Friday, June 30, 2017

What's Best? What's Worst? Would you LOVE to go up a few notches in four places?

What’s best in your life?
What’s second best?
What would your life be like if they both went up a couple of notches?

What’s worst in your life?
What’s second worst?
What would your life be like if those both went up a couple of notches.

Love, Lust and Enlightenment  coaching is for real people who want to wake up to now and transform at both ends of their life. 
Transform from from good to fabulous at the top end. 
Transform from stymied to fabulous at the bottom end.

Central to all transformation is this: waking up to the present.

Text the number on this page if you'd like a free sample session of exploring what up several notches in four places would mean for your life.


Wednesday, June 28, 2017

How to Wake up before you get up

Waking Up vs. Getting Up
Waking Up as an Awareness Game
Moving in your Chair as an Awareness Game
Neck, eyes and toes and the delight of Now?

When you wake up in the morning, how could you activate your awareness and ease before you get up in your body?

Here’s a quick and easy way:

Movement One: Move your head easily right and left.
Breathe and enjoy this.
Feel/ sense the back of your head moving on the bed.
Feel/ sense your neck moving.
Always go less rather than more.
Always go slow rather than fast.
Always go with ease rather than effort.

Do this eight times.

Later we can add on sensing the right leg, right arm, left arm, left leg as part of this.

For now though:

Are you doing this sitting or standing, too?
If yes, good.
If no, great, and ….do it.
The neck is integral to survival of the human species. For millions of years, those who could pay better attention side to side survived far better than those who couldn’t.


Movement Two: Eyes fixed, right and left with your nose
With eyes open or eyes closed, look straight ahead, and keep your gaze fixed there, as you rotate your head right and left.
Rotate it less far.
Rotate with more ease and slowness and pleasure.
Sense and notice the difference in your nervous system as you rotate your head with out the automatic and very useful synchronicity to your eyes.

Again, at least eight times. Perhaps twelve.

Rest and smile.
Again, do this in bed third thing in the morning, or do it right now.

Movement Three: Head one way, eyes the other
Again rotate your head, perhaps even more slowly now, and even less effort, and more enjoyment.

This may be hard, or a little crazy making.
Do smaller movements with both the head and eyes.

Again, humans who had coordinated head and eyes were the ones happiest and most likely to survive.
Breathing deeply and easily while you do this will help this new and non-habitual movement become part of your life. 

Rest. Smile. Feel yourself in the bed, or in your chair or standing. Wherever you are, feel the upgrade to your nervous system and to your YOU by using your awareness to move with attention, ease and delight.

Movement Four: Moving toes right and left with your head
Time to add on the feet in you are in your bed.
Leave the eyes out of the equation for a bit. More your head right and left, very slowly and with a lot of awareness, ease and delight.
As you move your head right and left, move your feet, the toe part, right and left as if they are windshield wipers.
Head right, toes right.
Head left, toes left.

In bed this is extremely relaxing and clues in your mind and awareness to the top of you and the bottom of you, and gives you a feeling of the fullness of you.

If you are sitting: Same. Rotate on the heels of your feet, toes right as your head goes right, and toes left at your head goes left. In sitting this does’t activate your hip as it does in bed, and that’s okay: you are still speaking out your attention to the toes and the neck at the same time.

Movement Five: Head one way, toes the other 
Toes right as your head goes left.
Toes left as your head goes right.

In bed the activates the whole spine in a very subtle way.
In sitting this activates the who brain in a very pleasant way.

Smile and rest.

Movement Six: Head one way, eyes and toes the other 
Toes left. Head right. Eyes left.
Go slowly. It’s as if your eyes are following your toes.

And then, slowly, slowly, breathing and delighting:
Toes right, Head left, Eye right (as if following your toes)

Do this a bunch of times. At least twelve.
Go slowly until it’s a charm.

Movement Seven: Easy — head and toes and eyes all the same.

Head and eyes and toes left.
Head and eyes and toes right.

Feel the fullness of you.
Feel your spine.
Feel the ease in your neck.
Soften your breathing.

Feel both arms and both legs and the fullness of you.
Enjoy this.


Now you are ready to stretch a bit in bed and get up.
Or, now you are ready to get back to your computer and be more full and amazing in your life.

Hint: if you have done this from the sitting up world, you might want to take a walk before you get back to texting or to the computer or whatever your regular day commands.

If you found this from a link on Facebook, I’d suggest skipping Facebook for the next couple hours in favor of being present in your body.


Saturday, June 24, 2017

An A++ relationship. Is that for you?

This is a book for those who are in a relationship that is pretty good, and are ready and willing to go to fabulous.

This is a book for those who have a pretty good life, and are ready and excited to be present and happy almost full time. What if you went up two notches in Everything about your already pretty great life?

This is a book for those who wish to go from being “alone” and wishing for a fabulous mate, to finding and cultivating a fabulous relationship as you discover who and what you are together in the present and joy.

This is a book for amazing people ready to be more amazing. 
This is a book for people headed toward an A++ relationship and marriage as central to your life.

Perhaps this is you.
Let’s not wait. Now is the time to delight in the now. 

Come to the present right now.
Sense your body. Feet, hands, arms, legs. 

Think of a gratitude or two.
Take a deeper breath and feel yourself expanding.

Does that begin to wake up your connection more to the real you?
Then this book is for you.

What makes for an A++ relationship?
Six areas, at least, and in coaching this is a six month process at least.

In the book, over the next three weeks you can begin to play many “games” that will take you well on the way to creating the fabulous love, friendship and marriage that you deserve.
And, if you are “alone,” many of the games will lead you to better and better and better connection to the present and to your body and to various other people in your life.

The six areas of A ++  relationship.

Ability to be silent together, and deeply enjoy that.
“Be still and know I am God.”

Meditation a few times a day, for short or long periods. 
Gratitude, love and awareness as one form of meditation.
Silence as another form.
Deep breathing and visualization as another form.
Smiling and being present as another form.
Discovering WHO YOU REALLY ARE as the main form.

Playing the game: how to talk and not go unconscious.
Talking, listening, pausing, really listening: in the present.
Deep enjoyment and connection in daily communication

Being in your body, the 90% below the neck, almost 90% of the time.

No complaining.
Gratitudes spoken often.
Forgiveness as a ready and easy process. All resentments cleared and gone.

Asking for what you want.
Delighting with yes or no as an answer.
Lots of hugs.
Lots of handing hands.
Lots of listening. 

3. FUN
Entertainment as pleasant, not numbing out. I.e., just as happy without alcohol, as with alcohol. No need for overeating and deserts as fake happiness. Just as happy at home as at the movies.
Taking a walk: a big and easy thrill.
Fun at home, fun away from home.
Playful and spontaneous, discovering new ways to relate and enjoy each other. Spontaneous discovery of “games” for your own life.

What is learning? Noticing a new difference that makes a difference.
A life of ongoing learning. Every day. In many delightful ways.
Living in the land of learning: the new and the now and awareness of differences that make a difference.

Discovery as constant.
Presence and happiness and learning all creating fun.
Getting younger and younger in body movement and mind.

Better parenting.
Easier and more effective “saving the world.”
Freedom from fear and anger and guilt as we delight and succeed in this.
Smart and happy in charity and local generosity.
Having a big meaning and purpose for your family.

At least three different possibilities. (Not positions. Two one way, one both). 
One of these three every day, or almost every day.
Sex as being present, and learning, and love, and orgasm, and meditation.
Present and able to handle better and sweeter and more pleasurable sensations than ever before.

Able to talk through stuck points.
Delighting in the “learning” from things not so great this last time.
Enjoying the moment, the touch, the connection.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Our Vows

Carol and I met on March 24, 2015.

We struck up a friendship based on her love of learning and my ability in the Feldenkrais Method ® and Anat Baniel Method, to take advantage of brain plasticity to assist people who want to move with more ease, grace and coordination. And eliminate back, neck and shoulder pain.

And then on June 20, anniversary coming up tomorrow, we spent an hour and a half lunch meeting than turned into twelve hour "non-date" where we listened and listened and listened to each other.

We shared Bible verses we loved.

We watch Brene Brown's TED talk on vulnerability twice.

We kissed a bit.

We realized we'd found our life partner.

Soon came a proposal: life partner is LIFE.

Then a marriage, that took a LOT of planning.

And had the goal of being transformative.

And was.

And part of that marriage was our vows, which we now say to each other almost daily as we lean against a wall and do "being present/ energy/ happiness" exercises.

We take turns saying the first eight. From memory.

Not necessarily in order, but we know when we've done eight.

Then, number nine, the super vow, we say together.

Almost every day.

And it's coming true.

And what is vow #9?




We say that after we've remembered and usually improvised a bit on these eight.

#1: We are supporting each other in the pursuit of the Divine Life Energy, which we experience as
Humor &

#2: We are cherishing our life together and treating each other as PRECIOUS GIFTS.

#3: We are delighting in the WONDER OF LIFE, and constantly sharing our GRATITUDE with each other and the world.

#4: We commit to slowly down when we get unhappy, to taking a deep breath and coming back to the present and to God, and asking ourselves: do I want to be right, or do I want to live in

#5: We are PRESENT, VULNERABLE & PRESENT in our words and behavior.

#6. We connect to NATURE for daily nourishment. (Outside nature. In our bodies nature.)

#7: We know that LOVE is at the center of all life.

#8: We are fully committed to SUPPORTING each other reaching our HIGHEST POTENTIALITY and MAKING A DIFFERENCE in HEALING THE EARTH & HUMANITY.

#9. We are JOYFULLY
creating a


that is getting
Better and
Better and

They are all about love, or presence or service or what to do when we fall astray.
They are great.

You are great.

If you want to create a love, friendship and marriage that is getting better and better and better, text me at 360-317-4773 for a free 40 minute sample session.

Coaching is a six month process.


Friday, June 16, 2017

Better Sex, Better Breathing, Anti-Aging... Moving your pelvis with awareness, learning and delight

Week One, Day Two: Lust
Lust as Moving the Pelvis with Awareness
And Moving yourself with awareness and vacation 
And being in the moment, in the body, in movement
And… remembering happy kids: movement is a food of delight

When I was fifty-four I walked into a weekend workshop expecting to go from being in “pretty good” shape for my age to coming out of the weekend feeling like I was twelve years old again. 
I was 54, right? This “meant” (didn’t it?) putting up with a certain amount of neck, back and shoulder “creakiness”. From the weekend workshop, I expected a SLIGHT shift in all this, since I’d already had great experience with this amazing work called the Feldenkrais Method®..
What I didn’t expect was what happened: I came out of the weekend feeling like I was 12 years old again.
And with a whole new aim in my life: to learn this miracle “method” and help others to have these shifts in their body.
This weekend was a sneak preview of a four year training ( 8 thirty hour weeks a year) that changed my body and rekindled my ability to “learn how to learn” and gave me wonderful skills with anyone getting creaky, or musicians wanting to go to the next level, or special needs children, or anyone with a back, neck or shoulder “issue.” 
( see, in which I got certified after the four years of training,  or it’s even more advanced friend, which I went on to study for another five years and get certified in as well.)
Back then, I didn’t know that the way this works paves the way for great shifts in the mind and your life, too, but I found out.
Boy did I find you.

This was in the fall, late fall of 1999. 
This was a weekend workshop in the “Feldenkrais Method®
It had been discovered over fifty years earlier by Moshe Feldenkrais, who has been called “the movement genius of the 20th Century,” by Normal Doidge, MD, author of the book, The Brain that Changes Itself.
Moshe had been the first non Asian teacher of judo in Europe. 
And had a PhD in science/ physics and engineering from the Sorbonne in Paris.
And had walked out of his Polish ghetto in 1918, at fourteen years old, and walked, first alone, and then with a ragtag group of inspired Jews, mainly other “children,” to Palestine, to create a life for himself.
His knees got wrecked, and a prospective surgeon told him he had a fifty-fifty chance of being crippled if they operated.
Moshe scoffed, “I’m a scientist. I can flip a coin for fifty-fifty.”
So he needed to invent his own cure.
He did, and it was revolutionary. It was based on learning, not on the usual “do it this way” or “get stronger here” or “do these twenty exercises” mode of all other physical modalities. The was learning at it’s most organic and non-verbal, the kind of learning that shifts a child’s whole life when they go from not-crawling to crawling.
Moshe was able to recover, walk well again, and eventually do judo with great skill into his seventies.

The method is based around good movement.
Which doesn’t come from “doing it right.”
But from discovery, awareness, and variation.
The brain gets rewired.
Like a baby.

Think about babies.
No verbal concepts.
No internal wiring of how to roll over, sit up, crawl, talk, walk.
They learn by “trying this and that”. And Learning.

What is learning?
Noticing a difference that makes a difference.

This is what you are going to do today: move with awareness.
And learning.
You rewrite your circuitry, which is real learning, which is noticing differences.
How do you notice differences?

How to notice differences = learn ….
Go slowly, 
use less effort, 
pay attention, 
have interesting movement to pay attention to by doing things many ways.
call that variation if you wish, or
non-habitual movement, or
Search for a find the pleasure in every moment. And every movement.
Search for something slightly new and interesting in each movement.

Enough of the preview, let’s get the pelvis engaged.
It’s fairly obvious that a more aware and facile and happy pelvis will lead to more aware and facile and happy sex, right?
Less obvious is the enlightenment upgrade. And when we get our awareness out of our heads, and those endless words, and into the body below the neck, we are starting towards enlightenment. And awareness below the navel, down to the feet, and definitely including the pelvis: this too, is a way of coming into the Nature of being a real human.

This movement is slow.
Great sex will often be slow.
This movement helps us feel our pelvis as what it is: integral to a whole long and wonderful spine, and connected to our ribs and our head and our breathing.
This is fun, this is you, this is more of you, in more awareness with more ease and delight.
Let’s go….

Lust Game #1: Sit at the forward edge of a chair, and reach for the floor.
No straining.
No “trying.”
This is to test your ability and mobility before the learning takes place.

Lust Game #2:  Round Your Back
Sit in a firm chair, near the front.
Both feet on the floor.
Back more or less upright. Don’t try for “good posture,” or any such hooey, but do resist the urge to turn the chair into a semi-bed by leaning against the back of it. (I know, I know, we love to do this. AND more than half the adults in this country have back pain at some time in their life. This is related. Later on how and why.)
Put one hand on your sternum.
Put the other hand on your belly.

Do this movement at least six times:

Begin to drop your head toward your seat.
Allow your back to “slump.”
Feel your sternum come down and even help a little with your hand.
Let your belly come in. Help a little bit with the hand on the belly.
Help a little more by breathing out as you pull your belly in.
Feel your back rounding, as if your head might want to come down  to your lap.
You may feel your weight shifting on your pelvis.
Let your eyes lower.
Relax your neck, as if your chin might “slump” to your chest.
Feel as if you are “letting go” of all the cares of the world.
Feel as if you are “letting go” of all those words in your head.
Feel yourself as a body, rounding in your back.

Then come back to “upright” / neutral.

And round down, with all the above steps.

Again, and again.
At least six times.

How to do this six or more times?
Recall from above, and we’ll print it again, because these shifts will change EVERYTHING YOU DO!!!

How to notice differences = learn ….
Go slowly, 
use less effort, 
pay attention, 
have interesting movement to pay attention to by doing things many ways.
call that variation if you wish, or
non-habitual movement, or
Search for a find the pleasure in every moment. And every movement.
Search for something slightly new and interesting in each movement.

Rest often, and with awareness:
What has changed, so far.
It doesn’t need to be verbal awareness. But a physical sense at least: what has shifted and gotten easier, softer, more alive, more at ease.
Look easily.
You’ll find something.
Smile as you look.
Smile as you find.

Lust Game #3 : Arch Your Back

Move the belly hand to the small of your back.
Leave one hand on your sternum.
Start more or less upright at the front of your chair and enjoy/ learn from/ delight in this movement at least six times:

Push your belly forward as the start of this arching.
Breathe in as if filling your belly
Push your lower back forward with the hand that is behind your lower spine.

Allow and encourage your head and sternum to lift.
Feel and even help the sternum lift with the hand that is on it.

Feel a shape in your spine where the middle is going forward a bit and the top and the bottom seem to be going “back” a little.
Imagine looking at yourself from the left side: your spine would be something like a crescent C shape.
Feel if you can, how your weight shifts in how your pelvis contacts your chair.
Raise your sternum, with your hands a bit, to accentuate this arch.
Lift your nose a little toward the heights, but not too far. This isn’t a “stretch.” It wants to feel like a comfortable lengthening of your spine.
Smile even a little, if you wish.

Feel the breathing in and belly forward and arching and weight shift on your pelvis and sternum lifting as all one whole.
Feel how good this feels.

Come back to neutral and repeat at least six times.
With enjoyment.
And curiosity.
Awareness and learning is the game.
Let yourself feel good.
Enjoy being in your body.

This is your spine.
This is your breathing.
This is your pelvis.
This is your body.

This is you.


Lust Game #4: Arching and rounding together.

For at least six times, combine these two movements:

Belly in
Hand on belly in
Breathing out

Sternum down
Hand on sternum down
Head down
Neck “slumping”
Eyes toward your belly or seat

Feel, if you can, a shifting of weight in your pelvis

Belly out
Hand on the lower back pushes forward
Air in

Sternum up
Hand on sternum up
Eyes up a bit, (not too much, keep the neck “soft”)

Do all movements:
With as little effort at possible
With as much pleasure as possible
With learning/ noticing something new each movement
Without verbal learning
Notice the differences:

In spine shape
In pelvis position
In belly position
In sternum position
In breathing
In your neck


Feel the combination of 
Back Shape 
Pelvis weight shifting as the start and origin of this

Do this over and over for
Connection to Down there

This is a great game to play anytime in any day.
Even right now, reading this book.
And if you haven’t done the two games yet: why not?

We have a habit of only “doing” our bodies in gyms or running or yoga.
But all day, every day, we are in our body.
And all day, and every day, this pelvis that was the key to the judo that Moshe Feldenkrais knew so well. And it’s the key to almost all full movement you will make.
It merges the bottom of legs, with the top of spine/ ribs/ arms and head.
It is the seat of sitting.
It’s the hot spot of one kind of great sex.
It’s the power point to powerful punching or throwing or jumping or dancing or…. you name it. Skiing, tennis, baseball.
It’s the biggest bone in the body, to which attach the biggest muscles.
When we watch a dancer of great charm and ease and grace, this almost always comes from their pelvis.

This pelvis is there with us.
Right now.

Children love to move.
So do you.
Discover this. At least twice a day. Once when you get out of bed.
Once right before you go to bed.

Lust Game #5: Lean to the floor and notice how this is different.

You didn’t try.
You woke up to now.
You “learned” in a real way.
You have new circuits in your brain.

Summary of Week One, Day Two:
Concept #3: The pelvis is the seat of good breath, learning, anti-aging and great sex
Concept #4: Learning is noticing a difference that makes a difference
Lust Game #1: Reach for the floor
Lust Game #2: Round your spine
Lust Game #3: Arch your spine
Lust Game #4: Arch and Round your spine, noticing your pelvis

Lust Game #5: Notice the now…. Reach for the floor, again