Black People ( Those formerly known as Negroes)

I'm rereading a fabulous book
Americanah,
by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

I feel it's my reward in a way for having suffered through,
braved through, learned way more than
this secure American wanted to know about the genocide
in Nigeria
having read
Half a Yellow Sun, her amazing first book.

And
Americanah,
is tremendous.

Love
Smarts
Sociology in spades

take that all the ways you want

part of the thrill of this book is that the main
character
Ifemelu, from Nigeria in the United States
write an anonymous blog ( among other things so the readers can't guess if she's Caribbean of African black,
the title;
Racteenth or Various Observations About American Blacks (Those Formerly Known as Negoes) be a Non-American Black

entry after entry in this fictional blog is worth the price of the book alone


let me just nudge into this discussion,
one we all like to avoid,
most of us anyway,

by talking of an amazing discovery in my younger days

I was between junior and senior year at Stanford, where a black ( usually from Africa)
might be spotted occasionally in the distance)
but my idea was that
we were all equal,
of course,
and that meant that blacks were just white people
with a black paint job

and then I spend the summer in a black community
in the hills of the western part of Virginia ( nearest big town: Bristol, Tennessee)

and was quite shocked to find out:
blacks laughed a lot,
liked watermelon
smelled different
danced (very) sexy

This was obvious once I knew it
But until I didn't
was hidden from me

In this book
a non American black says the kinds of things that are rarely
said
and she's a woman,
so there's lots of heart with the smarts

this is a terrible book review
and
read it
if you want a rare, deep and wonderful treat

If you would just have been different

Here's a sweet and funny and relentless
"fact" of life
to remember:

a 100% losing bet
is
that the past was different

Okay:
So it's split up time, separation,
divorce.
D I V O R C E
(remember the song)

and you've got the stories
torturing you:

We should have done better

We are a failure

I am a failure

He/She/ the other one
should have been different

And let's do something slightly different
than the usually
brilliant and powerful
Work of Byron Katie
( I Need your love, is that True?
is a book I haven't read,
and I'm sure it's brilliant, funny, and immensely helpful)















But let's play this game:
Mr Bad Guy/ Ms Awful has left,
or you have left them,
or you two have decided to end it,
or imploded

anyway:
the other is gone

And you have this story:
If just they had been like this.......

So, try this.
Imagine they were like ......

He's kind.
Or she's happy.
Or whatever.

And feel in you how that would make
you feel.

And now notice this is how you've made yourself
feel.

Get good at this:
make yourself feel just the way you'd feel if the
"One who should have been better,"
had been better.

Then you've got all the goodies
Inside,
and no
need to bitch and moan that they didn't do it
for you.

You can do it for yourself.

Right now.


Good,
have fun.