asking every day, a little beyond our comfort zone, or a lot

if we are living right, we should be getting
at least one "No" a day
to some request we are making for something that
pushes some edge

"Would you like to OM?"
"Would you like to make out?"
"Would you like to make out for X minutes?"
"Would you like to have sex?"
"Would you like to spend the night together?"
"Would you give me your phone number?"
"Would you go to ..... with me?"

This kind of thing in the relationship world, and this:

"I offer ..... for $.......Would you like to buy?"

That's a good one, too.

That keeps things high sensation. And if we don't know yet how to ask and get turned on by our asking and let the yes / no chips fall where they may, we con't quite know how to live yet, don't you think?

Don;t you feel that that's true?
For you?

Best first line of poem, thank z be to Mary Oliver: You do not have to be good

You do not have to be good

You don't have to finish your breakfast and wash the dishes
before you go to write a poem
or take a walk
or go back to bed and make love to everyone you love

You do not have to say your prayers
Nor do you have to scorn those who pray continuously

You do not have to turn out the lights
and go to sleep at
ten
eleven
twelve
one

You do not have to be fresh and perky the next
day

Nor need you repent of the late night reading
walking under the stars
making love to everyone you love
lying awake in blessed non sleep not dreaming
not thinking
not even meditating

just warm
lying there
wasting time

You do not have to not waste time

You can linger
over
almost anything to good effect
whatever good effect means,
let's say it means: joyful sustanence

and linger away
at the book, the lover, the bed, the walk,
the poem,

even your work

You do not have to begrudge your
work
Nor listen to anyone who is boring you

You do not have to wait until tomorrow
to be
happy
nor even
until this poem is over

Meanwhile
wild geese fly over Mary Oliver's poem
and the heater hums in mine
a rare cold day in Austin
in Texas
where I never thought I'd be
and I'm in love
with so many things
and I could blame it on Austin
or God
or you

but why bother

you do not have to have an excuse
for
happiness
nor
for joy

Feeling bad is good for you, if there is another You to watch

whether we are going
through
a divorce

or a separation
of whether the
weather is not something
we'd like to weather

the real weather is always
inside

and guess what:
we are wired to worry
and concentrate on what could
go wrong

and we are also
"meant" to be happy

which means,
guess what guys?

our life's job is to rewire ourselves
to be happy
and to love

and guess what part two?
the only way to really do
that is to be
able to live in the present

darn,
and we'd so much like to just have
the right pill
or the right programming
or the right set of behaviors
or the right rules
or the right club
or right movies
or ....
but not really: you
can't automatically be awake

and awake is the way
into and out of unhappy
or unloving

and guess what part three?
unhappy and unloving
are really really close

because when you are busy
loving the rose and the sky
and your feet
and the faces of all the people
going by
you are happy

and when you are happy,
you just can't help love yourself
and those around you

so what about feeling bad
is good for you?

it's like pain in the shoulder:
which says:
hey, you are doing something wrong
(I know, I know must body work is
dumb and thinks the pain in the shoulder
means "something's wrong with you",
but ain't so)
find a more integrated and easy and aware way to be

same with the pain in the heart:

it's saying:
your old programming
is dumb
it's not working
and that's good news
because if the big You
that is really you
can watch how the little you
cause this pain
then, both the big and the little You and you
can
get
together and do think feel act sense
differently
and

then, you'll be better smarter more easy
and awake
about how to
be happy
and loving


all this is abstract
in a way
and then again:
it's the overview we need
when feeling bad

who's doing it?
us.

what do we need to change?
well, let's see what we are doing
and try something else out

what else?

ah, that's the game
and just like improving the shoulder:
the slower
and gentler
and more experimental
and sensing the results in the moment
and non judgmental/ curious
we are
the happier
(and more loving )
are the results

so,
there you go

read this again
and then once again tomorrow
and have a wonderful weekend

ciao,
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