
Did I say that.
Go slower and be present.

Let this sink in.
This is all you really need to know.
So, in case you missed the hints: go slowly, and
Breathe.
Notice.
Match.

Good.

How to be Happy, part twenty two

(Two men, John and Chris, on the Earth, above Sonoma Calif, playing with rocks even though they aren't kids anymore, or maybe they are, in part of their hearts/ souls/ bodies)

Once upon a time I read a book
just because the title was so obnoxious
I had to prove to my smart ass self
how ridiculous and assholish the author had
to be.

Not, for the first time in my life,
I was wrong, way wrong.

The book, and title were:
How to Argue & Win Every Time: At Home, At Work, In Court, Everywhere, Everyday

Looks like this:


Buy it if you want:

Here's what I remember:

The guys was cool, won a zillion good guy cases
for the environment,
or even taking on "unpopular" causes like Imelia Marcos.

And his methods were two that stood out:

One: when he wanted to center and clear his mind
and discover what he really needed to know
and
say,
he'd go out in
Nature,
take off his shoes, circle around
on the Earth
and let the truth
or insight come to him.

Two: when talking to the jury,
he used honesty,
as in:
"I'm really nervous, because I really want to win
this case for my client,
and I think this is really important,
and I'm afraid I won't give a good enough argument."

Or something like that.


And then,
he had a bit of sweet wisdom toward the end:

in an argument with someone you love:
Lose the Darned Argument.

Let her/ him be right.

Hey: wise up folks, remember the beaten down look on
your so-called "loved one's" face when you won
an argument.

Is that love: getting them that horrible look
and feeling?

Ans:
No.

So, hey:

dance in nature

speak truth

look at your loved one when arguing and think, feel and know:
what do I / we really want.

Good luck
Good love
Good Earth


Chris