life is beautiful and so what?

tis a crazy hot morning in Austin
I want the windows open and then
the steamy heat comes leaking in


so be it

life is beautiful and
so what?
means....

i don't know
that's the fun of writing what comes
up
and then seeing what comes up

and so what
so what?

can be angry
or
it can be amused

I'll pick amused
and I rememmber
times I've been all swamped
worried depressed by the story

and done the Famous
Work of Byron Katie
and what bothered me
before
went through several stages of liberation:

--so what?

--hmm, interesting


--charming

--I love it



this can be something simple:
a person doesn't return a phone
call
which is a pet peeve
(which means  conditioned route
to unhappiness )
or something so called tragic
a girlfriend "leaving"
or someone angry at me
or rejecting me
for some interesting/ wonderful
offer
i have made

( and aren't all my offers
wonderful?

well, yes to me
and luckily
for the world
and the Universe
I don't run the world
nor the Universe
so 
when people say "no"
they have their own reasons)

life is beautiful
and so what?

the goal
maybe
and i guess we get to pick
day by day
moment by moment

is to live

and what does that mean?

leave the computer behind and discover 
what 
is next?

and i might not do
"the right thing"

and,
so what?

if i'm conscious
i'm doing the life
thing
and that seems 
just hunky
dory
so what or so great
or
????????


GOOD good good

true story and what is true? talking while awake... not so easy

In my Sonoma days,

a nun came to town.

Not the Catholic kind, but Tibetan,
some fearless gal from Canada or Ohio
or something who
had
gone to
Nepal and sat in a cave for
????? a long time
under supervision of the Tibetan Buddhist
path

she'd gotten a lot of
strength wisdom freedom
from
this experience
and her talk was inspiring

after
wards
I joined the line of those
saying, Oh wow, thanks for your
talk, blah blah

And then,
going out to my bike
realized
that the blah balh
blah
had all been said in a state
of
sleep

eggads!
again!

oh, well.

sensing feet and arms and aware of light
and sound
i walked the now not asleep Chris
back into the building
and found the nun
and said,
you know last time I talked
to you about how great your
talk was
I wasn't conscious
now I am
and thanks

She woke up to match me
out of the shaking hands
daze
and we glowed
at each other for a brief
eternal now
moment
and
then I went back out
to my bike

it would be nice to say
i've been awake since
that moment,

but alas,
the learning
and slipping
and re re remembering
(which members?)
happens
over and over

luckily
it's a delight
to come home
each and
ever
y
time


ciao
for
NOW

Chris

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