Fear of change

Ah, us humans

we come across opportunities to change
we give ourselves the idea that it is time to stop being stuck
we know we can be so much more

and then..
the darn old change
doesn't come with the end result right away

there are setbacks
we lose our nerve
we have habits we don't want to give up

we have habits we don't want to see

we are afraid
when things start to get better
we are afraid, strangely enough,
and, again, ah so human,

of things getting far better than we are used to

we are uncomfortable without our
usual level of discomfort

things seem strange.



ah, they are

strange means grown up
means, not the way the family or the tribe
prepared us to box in
and constrain

strange means
new

new
means
now

even this now

what strange and wonderful..

feelings?
sensations?
even ideas (vs the same old same old thoughts)
can we come into connection with?

in this now?

if we sat down to write
about this,

sensing as we wrote
and loving each moment as
it came up and through us

what would we find?

I don't know,
but I'm going to go journal and find out.


what will you do?

I don't know.

Thursday, September 7: Change's weird requirement: We actually change

A letter I wrote back to a fine person
who is skitting in and out of being involved,
and who wrote

"I'll catch up with you some other time for another appointment"

and
I wrote:

" This phrase
sounds almost like the famous...."I'll think about it...."
which means... later to the point of infinity.

The ordinary part of us all wants
to always do
what we always did.
And then,
if that doesn't work,
and we stumble or crumble into
pain or trouble,
we want, magically, to
have the pain go away
and have the
"fix-it," "make it all go away"
change
happen
without our really doing anything different.

The human lot:
"Please let me change,
as long as I don't have to
change anything."


This is ordinary
and keeps us coming again
and again
to the stuck points that
the outside cures don't address.

On, the inner hand
I'm looking for extra-ordinary people
and the extra-ordinary person in you
who want(s) to change enough
to actually be willing to change.

Which requires
actually doing things
and thinking things
and organizing in
new ways.

More fun ways,
more efficient ways,
less painful ways,
more pleasurable ways.

But different.
Change requires change.

So, if you are up for that,
"catch up" with me more sooner than later.


ciao
chris"