Sex Every Day, day 1

We are in relationships, if we are for real, for three reasons: good sex. Good talk. Mutual development. The betterment of the world.

That's four. Not really, because mutual betterment includes the betterment of the world.

There will be plenty of discussion over the month  about the whole shebang of a great relationship, ( we'll kickstart this blog, with a daily post all the days in July)
but let's start here:

Why waste your time in relationship if it isn't a great one?

This too is a great topic, and includes: fear of being alone, expectations of others, taking care of the kids .

Sticking it out for the kids is a half good excuse except for this: it's mean to the kids for them to grow up around people who don't know how to love each other.

Guess what? If Mommy doesn't love Daddy, and Daddy doesn't love Mommy, what happens to the kids, who are at least a third Mommy and a third Daddy and a third their own selves.

No matter which parent they are around they are going to pick up an antagonism that has only one way to go: self hatred.

So, hey, the solution is: get the relationship together or get out.

And it's not that hard to get the relationship together, if you have ..... guess what? SEX EVERY DAY.


Wait, wait, people in shitty relationships will complain: we have to like each other more, or clear up our junk or all that hooey, before we'll even consider sex once a week, let alone, SEX EVERY DAY.

Well, guess what: I can coach any couple through getting rid of ALL resentments, and learning to really listen and empathize in communication, but believe it or not, SEX EVERY DAY, is the easiest way to clear out the rubbish.

Well, second easiest: first each has to start sharing TRUTH that has been hidden, i.e. to be VULNERABLE.

Oh, gad, what am I asking. Sex Every Day? Vulnerability? Might as well shoot ourselves.

Well, except for the effects on the children, yeah you should.

But, get a coach and figure out how to say the truth.

And even before that watch this video on Orgasmic Meditation , as http://onetaste.us.

This is a 15 minute meditation, where the man, fully dressed, strokes extremely gently and with great attention, the upper left hand quadrant of the women's clitoris. She has her pants off and the rest of her clothes on. There is something called a "nest." It is always 15 minutes. The goal is to be goalless and experience whatever you experience.

Orgasm is not the same as climax.
Both partners will have an experience of orgasm.

This gets a couple where a lot of softness, forgiveness and truth can take place.

And
IT'S ONLY 15 MINUTES.

Worth it to stop living in hell and poisoning your soul, and the souls of your children?

If you don't think so, Lordie help you.

Or, me. Call for coaching. 360-317-4773
cheers on day one of the Sex Every Day- ithon.

A great relationship

A great relationship has at least these four elements:

- Great and consistent communication

- Great and consistent sex

- Unconditional love

- A big job



Let's have some fun and go one by one:

Great and consistent communication means:
- Every day
- You can say anything
- You do say everything, no secrets
- You speak in the present
- You speak truth ("I am angry" is truth. "You make me angry" is a lie)
- You go to vulnerable, and admit: "I'm afraid to say this.."
- And then you say it
- You have a method, or a practice of long periods where one talks and the
other does not interrupt
- You are learning to have no words in your head, and no rehearsal of
responses as the other talks
- You listen in the PRESENT


Great and consistent sex means:
- Every day ( relax, it can be a 15 minute Slow Sex meditation)
See OneTaste.us, the demo video
- Not necessarily climax oriented
- Playful
- Variable
- If a two way practice, eyes open
- Communicating desire, sensation
- Reversible: not a runaway train, until it is
- Full of any and all communication
- Total commitment to sensation in the PRESENT

Unconditional love means:
- All resentments are gone
- 100% gone
- You can think of the "worst" the other ever did
and feel love in your heart
and feel a smile coming to your face
- You "look forward" to their doing whatever it is
that the "it" in you, the conditioned and it's all about me-me-me
self in you (ego) is most annoyed by
- You look forward to new discoveries of their imperfection,
because that's your imperfection

- If it's ten minutes old, it's history. Living life awake and in the PRESENT.
- Humor about "I'm imperfect, you're imperfect and that's perfect" 
- Gratitude around that


A big job can mean:
- Raising a sane, present, playful, happy, creative amazing child or children
- Supporting the best in each other
- Building a house, farm, community together
- Writing a book together, starting a company
- Sharing your deepest dreams and helping each other toward them
Such as
- Helping each other shift to a new job, fitness program, creative endeavor, etc
- Committing to mutual enlightenment
- Committing to "saving the Earth" without getting grumpy along the way
- Creating an organic, eco and truth community together
- Making and giving away millions to the places you want change to happen
- Ongoing every day every moment happiness for yourself and the other 
- Committing to humorously helping each other live in the PRESENT 

- Keeping up the daily sex, daily communication and daily resentment release
- Spreading your happiness and sanity to the world

Want a great relationship: Tell the truth. All of it.

Another great photo by Michelle, at mischelle@zahavah.com

I am attracted to .....

I get jealous when you...

I forgot to tell you that .......

I have this feeling that.....

Something is bothering me, and I don't know what it is....

My stomach feels weird.....

I've been feeling that something is missing.....

I had a dream about......

This used to turn me on, but something is changing.

I need time to myself.

I want to talk about my life purpose. I need a listener.

I feel like we are forgetting something important.

Who am I really?

Who are you?


And so on...

If you want a fantastic relationship: tell the truth.
All of the truth.

Good.

PS:

Anat Baniel's New Book:

Kids Beyond Limits

is out, published.

If you have a friend with a special needs child,

or a brain

that wouldn't mind getting smarter

or

a body

that wouldn't mind feeling younger, happier, sexier, more comfortable and "smart"

get the book.