Forgiveness 101: Other people are shits

This was going to be some fancy summary, but I haven't eaten all day, trying out Ramadan, which in Austin, in July means not eating from 6:36 in the morning until 8:36 at night.
A tidy 14 hours.
Blah.

And a good time to remember how annoying others are:

They don't appreciate us.
They don't consider us in their decisions, or there use of word.
They don't give us enough time, or attention.
They don't return our calls.
They aren't present when we are with them.
They say rough and tough and even mean stuff.
They yell at us.
Or leave us.
Or leave us and come back and leave us and come back.
And leave us.

They are annoying.

And, of course, we are perfect.

So the forgiveness thing is just a glorified case of :
do you want to be right,
or do you want to be happy

First you start with realizing that you are a person,
and these annoying people are people.

And we're all selfish, forgetful, not appreciative enough, or considerate enough, or whatever whatever sometimes.

So, when other people pull this on us,
we can make a request: next time could you do this
a wee bit
( or a lot) different.

But for now:
it's done, and we can resent and be tweeked by them by the kind of human
being we are sometimes,
or we can try out the last two questions of the Byron Katie work:

who are we, when we plug the "they should have been different" thought into are head

and who are we when we don't have that thought in our head.

Just try to two out.

See where we want to live.

Go back and forth.

No "letting go" required.

Just try out the attached and believing our story version,
and the not believing our story,
or not having a thought in our mind version.

Then chose.

So, it's not condoning, nor letting the others off the hook since we are so kind and wise and forgiving.

It's just enjoying life more without the story/ thought/ belief self injected into our brain, and from there, usually, our heart.

It feels beter to "let it go," and it's not even "letting it go," it's just living without the story, thought, belief in our mind.

What's left?

It's a big world out there, once we are free.

Maybe we'll find something great to do.

Sensing the moment, the Gurdjieff meditation, mullings on forgetting and remembering and the "good life"

 A dogwood tree from Sonoma, CA (not Sedona, AR,

but cool at night down in the fifties, thirty miles from the Pacific ocean,

grape growing heaven, Sonoma)

which I thought was "too hot."
Little did I know "hot" till I moved to Austin,

where flowers struggle and somehow,

amazingly, 

people thrive.

Sitting in the present We almost all have legs and arms
My wrists are perched on the desk now, fingers tapping in various letters

We have legs and feet and toes
My feet are bare, it's summer here in Austin,
and hot, inching up in the nineties and it's not noon yet.
But one foot wasn't flat on the floor and with awareness,
I notice that, and now both are and strangely
enough,
but no real surprise,
I breathe easier with both feet on the floor.

Arms
Legs
Light
Sound

This is the Gurdjieff meditation.
It's simplicity itself, being in our bodies
and aware of the world at the same time,
like any relaxed and normal animal,
and real and happy child.

To be alive.

Light is coming in my eyes,
part from the computer screen,
part from the window to my right,
part the reflected light off the wall behind the computer.

Light comes in my eyes,
and I can almost sense that coming in-ness if I pay attention to
my face and head
and sensing the eyes brings awareness to the poise
or not
of my head
and that brings me to my spine,
holding up my head.

Spine and head
Arms
Legs
Light
Sound

Cars go by.
The neighbor walks upstairs.
The keys make sounds as I type,
some humming in the building.

Life goes on.

To be in arms and spine and legs and toes
and
light
and sound

is a very full meditation,

one that can be done all day

and here's the thing:

when I forget,
I can get "down" on myself
for forgetting
or get happy I remembered to come back
to the present

or curious how that reawakening happened

or grateful that it did

staying present is its own reward
and how we treat ourselves in the forgetting and remembering
thing
is a good
way to learn self love

which,
of course,
is a good way to learn
"other people"
love

for they, too,
will forget their best and most awakened selves

ah, the light is still here
and the page is white with black marks that we decipher,
brains and all,
as letters,
and words,
and as you read

you have the same setup as I do,
the same possibility:

light
sound
spine
arms
legs

breathing too,
a nice addition to the being alive
and know
ing
in the now
we are alive thing

(and the voice creeps in:
this is not enough....

and the voice, ah, that's another story,
these inner voices,
but while it's saying whatever it's saying
I can still sense fingers
and arms
and legs
and toes
and aware myself avail myself
feed myself
the light
the sound
the now


good

breathing, too

ah