Time is for beginners, breath is for finishers

In addition to writing mystical mumbo jumbo, and working with couples and teenage/parent pairs who want to double their communication and love happiness,
I work with special needs children,
using the miraculous Anat Baniel Method.
Anat's new book is out and can be read about at
Kids Beyond Limits.

You can hurry through reading this post,
because what's for real is imagined to be a little later,
after this now,
just a bit down the road
and if we clear away all the hurried items
we can chill

maybe even turn off the computer and
chill

or at the very least look up and away
and see some sky or trees,

and if it's night,
where is the nature we could be using to nourish us
to slow
down
and remember the big news

the main thing:
we are alive now,
(we are alive now,
repeat, without words:
alive
now)

this is the miracle

we move our eyes over the words and our spine holds
up our head and the ribs are attached to the spine and they
rise and fall according to our breathing

and we could notice our breathing

right now

as a doorway to returning to the now,
following and noticing our breathing is
a recommended route for many years, millenia
as it where

Buddha said to back away from all the dreams
of the mind
and come back to reality

Jesus said to hitch your star to the giving away
of all the possessions,
as in "My idea...," "My country....,"My political important opinions..."

Give them up, and what is left?

The breath is left if we are still alive.
And some part of us can watch the breath if we are aware.

And some part of us can giggle at the enormity of it:
us, the living thing, being, spirit, whatever we are,
(that we don't have to verbalize if we take Buddha's vacation
from concepts),
we are alive and have awareness of being alive.

And does that take much time to do?

Nah,
more like taking a little time away from time,
consulting our inner happiness and asking it:
hey, what's up with this happiness and being alive
thing?

And it will answer:
Yes.


Therefore: stopwatch, watch the time, watch the phone's which are the new watches:
be on time, time yourself, hurry up, get too much done, all
that is for beginners.

And a nice game to be able to play
when YOU choose to play it.

And then there is the real game:
the I am alive,
Right Now,
game.

That's a pretty good one, too,
not to be talked about,
and even written about too much,

just to be lived,
experienced,
en joyed
and the gratitude,

sure,
how can that not be the flooding
out feeling underneath it all

the gift we have been given:
I am alive,
you, too

good

Day One: Relationship Enlightenment 108

This is day one of a twenty one day book:
Twenty One Days to Relationship Heaven.

It will be, as much as anything else, a manual of how to use
relationship "issues"
as a springboard for Enlightenment.

Sometimes it will be written in straight go-ahead sentences.

And sometimes,
not.

Here's the exercise/ game/ action/ meditation/ contemplation for the first day.

Sit down with a person with whom you wish to create greater love.

If you are divorced or have had a rocky separation, or even an "easy" separation, do this an imaginary other person, unless they will come join you on one or all of the twenty one days.

But do each day's game.

Here's today's:

Either sit across from each other, or sit across from an imaginary X.

Take turns saying this while looking into each others' eyes, or imagining looking into the eyes of the X.

"I am alive.

You are alive.

I am going to die someday.

You are going to die someday.

I love, honor and cherish you."

Pause between each phrase.

And if you have a complaint, or are angry at the one you are doing this with, so be it: say the words, "I love, honor and cherish you."

Even if you are going to get a divorce tomorrow, say the words.

Even if you got a divorce and they treated you horribly and you are bitter and wounded (which you won't be at the end of the 21 days), say the words. Whisper the words, but say them out loud, while looking into the other person's eyes, whether real eyes, or imaginary ones.

And, if you want to have a good relationship, and you are in a new one, after doing this "in the real world" with your present partner, do this in imaginary back and forth with your X. Even if the X was years ago.

And, if you are doing with with an imaginary X, have them say the words to you too:

"I am alive.

You are alive.

I am going to die someday.

You are going to die someday.

I love, honor and cherish you."

Imagine them looking into your eyes and saying this.

And for everyone, real person or imaginary:
go back and forth with this at least three times.

And it's fair, fine and maybe even recommended to do it one more time today,
just before you go to bed, or while in bed, before you go to sleep.

Or something else.

Good.

Movement and Love, Feldenkrais and Love, the whole shebang

I used to post on Wednesdays some thoughts
of a Feldenkrais nature.

I have strayed, it appears in these various Poems from Now,
and love thoughts,
and relationship enlightenment rambles,
and perhaps the straying has not been so far.

AND
I want to stray back to a once a week essay,
in this weird poems style, which I like as more readable,
and more easy to let the thoughts,
creep out
one
at
a time.

To say nothing of our great Feldie friend:
variation.

One word lines
like
yes
and then letting the words jumble rumble along and go all the way to the end of the page and then wrap around and keep going in word processor style

And
today's topic:
Feldenkrais and love, which I've explored several times before. (next week I'll write about "anti-aging" as the "main topic," but watch and see:
Feldy
and love
and anti-aging all meet at a sweet point.)

And what is the sweet point:
The Kingdom of Heaven is within.
And the Kingdom of Heaven is now.

Life without love is, in a certain way, not really worth living,
and it's about knowing the kingdom of heaven
within oneself
and seeing feeling and encouraging that in your partner,
and in everyone you love.

And in Feldenkrais, we
appear to be moving bodies
in space
on tables
or chairs or the floor,
with an occasional brave "standing lesson."

Are we looking for the "Kingdom of Heaven,"
(which I'm conveniently, and on purpose leaving
vague and open ended)
in these bodies?

Yes.

We are loving these bodies in the usual way
of real lovers who:
1. listen
2. like what they hear
3. are willing to go very slowly with any shifting
4. aren't afraid to suggest alternatives
5. listen to the results of those alternatives
6, are deeply concentrated on things being perfect and getting even
better for the other

All this could be elaborated,
and won't be.

You fill in the extras, if you are a Feldie.

You fill in the examples if you are in love.

You look for where you are missing the mark if you are not in
love right now.

.........
Tidbit:
I've taken this website name:
Mindful-Dating.com
to help and encourage those who might wish for
relationship based on awakened and present existence.

And have an ongoing blog:
RelationshipEnlightenment.blogspot.com/
for those in our out of relationship,
again, wanting, wishing, even demanding
awareness as core
to their love

....


And here we are back to the theme of the day:

Feldenkrais: where Awareness is crowned as life's chance for freedom
(See Moshe's Awareness Through Movement, the first section)
and Movement is the way to most easily get there

Love; where awareness of ourselves in the present,
and in our bodies
allows our minds and our inner chatter to
shut up enough
so we can actually indulge in the great gift
and glory of another person
in all their rags and riches, beauty and warts,
in our presence
and beyond this indulgence and our own joy,
shower them with this greatest of all gifts:

our awareness of them,
in the present.

Okay, that's enough.

Plenty of blanks to fill in, meadows to plant with wild flowers,
poems to write for yourself.

Go out.
Love the world.
Give great lessons.

Feed awareness with awareness.

Core to the Koran,
the light Verse,

core to that Verse:

Light upon Light

Good.

Vows for Relationship Enlightenment

1. I vow to be present and authentic in and apart from our relationship.

Authentic means true to my feelings, wishes, goals and moment by moment inclinations.
It does not demand of you to match, join, or even approve of my authentic self.

And most especially, authentic does not include the cowardly "honesty" of complaining about what's going on in me and blaming that on you.

2. I vow to have zero tolerance for any complaining about you from me. I.e. not to do it.
Ever.

3. I do vow to be honest in my feelings, rather than repressed. To combine this with #2, I vow to state my feelings only in this shortened form:
"I feel angry."  Period. No "because you..."
"I feel sad." Period. No "because you..."

4. I vow to take total responsibility for all the "because-s" after any feelings I have.
These usually include some or all of these:
a. lack of being present
b. a story about how the other is not (and should) match some picture in my mind
c. a trigger from some past "wound," which means an area I haven't "done" the Work on yet.
d. a cowardly attempt/ habit  to blame others outside for what I feel inside.

5. I vow to do the Work ( the Work of Byron Katie, TheWork.com) on any and all of my stories.

6. I vow to commit myself to your happiness, to your achieving your life goals and wishes, to your need for space, time and respect.

7. I vow to listen when you wish to communicate. Fully. In the present. No interrupting. No interpreting.

8. I vow not to interpret any of your behavior, thinking or feeling, unless you are doing some inner work and ASK for this.

9. These are my vows.
You can join them or not. I invite you to, and that's your business.
I you join them, I vow not to nag, scold, or even point out when you "fail" to meet them.

10. On the other hand, I vow to listen to your observations about when and how I have missed the mark on keeping them.

11. I vow to make requests, not demands. Which means I vow to honor and even enjoy any and all "no's" to my requests, as what they are: you exercising your right and joy to be precisely the one whom I love: you being exactly yourself, moment by moment.

Good

Geothe on decision, a quote

"Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy,
the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative,
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then providence moves too…
Whatever you can do,
or dream you can,
begin it.

Boldness has genius,
power, and magic in it"


Geothe

tuesday today, next tuesday VAlentine's

roses are red
violets are blue
tell me a secret
I love you

this poem could
be read
by all of our real selves

to everyone else's

and they wouldn't even have
to tell a secret

and I don't think that's the real verse

tell me a secret:
i love you

is the secret we
all have

and are all holding our breath
to hear

and what would it be like
today
tomorrow
for a few days
to think feel remember that

for everyone we see:
I love you

everyone we talk to:
I love you

everyone who sees or talks to us:
they love us

interesting results
perhaps

let's find out

Valentine's Treat

Valentine's Day is

like this:
I love you
and
I hope you love me
and let's show off that we have something pretty nice

And everyone doesn't have something pretty nice
and
some of those showing off
are,
as they say,
"blowing smoke out their asses"
and putting on a public show
while there is plenty of suffering back home

So what to do about
making it better
making love
happen
as a more consistent and ongoing thing?

Ah, me, ah my
it's always the same answer:

be present.

Got a grudge:
come into the present and actually
look at your partner

Your partner is gone
and you have a grudge
:
Look out the window
enjoy the birds
the bees
the sky
the trees
and be glad to be alive

Wish they were kinder:
be kinder to them
and to yourself

Wish they would listen more:
listen to them and
listen to yourself

If they bore you,
be present
be honest
ask for what would make it
work

Don't demand
Be happy

See what happens

there's more,
always more,
its one of life's great
ships
the relationship

and if you are "single"
single out plenty
of time
to really
really
really

love yourself
and your
life
exactly as it is

Good.

And now for an announcement:
I have a class at the UT informal classes
that I "accidentally" scheduled for February
7 and 14.

So instead of going to a movie, or out to dinner,
or,
in addition,
you could come upgrade your relationship
by:
communicating in the present
releasing resentments
creating harmony
moving into the moment

this can be with a mate
or without

couple
or
single

sign up
here:

UT informal class:
The Joy of Divorcing Your Pain/ Suffering/ Old Stuff/ Whatnot

christmas in an airport

leaving Southern California

for love, learning, laughter

and 

waking up,

happiness

and usefulness in

Austin

you know
it sounds bad
like it's all hurried and hassled
and that's a bunk way
to do
Christmas

and it's calm
the line for Southwest was zero
you walk right to the counter

and the homeland security
again,
no line

people are waiting for a plane
but calm
i think they all "did"
Christmas yesterday

and what does this have to
do
with a blog called
Poems from Now

well:
life is always now
and airports
and "not being there yet"
are parts of life

and "not being there yet"
is silly
isn't it
because
be
cause we are always
here
now

and when the next place
arrives
it will delightfully
arrive

and then next place

and now
apparently you
and i
are "at" a computer

and your now
doesn't synchronize on
a watch/ clock with
my now

but for you
your experience of
this now
can always be counted
on to bring you
to the best of what life
is
for you

and guess what?
many cell calls being made
and what are they saying?

same as what I'll say:
MErry Christmas.

Chris

Christmas cometh

a light shines in the sky

a light shines in you

it signals something amazing

it moves

the wise folks in you follow the light

it ends up in a smelly place
a humble place

new birth
helpless baby

and the light of the world
in you
is born
and begins its journey
to the center of the
Universe

happy
birth
to the Son of God
a star
the Sun of God

in you

yes

yes

yes

What does love have to do with it?

SEX AND LOVE
What does love have to do with it?

So sings Tina Turner, and what is she wailing about to such charged and thrilling effect? She is saying, perhaps, that one of life’s possibilities is to just get down, and naked and happy, and “ball” away, and let the animal in your be deeply satisfied.

Not just the warmth of flesh to flesh and the brain and body delight of tongue to tongue and the relief of simple minded, or almost no minded, pleasure in the moment, but the discharge of overloaded and worried and hurried and unfocused nervous systems, coming together to focus on the pleasure of being alive.
Zippie, zowie, eh?


This hints toward that, me thinks, this many people’s favorite poem by Mary Oliver:

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

This poem is, to my ears and heart, a love song to reality. All she needs is some river otters, and tiger cubs and dolphins and children rolling in the mud. And lovers.
 
This wild warm flesh in us knows how to love

And wants to be and know and live what it knows.

And it is not a thing to rush, and not a thing to force into action with the tom toms of loud music, or the crashing of ecstatic drugs, or the thrill of hidden secretive adulterous “affairs.”

Love, sex, the warm flesh, they know how to met under the sheets and on the meadow, and even, hints of future pleasures, in a slow sweet dance either indoors or out, but it is the natural that leads to the super natural. Supernatural is the norm when we slow into the reality of how amazing life has made the possibilities of joining in the magic and only real NOW.

So, what the heck am I saying?

Read those sentences again. They aren’t meant to be textbook linear. This is not a book for the left brain, nor for the right, nor for the wrong, nor for the correct.

This is a working manual of liberation, and at any moment, even this darn sweet one, Right Now, we can waken to the bliss and sweetness of human/ beyond human existence on this planet, this blue water green plant brown mud, grey cloud, gold leaf, red blood, purple mountain majesty Earth.

And what is our, my, your answer so far to the Tina Turner taunt: What does love have to do with it?

Perhaps, letting the mind slip into old categories, the above ramble seems to imply: love isn’t part of the deal. It’s the geese and the soft warm flesh and the mud river otter and the happy frolicking puppy inside us that sex is satisfying, and what does love have to do with that?

And good old left brain, either/ or land says, nothing. Woopie, just “go for it,” and no brainer is happiness.

And I say: no brainer is non life because you and I can’t stand talk walk crawl live a second without our brain, so in a way (and this will be a whole other chapter), the common and to my mind (and perhaps mine alone) depraved use of the slogan “no brainer,” shows A., the diminished brain of the speaker of this cliché ( add 24/7, and my plate is full, and you’ve got a “full plate” of nonsense behind which to hide from reality), B, how out of touch our present society is with the fundamental characteristic of humanity: our ability to use our brains to learn.

Unfortunately, we can also use our brains to wire ourselves deeper into our ruts, including our clichés, and what does love have to do with THAT?

Everything.

Because love can only be fresh.

To make love to another is to make something out of the given materials, but to lift up to another level, to make as if the make a house or a pair of pants or a shirt or a deck or a garden.

To make love is to construct something beautiful between two people and then the very sweet questions comes round to where it should be: what does sex have to do with it?

Because a mother can make love with her baby bringing it to her nipple, or helping her child up from a fall and smiling and touching the hurt knee and being in sympathy and delight with the child for moving forward enough in their adventure to have a “mistake.” (There are “throw away” phrases as we go along here, that could be an entire essay. Maybe they will be by the time the book/ manual is finished.)

And two people can make love by sitting down and speaking slowly and clearly, looking in each other’s eyes and hearing their own voice and enjoying their own and the other person’s breathing and feeling gratitude for the listening and gratitude for the discovery of what they are saying in this very moment.

And in this very moment, I can ask again, and you can read and hear and perhaps think about this: what does Sex have to do with making love?

Cover up the rest.

Rest the word reader in you.

Take a walk short enough so you don’t do chores and get distracted and long enough so the tall and foot worthy animal in you and the breather in the world of motion can come back to the center of your understanding of who you are. And while you walk in this way, feeling your feet, and feeling your breathing, and delighting in the sounds and sights of the swish of Now, have somewhere in their the wonderment: what does sex have to do with it?

Really: short walk. Plan and succeed to come back to this thought river ramble gift exploration.
Go.

Okay, I walked and my legs were alive.

Do you ever sense your entire leg, from toes, all five toes, up to your hip joint, and then add on the other leg, all five of its toes and all of the whole big amazingness of it up to that hip joint?

Legs are a big part of the real estate of the body. Humans got upright and ran down game, and made the game of life a grand adventure, and when sex gets involved we go below the navel and awaken to the big amazing motion of life.

And that, of course is only part of the answer, if there is any answer.

Sex is motion.

Sex is interaction.

Sex is the lure into the present.

All that helps love: there is another person.

That person is fine wonderful amazing, yes, thank you, thank you.

That person is “in it” with us, back and forth, we have something to say, they have something to say.

Life is good.

In the present, they are what they are. They don’t have to be something tomorrow. They don’t have to have been better yesterday. They are filling up our now with the delight of their now and our now wowing along together.

If we are lucky, we don’t quite know what we are doing, or how it’s going to shift and play and change.

And love is play. Discovery: who are you.

And sex is play. Discovery: who are you. Who am I?


And love and sex are discovery: who are we? What can this we make together?

Sometimes it can make a baby.

Sometimes it can make love, or make a bigger brighter fresher more amazing love.

And isn’t that fine?


The above is the third chapter in a book, Backs, Necks, Sex and Brains, that should be done by March of next year. If you perhaps want each chapter as it rolls out, let me know, and perhaps we can make an arrangement to "buy forward" the book in it's unfolding.

Thanks

 

wild Orcas turk ey

thanks to this now
and this next one too

the now
so like the best parent
could ever be

always there for you

you don't need to do anything to deserve it

it's always yours

no one can take it away

no waiting

no stress

the now, like awareness
is always available

in every moment

and is now
awareness

or does awareness light
up the now

and without words
and a need for a mental scheme

does it mattter

thanks
this present moment

and thanks
for all the moments
this last year
to which we were present

and all the trees birds leaves snails animals
people sunsets music movies books laughter
good food
blah blah

life is good
as good as we let it be
when we stop trying to bully
it into shape

and bully for us
when we try and fail

and then
sometimes
we put the seed in the ground,
mindfully perhaps,
and water the seed,
mindfully perhaps,
and watch the seed grow to fullness,
over many days,
each day
like each now,
different

and then
each day being exactly itself
it is finally the big plant with the beautiful
flower
or the yummy food
and we can pick and eat and savor
that food,
just as today we might savor
some food,

mindfully perhaps

This life

A train in the distance
pelvis on the chiar
eyes watching the letters appear on the screen

fresh fall air
the roll of wheels on the roadway
a dog barking
my pants on my legs
noticing how my wrists rest
on the table as I type

feet on floor

how could it get any better?

a friend to smile at across the table,
maybe
who knows

speculation isn't present

and can be fun

and
how can I smile across the table at
myself

hey, that's what this poem is:
loving life
in the moment
is loving myself

it's all me
all you
we are one
and as you read this
your life
fills up the exact full wonderful niche
that you have
at this moment
looking at this computer screen

and what else
is filling your awareness
with that sweetest
awareness:

this is me
alive
now?



Good


Chris on Monday morning
in Austin Texas, weather finally divine,
low seventies in November

ciao
for
NOW