Once upon a time
we loved
loved loved
to discover
what the other person was like
how they were like us
how they were different
and then.
blah blah
you know the story:
we get ourselves in a box
and we put other people in a box
and then
oh, shit
we have two boxes talking
to each other
so,
let's have some fun in tonight's talking game
watch this
the first person that talks,
just go for two minutes
and the other listens, present and no interruption
and here's the catch.
the talker, tells what's going on in them
at the deepest possible level
but they tell it in gibberish
Then the listener
takes their turn guessing what the other person had to say
and then they tell whatever they want to say,
in gibberish
Then:'
the first person talks again,
in gibberish,
they can talk about how well the other guessed
or
what the other person missed,
and this is all told in gibberish
and back to the second:
and here we go,
the second
shares their responses
to what the guess was,
or what their reaction was,
or what more they want to say:
and it's all in gibberish
and go back and forth
and then it's over
and then have a ten minute
naked make out
and when are you going to figure out:
if you "got it right?"
I don't know.
I'm inventing this as I go
so,
you invent this
and there's the rest of the day:
just talk gibberish,
guess,
and give feedback
but in this Love section of the
Love and Sex before dinner,
no verbal shareback of the accuracy or not
of the guessing intuition about your gibberish
is this fun?
you tell me,
cheers
chris
I had a Gurdjieff teacher once,
whose wisdom had a slightly biting edge
to it at times
he talked of the "California hug"
( he was from New York), as "bringing people
close enough
to stab them in the back."
it's funny
and we all know that one,
the hug that disguises an undercurrent of
competition and unspoken animosity
and still:
it's a try
sort of
but there are hugs,
in a relationship situation
that beat a thousand words
One:
when things are at some verbal impasse
and one or both the people want to say
"to hell with it"
and stomp away
try instead
a no talk
feel deep into the other person
hug
of three to five minutes
and if the message starts to leak ( or pour ) through
that
and there is more love wanting to come out underneath
the fighting words,
go lie down
and
hug
and talk in horizontal and hugging
position
see what happens then
(This just saved a beautiful relationship
with my darling, where we looked at the edge of
termination
and sprung back to the depths that I felt were there,
and she did too once the body's wisdom inside the silent
hug began to sing out to both of us)
And
Two:
(there could be a whole book of when and how to
hug
couldn't there?
For now though, just two, since they came up recently,
to great advantage in our relationship)
Say your relationship isn't in trouble,
but is "just" at loose ends
you want more to be happening
and it seems like it isn't
it seems like time to leave each other alone
for awhile
not out of trouble this time,
but out of a sense of "What do we really want to do?"
This is for an intimate relationship.
Don't go apart.
Don't go for entertainment.
Don't go for sex.
Do,
take off your clothes,
get under the covers,
and
hug.
Hug and talk.
Hug and sleep.
Hug and ....
you know the options.
Set it up as an hour date.
This often could be a substitute for going to the movies,
which is to distract the two of you from whatever is holding you apart.
Instead. Get naked.
Get close.
See what happens.
Don't demand anything.
Listen to and get to know each other.
You really have that hour to "waste."
It's about having a beautiful life
where love
is central.
The price you / I/ we need to pay:
some solid hug and wait and see time.
Try it.
You be delighted is my guess.
