Fabulous sex "comes" in month three of our couples transformational work

Fabulous sex is necessary but not sufficient for fabulous love.

The first three months of our transformative couples work. Sex is coming, sex is coming, and the groundwork needs to be laid. (Possible pun here)

Fabulous sex is necessary to fabulous love.

Fabulous sex is not sufficient for fabulous love.

In our couple’s transformational process, which lasts 7 months, we introduce fabulous sex in the third month. This is because although fabulous sex gets everybody perked up and happy in intense doses, it does not create the groundwork for fabulous love.

What does fabulous love need:

The ability to be present and loving all the time. Especially when the other person is “pushing our buttons.”

The ability to be happy all the time. Especially when we are not “getting our way.”

So. In month one couples learn to talk in a way that is the best foreplay. Talking truth. Truth is not opinion. Truth is not complaining. Truth is small and very very very powerful.

It’s as simple as “I feel my fingers on the keys as I type these words in.” And notice how little argument could come from that statement.

There is more to simple and elegant truth.

In the first month we learn, speaking only truth. Listening in the present (vs the usual listening to have a response). And listening without interruption.

There is more.

Also in the first month we dive into real presence, really being “here now,” which always includes that vast amount of us usually OUT of awareness. The breathing into the mid section. The pelvis and the legs below the navel. Movement (walking even, how many are aware of the shift of which foot is moving and which foot is pressing). 

Movement as awareness plus pleasure plus learning.

These are all warm ups to fabulous sex.

Month Two:

How to forgive everything and anything.

How to dissolve all resentments.

This does the work of years of therapy.

Our work is not therapy.

Our dream is at least a thousand “AWAKENED COUPLES”. 

AWAKENED means

PRESENT full time

HAPPY  full time

LOVING full time

And that all of these thousand or more couples have a deep commitment to  “saving the Earth” (which can be saving humanity, whose wars and waste and greed and failure to cure sickness are ravaging the Earth)

love is important, yes, yes

How many times can you say

that
love is
important?

As many as you want to.

And that seems a little silly.
And silly is one of the best wrods
in the English language.

Along with land and love and work
and joy and ease and laughter.

It's okay to be silly every once in
a while
and it's good to fall in love
often

preferably with the same person
but if that person dies
or leaves you
or you leave
them,
fall in love with someone else

And can you love someone who leaves
you?
Yes.
And can you love someone you leave?
Very important: yes.
Love them while you are with them
and then love them when any
parting comes.

For half a day.
For a week.
For the rest of your lives.

Why stop loving just
because the roof isn't shared
any more?

And what about marriage?

Marriage is good.
An agreement to share the roof,
come hard times or good, come this or that.

Basically: an agreement to work it
out
if things need to be worked out.

I'm a big fan of working things out
as
foreplay.

Let me repeat that:
I'm a big fan of working things out
as
foreplay.

Not this old theatrical way:
of screaming and arguing and then someone
or both bursting into tears
and then the hugs
and then the sex.

Yikes. That's just a recipe for rewarding
screaming cat fights.

No, the working out of listening:
Oh, that's what you think.
Oh, that's what you feel.
Oh, that's how you see it.
Oh, of course you are right from your point of view
and of course I'm right from my point of view
and we don't have to be so coarse as
to demand that only one of us be right.

Let's both be right.
Let's both be wrong.
Let's both be smart.
Let's both be fools.

Ah, their is so much the same
about us.

We are one,
the human family,
the you and me and our love
family,
the awakening to reality family,

and that's the foreplay.

Waking up to the love
that is there

always
for everyone
when we are awake

and certainly for our mate
if we have one

and for ourselves and the trees
and our dogs and cats
and friends
if we don't

love is important
like breathing

it's always there
and when we remember
and experience it:
it feels like our life
is being lived
as we were meant
to
live

ah
yes

good