Fabulous sex "comes" in month three of our couples transformational work

Fabulous sex is necessary but not sufficient for fabulous love.

The first three months of our transformative couples work. Sex is coming, sex is coming, and the groundwork needs to be laid. (Possible pun here)

Fabulous sex is necessary to fabulous love.

Fabulous sex is not sufficient for fabulous love.

In our couple’s transformational process, which lasts 7 months, we introduce fabulous sex in the third month. This is because although fabulous sex gets everybody perked up and happy in intense doses, it does not create the groundwork for fabulous love.

What does fabulous love need:

The ability to be present and loving all the time. Especially when the other person is “pushing our buttons.”

The ability to be happy all the time. Especially when we are not “getting our way.”

So. In month one couples learn to talk in a way that is the best foreplay. Talking truth. Truth is not opinion. Truth is not complaining. Truth is small and very very very powerful.

It’s as simple as “I feel my fingers on the keys as I type these words in.” And notice how little argument could come from that statement.

There is more to simple and elegant truth.

In the first month we learn, speaking only truth. Listening in the present (vs the usual listening to have a response). And listening without interruption.

There is more.

Also in the first month we dive into real presence, really being “here now,” which always includes that vast amount of us usually OUT of awareness. The breathing into the mid section. The pelvis and the legs below the navel. Movement (walking even, how many are aware of the shift of which foot is moving and which foot is pressing). 

Movement as awareness plus pleasure plus learning.

These are all warm ups to fabulous sex.

Month Two:

How to forgive everything and anything.

How to dissolve all resentments.

This does the work of years of therapy.

Our work is not therapy.

Our dream is at least a thousand “AWAKENED COUPLES”. 

AWAKENED means

PRESENT full time

HAPPY  full time

LOVING full time

And that all of these thousand or more couples have a deep commitment to  “saving the Earth” (which can be saving humanity, whose wars and waste and greed and failure to cure sickness are ravaging the Earth)

Talking about Sex

okay
admit it

you don't talk about sex

you wish about it
you might complaint about it
or whine about it

and so
what?

no one's perfect
( remember the end of Some Like it Hot)


and
let's have this be one of the talk games:

as you remember
perhaps,

as part of love and sex before dinner
you are spending a grueling 18 minutes a day
ACTUALLY TALKING TO &
LISTENING TO
YOUR PARTNER

you talk 3 minutes, they listen,
in the present,
no interrupting

they talk for 3 minutes,
you listen
in the present,
no interrupting,
and as
much as possible, no words in your head (aka "thinking") about
how you are going to respond

back and forth,
3 whole turns each
18 minutes

it seems so piddling

and most partners talk less than this
in a week
except plans,
day recitals,
grumbles about work,
blah blah

so
here's today:

in your talk:

tell what you like about your sex
with your partner

and
talk about what more, or different
that you'd like

and respond
(without thinking about it while
they are talking)
to whatever they say to you

and even,
curiosity being a component of love
and the now,
ask some questions in
your turn

enjoy

chris