Monday, November 28, 2011

What does love have to do with it?

What does love have to do with it?

So sings Tina Turner, and what is she wailing about to such charged and thrilling effect? She is saying, perhaps, that one of life’s possibilities is to just get down, and naked and happy, and “ball” away, and let the animal in your be deeply satisfied.

Not just the warmth of flesh to flesh and the brain and body delight of tongue to tongue and the relief of simple minded, or almost no minded, pleasure in the moment, but the discharge of overloaded and worried and hurried and unfocused nervous systems, coming together to focus on the pleasure of being alive.
Zippie, zowie, eh?

This hints toward that, me thinks, this many people’s favorite poem by Mary Oliver:

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

This poem is, to my ears and heart, a love song to reality. All she needs is some river otters, and tiger cubs and dolphins and children rolling in the mud. And lovers.
This wild warm flesh in us knows how to love

And wants to be and know and live what it knows.

And it is not a thing to rush, and not a thing to force into action with the tom toms of loud music, or the crashing of ecstatic drugs, or the thrill of hidden secretive adulterous “affairs.”

Love, sex, the warm flesh, they know how to met under the sheets and on the meadow, and even, hints of future pleasures, in a slow sweet dance either indoors or out, but it is the natural that leads to the super natural. Supernatural is the norm when we slow into the reality of how amazing life has made the possibilities of joining in the magic and only real NOW.

So, what the heck am I saying?

Read those sentences again. They aren’t meant to be textbook linear. This is not a book for the left brain, nor for the right, nor for the wrong, nor for the correct.

This is a working manual of liberation, and at any moment, even this darn sweet one, Right Now, we can waken to the bliss and sweetness of human/ beyond human existence on this planet, this blue water green plant brown mud, grey cloud, gold leaf, red blood, purple mountain majesty Earth.

And what is our, my, your answer so far to the Tina Turner taunt: What does love have to do with it?

Perhaps, letting the mind slip into old categories, the above ramble seems to imply: love isn’t part of the deal. It’s the geese and the soft warm flesh and the mud river otter and the happy frolicking puppy inside us that sex is satisfying, and what does love have to do with that?

And good old left brain, either/ or land says, nothing. Woopie, just “go for it,” and no brainer is happiness.

And I say: no brainer is non life because you and I can’t stand talk walk crawl live a second without our brain, so in a way (and this will be a whole other chapter), the common and to my mind (and perhaps mine alone) depraved use of the slogan “no brainer,” shows A., the diminished brain of the speaker of this cliché ( add 24/7, and my plate is full, and you’ve got a “full plate” of nonsense behind which to hide from reality), B, how out of touch our present society is with the fundamental characteristic of humanity: our ability to use our brains to learn.

Unfortunately, we can also use our brains to wire ourselves deeper into our ruts, including our clichés, and what does love have to do with THAT?


Because love can only be fresh.

To make love to another is to make something out of the given materials, but to lift up to another level, to make as if the make a house or a pair of pants or a shirt or a deck or a garden.

To make love is to construct something beautiful between two people and then the very sweet questions comes round to where it should be: what does sex have to do with it?

Because a mother can make love with her baby bringing it to her nipple, or helping her child up from a fall and smiling and touching the hurt knee and being in sympathy and delight with the child for moving forward enough in their adventure to have a “mistake.” (There are “throw away” phrases as we go along here, that could be an entire essay. Maybe they will be by the time the book/ manual is finished.)

And two people can make love by sitting down and speaking slowly and clearly, looking in each other’s eyes and hearing their own voice and enjoying their own and the other person’s breathing and feeling gratitude for the listening and gratitude for the discovery of what they are saying in this very moment.

And in this very moment, I can ask again, and you can read and hear and perhaps think about this: what does Sex have to do with making love?

Cover up the rest.

Rest the word reader in you.

Take a walk short enough so you don’t do chores and get distracted and long enough so the tall and foot worthy animal in you and the breather in the world of motion can come back to the center of your understanding of who you are. And while you walk in this way, feeling your feet, and feeling your breathing, and delighting in the sounds and sights of the swish of Now, have somewhere in their the wonderment: what does sex have to do with it?

Really: short walk. Plan and succeed to come back to this thought river ramble gift exploration.

Okay, I walked and my legs were alive.

Do you ever sense your entire leg, from toes, all five toes, up to your hip joint, and then add on the other leg, all five of its toes and all of the whole big amazingness of it up to that hip joint?

Legs are a big part of the real estate of the body. Humans got upright and ran down game, and made the game of life a grand adventure, and when sex gets involved we go below the navel and awaken to the big amazing motion of life.

And that, of course is only part of the answer, if there is any answer.

Sex is motion.

Sex is interaction.

Sex is the lure into the present.

All that helps love: there is another person.

That person is fine wonderful amazing, yes, thank you, thank you.

That person is “in it” with us, back and forth, we have something to say, they have something to say.

Life is good.

In the present, they are what they are. They don’t have to be something tomorrow. They don’t have to have been better yesterday. They are filling up our now with the delight of their now and our now wowing along together.

If we are lucky, we don’t quite know what we are doing, or how it’s going to shift and play and change.

And love is play. Discovery: who are you.

And sex is play. Discovery: who are you. Who am I?

And love and sex are discovery: who are we? What can this we make together?

Sometimes it can make a baby.

Sometimes it can make love, or make a bigger brighter fresher more amazing love.

And isn’t that fine?

The above is the third chapter in a book, Backs, Necks, Sex and Brains, that should be done by March of next year. If you perhaps want each chapter as it rolls out, let me know, and perhaps we can make an arrangement to "buy forward" the book in it's unfolding.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

if your posture is slumpy, can your mood be far behind

when we are present
it's a two edge thing
sort of

cause we notice when we
are slagging out on ourselves

like slumping in

and those darn moments
wonderful moments
"count" too

it's all life
God's blessing
Life's blessing
in the slump mode

we can notice the shape
of our spines
and the way that effects breathing

is this how we want to live
our lives
right now

and then, maybe,
get up,
take a walk

touch the ground and the sky
do a few push ups
skip a bit, lie down, roll on the bed,

you know
what would you
do right now
if you listen
to this body
you are hanging out in
in the moment

I'm going to leave the fingers
off the keyboard
and go do some things



Friday, November 25, 2011

Loving What Is

here's a short cut
for thanks

love what's in front of you

love what's behind you

look forward to loving what
may bring

and then
what's wrong with loving
this computer screen
telling you this suave advise

and if it annoys
love and be thanks ful
for that

almost cheating this
weird wonderful aspect of God

all is good
you are good
loving everything is God's game

yours too
when you
we all
do it

for NOW

Thursday, November 24, 2011


wild Orcas turk ey

thanks to this now
and this next one too

the now
so like the best parent
could ever be

always there for you

you don't need to do anything to deserve it

it's always yours

no one can take it away

no waiting

no stress

the now, like awareness
is always available

in every moment

and is now

or does awareness light
up the now

and without words
and a need for a mental scheme

does it mattter

this present moment

and thanks
for all the moments
this last year
to which we were present

and all the trees birds leaves snails animals
people sunsets music movies books laughter
good food
blah blah

life is good
as good as we let it be
when we stop trying to bully
it into shape

and bully for us
when we try and fail

and then
we put the seed in the ground,
mindfully perhaps,
and water the seed,
mindfully perhaps,
and watch the seed grow to fullness,
over many days,
each day
like each now,

and then
each day being exactly itself
it is finally the big plant with the beautiful
or the yummy food
and we can pick and eat and savor
that food,
just as today we might savor
some food,

mindfully perhaps

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

on the machine in the mornng

Thich Nhat Hahn
confessed to writing
being one of the hardest
times to be present

i'll confess the
especially at the computer

in hand
my handwriting is so bad
that luckily
I have to slow down
if I want to read it later

a grand incentive to be
while the pen
moves along

maybe I can try typing
on computer land
with attention on one
finger and
its companion toe
(right ring finger, left ring toe, say)
while I write

that "makes" me
slow down

not the worst
tragedy in the world

i breathe
when i sense a finger
and a toe

what was i doing before?

the old silliness:
holding my breath
"it's over"

for NOW

Monday, November 21, 2011

Beyond the arguing, hey, let's try something else

Most so called conversation
is two people, semi-listening
and mainly
"thinking" what they are going
to say
and waiting for an opening
to sneak, shove, slide or otherwise
to insert
very very important words

BAD conversation
aka arguing
aka "fighting" has two generic
one worse than the other
and both  a sad waste of
human life love
and liberty

the normal awful arguing mode
generic style is:
person A, telling person B
I'm right, and you are wrong

person B, sees it just the opposite
and is defending, attacking, interrupting,
whatever it takes for this important message:
I'm right and you are wrong

notice the similarity in their messages

the AWFUL style
is both have this message:
I'm good, you are bad


what's some alternatives,
non habitual communication
as it were

one is Non Violent Communication
which isn't my training
and it's roughly:
let the other guy talk
+ really listen
and then say:
okay, what it seems to me
is that your feel ......
because you need/ want/ feel you aren't getting.....

It takes the amazing assumption
the other person has real issues, feelings, and order in their
own world


A tried and true other way:

person A listens
person B talks, rants, accuses
whatever for awhile
(way way best to set a timer here,
a little ranting goes a long way if
person B has to really listen, can't interrupt,
and had to repeat it back)

and that's the next step
person B says to A,
here's what I heard you say,
and gives it back
without any interpretation
or defending

( tough stuff,
but good,
"You said I was a creep
and never pay enough attention to you,
and I really let you down when...")

And then, B asks: did I miss anything
(another reason for a 2 minute to 3 minute turn each,
it's hard to remember too much stuff,
especially when it's emotional "stuff')

if A says you missed....
then B says, okay, I missed ....

If A says, no you got it,
then B takes a short turn
A listens without interruptin
and repeats it back

Called reflective listening

this practice,
the non habitual listening
and honoring the other person,
can really help
that wounded feeling of
"You don't care about me,
won't listen to me feeling"

which is often true in arguing
when the yelling is about OUR important
and precludes listening

there are two more cool non habitual
communication games
I like

and let's make it short

each requires you to
take turns with a timer
it can be a little,
or a lot longer,
since there is no feedback

in the first type:
when it's your turn
you talk about anything
except any feedback, suggestion, etc
about what the other said

so each of you agrees to only talk
about issues that don't involve the other

in the more complicated type,
you can address whatever came
but you have to listen when it's your turn
to listen
and the more you can keep it
in the famous "I" statement
the better

this is tricky
and can work in a mature
especially one committed
to full time being present

this wasn't really a poem
was it?

who knows

could we both,
you gentle reader
and me sincere writer,
go back to the beginning
and read the whole darn thing
with an attempt to follow our breathing
and sense two arms
and two legs
and one
at the same

I'll give it a go

you'll do what you do

i had to read it several times,
discovering typos along the way

and rereading
and going slowly
is nice

very nice

at a point
the words
didn't matter,
just being present
plenty good

hope your
is presenting you
with ease and joy

and if nothing else
that thrill of being
in your life
at the moment you are living
your life

Friday, November 18, 2011

what would Awakened Frienship Look Like

have you ever tried
to "remember yourself"
all day

attention in
one breathing
or arms and legs
and attention out
on the world of air and light and sound
and actions
we are moving through?

tis hard
even in simple circumstances

and noted when we
"lose it" most can
be delightful realization
of the immensity
of the "sleep" of most of our life

(even as i type this....)

and one of for
"wake up times"

is talking to another

and I'm in the mood to
have Awakened

with as many people as can stand

the waking up tribe

it's a kind of love
that leaves the clothes on
and take off the cage
around the heart

want to join me?

for NOW

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Embodied Relationship, Awakened Movement, "Enlightenment in Action" is Business and Visionaries

Once again
I have revamped my website
and clarified the vision
of how I want to contribute
my gifts and learnings to
the world

this isn't a poem

you are a poem

and when I say that
it occurs to me
that I have to be a poem
to see
you as a poem

and i come back to breathing
and gravity

the wonder of a spine
holding up the eyes
in the head
and the air
coming in from up top
and filling the all of me
the now of me

how's all the going
for you

this breathing
is a way of re
membering we are alive
this connection
to gravity
the groundedness that isn't wu wu
but part of sweet parcel
of the ongoing

Life on Earth

time to walk
even if it

which is the skin's story
about the air

and can't we love
all these stories
and then slip back
into the experience behind
the stories

well, sometimes I can
sometimes I yammer

me, i like life on its own terms.

how about you.

and the websire
you could look at it if
you wish:

Elms Emerald Alchemy
is says at the top


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Really simple movement lesson because I haven't had one for awhile and they are so GOOD for you. and FUN

sit in a chair

read each instruction a couple of times

then close your eyes and "do it"

if you flub, so f.... what
read again, try again
life is learning

1. sit in a chair and put both
hands in the belly region,
thumbs near the ribs,
finger down lower

in this position,
bend you head forward toward your
belly button
(sort of, i.e. not towards the knees,
but as curly up as you can)

go slowly

let your hands squeeze in as you do

then come back up to more or less upright


do it again

about ten times

read this two more times,
play with it
"do it"

2.  Do the same darn
except this time pay attention to

roll back a little on your pelvis
as you tuck your head down
and pinch in
with your hands to feel how your stomach is contracting

come back up

rest a breath

do this again, each time resting
each time "sensing" something more
about yourself

3. rest between each number
then put one hand on your lower back
and one on your belly

let your head hang forward,
as close to your chest as possible

there, all relaxed and such
do these three things
at the same time

belly forward and arch your back

sternum/ breast bone up and forward

rolling a bit forward on your pelvis

go slow
read it twice
or have it read to you
print in up
just do it

4. sit "normal"
and figure out how to do this:
turn your head to the left and your eyes to the right
and your head to the right and eyes to the left

go slow
don't move head or eyes
take it easy


5. Go back to number two,
the leaning forward and squeezing.
this time when you go down as far as possible,
let your head be even softer,
and add in number four, which means head right as eyes go left,
and the other way

and see how soft it can be

6. rest

go back to number three,
the belly forward, arching with soft limp neck
and at the most arched back position
add on the head and eyes game

take it easy

have fun


i've started guiding these over the phone
nutty but interesting

find the events page on
my "mother site"

wait, here's the link:  Event and Phone Consults for movement page

ciao for NOW

it's so simple

you can
I can
we all can
talk about "being present"

and we can

one is words

the other is experience

I like experiencing this
I'll bet you do too

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


this moment
is our life

we can remember that
and be flooded
with grace

and the abilities
to move
in new
and interesting ways

not just "move" move
but emotional
and business
and thinking
and "even"

when present
the chances are there
chances to be try experience
something new

and we are awake enough
to take them

sounds like a cool
the moment

the moment


each one was different
wasn't it

and these words,
not real,
shapes that create white shapes that
the eye
put together

they point

back at you?

the real you
behind the words???

i (whoever that is)

you in the Chris form tonight, for a few moments

Monday, November 14, 2011

This life

A train in the distance
pelvis on the chiar
eyes watching the letters appear on the screen

fresh fall air
the roll of wheels on the roadway
a dog barking
my pants on my legs
noticing how my wrists rest
on the table as I type

feet on floor

how could it get any better?

a friend to smile at across the table,
who knows

speculation isn't present

and can be fun

how can I smile across the table at

hey, that's what this poem is:
loving life
in the moment
is loving myself

it's all me
all you
we are one
and as you read this
your life
fills up the exact full wonderful niche
that you have
at this moment
looking at this computer screen

and what else
is filling your awareness
with that sweetest

this is me


Chris on Monday morning
in Austin Texas, weather finally divine,
low seventies in November


Friday, November 11, 2011

true story and what is true? talking while awake... not so easy

In my Sonoma days,

a nun came to town.

Not the Catholic kind, but Tibetan,
some fearless gal from Canada or Ohio
or something who
gone to
Nepal and sat in a cave for
????? a long time
under supervision of the Tibetan Buddhist

she'd gotten a lot of
strength wisdom freedom
this experience
and her talk was inspiring

I joined the line of those
saying, Oh wow, thanks for your
talk, blah blah

And then,
going out to my bike
that the blah balh
had all been said in a state


oh, well.

sensing feet and arms and aware of light
and sound
i walked the now not asleep Chris
back into the building
and found the nun
and said,
you know last time I talked
to you about how great your
talk was
I wasn't conscious
now I am
and thanks

She woke up to match me
out of the shaking hands
and we glowed
at each other for a brief
eternal now
then I went back out
to my bike

it would be nice to say
i've been awake since
that moment,

but alas,
the learning
and slipping
and re re remembering
(which members?)
over and over

it's a delight
to come home
each and



ps sign up for newsletter if you wish,
place to right for that

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

nature, now, love

the tree smiles down at

you are perfect to it
it cares not
whether you love it or like it or want it
or can care less

and the same for you:
you don't want the tree to gain or lose weight
to laugh at your jokes
to like, love, want, appreciate, respect you more

but you dig the treee
and it

and so you feel
like beyond like
like love

you just hang in the moment

and let the tree be the tree

it just hangs in it's tree moment
happily eating of the dark soul
and the sparkling light from
and the air all around

and it's fine with being a tree
and you're fine with you being
looking at and loving a tree

a sterling way to
waste some time
I'd say

Monday, November 07, 2011

What has yes done for you today?

what has
done for you

has it kept your heart going?

and your breathing,
(did you notice, now the breathing
keeps sweeping through
your life?)

and your breathing,
that grand old friend,

so new and fresh each time around,
the breath,
has it kept your breathing going?


and your smile?
well, when you did smile did you
feel good about smiling?

come on, say yes.

and how about saying yes to some no?
huh, like no, I'd rather just sit on this bench
and look at the trees and the sky, then drive
across town to buy something I don't need.

so, that saying no to the rushed life,
is a saying yes to the slow down
and enjoy the trees and the bees and the breeze
and the breathing of you
and the heart of you.

does that make sense?


and what now,
would you love to say yes
and I mean right now,
at this computer screen,
and having arms and legs and spine
and ribs and pelvis and eyes and ears,
and a room and feet
and fingers
and .....
any of those sound cool sweet kind neat
enough to say


so, the game is on
if you are

have a yes day night evening morning
and thank yourself for the
kindness of being yes
to the wonderful person

who is you

ciao for

From today's special needs children blog

The fundamental unit of intelligence is
the perception of differences.

Let's list a batch in a recent series of lessons with Baby Joe:

my pants vs his pants
my shirt vs his shirt
his shirt vs his pants

kicking down with both feet
kicking down one at a time

the sound of bob bob bob bob
the sound of mom mom mom mom

the feel of those sounds in my throat

tongue out in the middle
tongue out on the right side
tongue out of the left
(my modelling from a pouting mood he was in for a bit)

standing on the left knee in pre crawling
standing (= putting weight on the be "up") on the right knee

tons of differences in where his weight is place forward back
side side in those standing on one knee positions

right hand with right knee
right hand with left knee
left hand....

these except for the standing on the knee
are somewhat "fillers" in the lesson of shifting
and bearing weight
in inner connections (ribs, pelvis, head, elbows, legs)
which are too complicated to explain in writing

and they have to be doled out slowly enough
so they are really "felt" by the child

but, you get the idea

the world is full of differences
and all
are waiting for explorations
and recognition
and the consequent heightening
of intelligence

Friday, November 04, 2011

what would your mother say, if she were dead and you were grieving?

so hi,
and hey,
someone has to ask the question,
about the grieving thing
which is
and if you don't do it "enough"
all sorts of bad stuff is supposed to happen
and besides
everyone will think you're a creep

and God knows, the purpose of life
is to avoid other people's bad opinions

let's ask the dead Mom's
what they would want

and guess what,
this has not been tested or approved by the FDA

hey Mom,
you're dead,
and my question is:

how much should I grieve

and here's the answer I here:

"As much as you want,
but from the dead side
of things,
you really see how amazing
the life side of things
and don't grieve so much
you forget
even for a second
how amazingly lucky
YOU are
to be in the life boat,
the ship of the living,

so stay present while you grieve
and immensely grateful to be alive

and if you want to feel grateful
to me
go ahead,
that's good for you

but why cry about gratitude
I loved loving you

and if you want to keep loving
go ahead,
that's good for you,

but why cry because we can't hug
or talk

just send me love
all the love you want

it's the best you can
do and
loving yourself
for doing the best you can do

is what I want for you

and the yucky sobering part of
the part where you have these
chilly realizations that you
could have loved me more

hey, forgive yourself,
i could have loved you more,
and it's just the reminder that's important:

love people while they are alive
call them
write them,
have their memorial six months BEFORE
they die
not two weeks after

just learn from what you weren't perfect
I wasn't perfect either

forgive me
in case some of your grieving is convoluted
anger that I wasn't better

i was perfect
you weren't perfect

that's perfect

send me all the love you
and then
quit grieving
and go out and love so living
people better
and better each day

and here's a hint:
you're a living people

so love yourself better each


Feeling bad is good for you, if there is another You to watch

whether we are going
a divorce

or a separation
of whether the
weather is not something
we'd like to weather

the real weather is always

and guess what:
we are wired to worry
and concentrate on what could
go wrong

and we are also
"meant" to be happy

which means,
guess what guys?

our life's job is to rewire ourselves
to be happy
and to love

and guess what part two?
the only way to really do
that is to be
able to live in the present

and we'd so much like to just have
the right pill
or the right programming
or the right set of behaviors
or the right rules
or the right club
or right movies
or ....
but not really: you
can't automatically be awake

and awake is the way
into and out of unhappy
or unloving

and guess what part three?
unhappy and unloving
are really really close

because when you are busy
loving the rose and the sky
and your feet
and the faces of all the people
going by
you are happy

and when you are happy,
you just can't help love yourself
and those around you

so what about feeling bad
is good for you?

it's like pain in the shoulder:
which says:
hey, you are doing something wrong
(I know, I know must body work is
dumb and thinks the pain in the shoulder
means "something's wrong with you",
but ain't so)
find a more integrated and easy and aware way to be

same with the pain in the heart:

it's saying:
your old programming
is dumb
it's not working
and that's good news
because if the big You
that is really you
can watch how the little you
cause this pain
then, both the big and the little You and you
together and do think feel act sense

then, you'll be better smarter more easy
and awake
about how to
be happy
and loving

all this is abstract
in a way
and then again:
it's the overview we need
when feeling bad

who's doing it?

what do we need to change?
well, let's see what we are doing
and try something else out

what else?

ah, that's the game
and just like improving the shoulder:
the slower
and gentler
and more experimental
and sensing the results in the moment
and non judgmental/ curious
we are
the happier
(and more loving )
are the results

there you go

read this again
and then once again tomorrow
and have a wonderful weekend

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"Amazing YOU to more AMAZING you"



Thursday, November 03, 2011

Poem from two days ago:

if you are lost
has already found you
release you are not a fish in a net
struggling against your new existence

you are the net, the ocean,
the fisher, the fisher's friends, spouse, children
the waves, the broad blinking bright endless sky
full of stars
we forget to see
in the daylight

and the shifting sands
and the birds flinging themselves up to
lightness from sand
and water

and yes, you of course, are also
that beautiful mystified shimmering
quivering found and fondled and adored

it is done,
God is you having caught you
and all your waiting
for happiness
and deliverance
is over

you are already here
you were always here...