Saturday, December 31, 2011

Love is big, and why not?

Love is easy

          Love is in no hurry

                     Love is kind

                              Love is not demanding

                                      Love expands your mind

And your heart

your heart

your Heart is free in love

             and beats for yourself and the Other and for the whole World

                                 wishing they two three four six billion (or is it seven?) could

                                             so happy

happiness is what we came for

                            and love is the road

                                          Love has no shame

                                                     it shines out to all the world

                  wishing wanting helping everyone to smile forth
                        into the next day
                               into the new year
                                        into the next hour
                                              into the next minute
                                                 into the this very now now.......moment

love is the sweetness of Now
                     loving itself in another Form
                                  over and over and over

 happy new years

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Loving the X, especially if you have kids

 Back from here, but nice to look at

If you have kids,
and you gave yourself a divorce
or found one snuck up on you,
or even got knocked around by one,
that's done,
and you still have the kids

and the X is still a huge part of
their life

and if you don't love the X,
even the stinky, yucky parts of the X,
then that resentment/ dislike/ hatred/ fear
whatever it comes up as for you
that glunk, let's call  it,
is going to sneak into your relationship
to your children

and damage them

and you don't want to do that

so why "forgive"
or let go
and learn to love the gunky X?

for the children's sake

for the sake of your soul

and do get this clear:
"Loving your enemy" does not mean
getting back together with them,
or even condoning actions they still do
that might be harmful to the children

But if their behavior is slightly unappealling to
or even hugely unappealling
it's your job to love them anyway

for your soul's sake
and for your children's sake

This is a big subject, and might as well start
plugging and working away on any and all resentments,
because if you have even the tiniest left,
even though you can find a new mate,
you won't find a relationship of unconditional love,
until you've learned to do so
with the parent of your children

their gunkiness
is their business
and it's torturing them every day of their
whether they know it or not

oh, wll

your resentment and lack of forgiveness
torturing and poisoning your insides
making it harder or maybe even impossible
to make as much money as you'd like to make
as I keep pointing out:
undermining your children's ability to love themselves

even if they think they are
"doing fine"
and you think they are "Doing fine,"
if they sense your lack of love,
that's going to cripple them not only
with the X,
but with themselves,
because whatever gunk the X has,
they'll pick up part of it,
and if they don't have the ability to forgive
themselves this,
then they are trapped in the old self hatred trap

which isn't a nice place to be

what to do

First and easiest
is the work of Byron Katie (

Judge your neighbor
Write it down
Ask 4 questions
Turn it around

"My X shouldn't have ....."

There it's written.

Q1 Is it true that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

Q2: Can I absolutely know that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

Q3 How do I feel, react and live when I believe that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

Q4… Who would I be without attaching to, or without having the thought that "My X shouldn't have ....."?

The turn around requires some explaining, but it's like:

"My X should have loved me more"

turns around to I should have loved my X more

and I should love myself more.

On this screen this doesn't seem like a way to transform your life.

You can work intensive days with my and get huge parts of suffering out of the way, and do great upgrading to the way you enjoy and move your body, and without that, you can go to
and find videos and worksheets to guide yourself through it.

It's work, not just lazily wishing you felt better.
But it's working like gardening or building a home
that will radically improve your life.



Sunday, December 25, 2011

christmas in an airport

leaving Southern California
for love, learning, laughter
waking up,
and usefulness in

you know
it sounds bad
like it's all hurried and hassled
and that's a bunk way
to do

and it's calm
the line for Southwest was zero
you walk right to the counter

and the homeland security
no line

people are waiting for a plane
but calm
i think they all "did"
Christmas yesterday

and what does this have to
with a blog called
Poems from Now

life is always now
and airports
and "not being there yet"
are parts of life

and "not being there yet"
is silly
isn't it
cause we are always

and when the next place
it will delightfully

and then next place

and now
apparently you
and i
are "at" a computer

and your now
doesn't synchronize on
a watch/ clock with
my now

but for you
your experience of
this now
can always be counted
on to bring you
to the best of what life
for you

and guess what?
many cell calls being made
and what are they saying?

same as what I'll say:
MErry Christmas.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas cometh

a light shines in the sky

a light shines in you

it signals something amazing

it moves

the wise folks in you follow the light

it ends up in a smelly place
a humble place

new birth
helpless baby

and the light of the world
in you
is born
and begins its journey
to the center of the

to the Son of God
a star
the Sun of God

in you




Tuesday, December 20, 2011

if your Mom is falling apart and your wonderful advicd

if your Mom is
falling apart
and your wonderful advice
is sometimes heard
sometimes not

and the sun shines
and her house is too hot
and sisters come and go
and phone calls go on
and on

and the food dance
is sometimes friendly
sometimes iffy

and the weirdness of forgetteries
practicing for alheimers

and the crunched over body
no longer sure in movement

and everyone wants to help
and sometimes to compete
that their way of helping is better

and so what'
it's a dance

learning to love
a dance

not the only dance in

but one of the sweetest

maybe the sweetest

i dance
sometimes am totally present
sometimes not

and that
the dance of loving my moments
each one


life is

so are you
no matter how broken
or healed
you are

you are amazing

don't forget
don't forget
don't forget

which is kind of
kin to

remember yourself
and the glory of



Thursday, December 15, 2011

the importance of love

in love we remember
to forget
the usual lie
the lie that it's
"all about me"

that we have to
"get our needs met"

that the you over there
is to balance out
the "me" over here

in love
it's a falling
wanting their life
to be good

their life to be stretching


if you are lucky
your love is about wanting
and the other
to be awake

and in that awakeness
giggling over the faults and
and silly habitual stuck points
in yourself

let them talk about their
if they want

that's their business

in love we
don't need to improve
we just need to listen

"just" need to be present

don't even need to
but who wouldn't be present
in the company
of another person,
any other person,
because we all are
so amazing

and this is
kin da saying we could profit
big time by loving anyone
near or around us

that's a thought,

and what of past "lovers"

they aren't around
but they are still in our hearts

love them,
of course,
how can you not?

it's so painful
to deny the love that we are

and when someone else
can get close to that fire

see what ignites

life is good
and can get better and better

Thursday night
about to take flight to
to see a grizzly bear called Mom

great practice in loving
this gal is
and Thanks God
for all the practice you
send my way

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Special Needs Children: perhaps compression, for sure: increase perception of differences

Caveat: this is not official Anat Baniel Method,
compression is recommended by my friend,
fellow ABM practitioner, and special needs mom,
Michelle Bensky
(She advised the remarks and writing on the earlier
post called:
On the Spectrum: Fragile X and Autism)

I thought of compression again, after having heard from
Mischelle that she threw out the brushing idea, and kept the
compression from PT, because this weekend I had a number of
very successful sessions with a baby with Prader-Willi Syndrome.
His Mom had just started squeezing this and squeezing that,
and the baby liked it, and it seemed to be useful to his learning.

My addition, of course,
is to always have differences and contrasts and teaming up
in mind.

Which means?

Compress/ squeeze the left knee, say knee.
Do this three or four times with different intensity.

Then compress/ squeeze the right elbow, again
with variations, and saying the word elbow.

The perhaps do the two together.

Or, perhaps work your way up the leg.
Saying different parts as you come to them.

Or right left differences,
squeezing back and forth the right hand and the left hand,
right thigh, left thigh.

Go slowly. Let whatever "good" the compression does,
and it certainly wakes a child up to the locations of itself,
can be sweetly increased by having contrasts and the verbal sounds,
and going slowly enough so that each compression/ squeeze can be registered.

Registered where?

The brain, of course.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Special vs Holy Relationship: Course of Miracles via Marianne Williamson

This quote is in the relationships section
(recall all the power of the idea
of learning as the increased perception of differences)
"unholy relationship"
and a holy one:

"For an unholy relationship is based of
where each thinks the other has what
they have not.
They come together, each to rob the other.
They stay until they think that there is nothing
to steal, and then
move on.
And so they wander through a world of
unlike themselves [actually like themselves, in their weird
pseudo isolation, but thinking everyone is unlike]
living in their bodies perhaps under a common
that shelter neither;
in the same room and yet a world apart.

A holy relationship
starts from a different promise.
EAch one has looked within
and seen no lack.
Accepting their own completion, each would extend
it by
with the other, whole as themselves."

And holy wholey as two/ one.

This is from Marianne Williamson's
A Return to Love.

The quote is from the Course on Miracles
and then she goes on to increase clarity
on this distinction.

Of the wanting to get
vs wanting to share variety:

other has to shape up
vs other is grand

other should "behave" according to our program
vs other should shake us up a little or lot and get us
to expand loving

and so on

Get it and read yourself.

This is a nice quote of hers, though:

"Our ego is merely our fear.
We all have egos, that doesn't make us bad people.
Our egos are not where we are bad,
but where we are wounded."

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Lonely, alone ly, making friends, sunday night ramble, maybe "good for you"

loneliness is one thing
alone ness is another

you know how
people pay big bucks
to go on a retreat
and get all by themselves
away from others,
not talking at mealtimes?

it's to just shut up
and deal with the inner stuff

and alone time can be like that
time to just sit
with or without journal
and let all the crap come up
and watch it
or do the Katie work on
or realize you need help with it
and then just
be empty
and enjoy that power of
sweet nothing
to replenish
almost everything

and then again,
it's nice to have friends

how do you make friends

a. be yourself

b. go up to people who
look like they might be able to tolerate you
as yourself

c. find something to like in them

d. don't worry if they like you,
just keep being yourself
and liking them

e. if this doesn't scare them off

you've got a friend

enough for this cold
and sweet night
for NOW

Friday, December 09, 2011

Best first line of poem, thank z be to Mary Oliver: You do not have to be good

You do not have to be good

You don't have to finish your breakfast and wash the dishes
before you go to write a poem
or take a walk
or go back to bed and make love to everyone you love

You do not have to say your prayers
Nor do you have to scorn those who pray continuously

You do not have to turn out the lights
and go to sleep at

You do not have to be fresh and perky the next

Nor need you repent of the late night reading
walking under the stars
making love to everyone you love
lying awake in blessed non sleep not dreaming
not thinking
not even meditating

just warm
lying there
wasting time

You do not have to not waste time

You can linger
almost anything to good effect
whatever good effect means,
let's say it means: joyful sustanence

and linger away
at the book, the lover, the bed, the walk,
the poem,

even your work

You do not have to begrudge your
Nor listen to anyone who is boring you

You do not have to wait until tomorrow
to be
nor even
until this poem is over

wild geese fly over Mary Oliver's poem
and the heater hums in mine
a rare cold day in Austin
in Texas
where I never thought I'd be
and I'm in love
with so many things
and I could blame it on Austin
or God
or you

but why bother

you do not have to have an excuse
for joy

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

if love

if love is our subject to
what to say

except the obvious
love is the bloodstream of the universe
or something like that

and let's be more silly slash direct
is who we is
when we let go
of the need to be who
we aren't

(which was imposed on us by
the frightened beaten down
ones who had forgotten that they
were love
and wanted rules and regulations
to make the world safe
for the dullness and pain
of the love
less life

and that's what's called an aside)

back to love
who we
when we aren't who we

our essence
the flow flood frolic that dances
all the time in us
and comes out in
and dance
and giggles
and sweet touch
and happy slurp
and cheerful chirp
of bird man woman bee
or flower

for surely the petals
in the sun
blazing in all their easy might
are but a shimmering
of the universe of

something like that



ps, if you want more waterfalls and creeks
and wild geese in this poem,
please feel free to go back
and insert
anything and everything
that you love
in this ocean
merry mishmash
of words
beneath which love
can lurk
wishes to lurk
probably is lurking

(or giggling)

Monday, December 05, 2011

Piggybacking on Evolution

Piggybacking on Evolution

What we do, as Feldenkrais and Anat Baniel practitioners, is elusive to many, and extremely effect, often. One way I’ve come to see as one source of our effectiveness is what I call “piggybacking” on evolution.

Many types of bodywork seem interested in “fixing” this problem or that. Many want to balance something. Many wish to release “blocked” energy.

And we just move people slowly and gently in ways related to this famous word “function.” Functional Integration we call what we do when we aren’t being lazy and called it FI. I’m a big fan of keeping that word Function front and center, and this piggybacking phrase of mine could be little more than another way of saying that.

Then again, maybe it hints to a bit more.

Take one of the simplest and most effective Functional Integration lessons. ( Notice I did not say FI). The client lies on their side, both arms forward, one palm on the other. We work with the shoulder via the vertebrae and the ribs and the pelvis and gently moving the hand forward and the usual this and that.

And what are we doing this “working with” the shoulder.

We’re doing what I call piggybacking on evolution, which in this case is a human body evolved with a shoulder very loosely connected to the other bones of our body so that the “function” of reaching forward can be incredibly fluid and accurate and of almost infinite variation.

Evolution helped us create such a shoulder to help the hands reach forward for food, for love, for craft, for cooking, for wrestling, for opening doors and throwing spears.

We have a big batch of vertebrae, all of which can contribute to this reaching forward function.

As practitioners we don’t have to sweat “range of motion” or even “relaxation.” We “just” have to help that amazing product of evolution, the human shoulder, become even better at becoming a shoulder.

We can roll the ribs. We can engage the neck. We can connect the pelvis to the shoulder. Every little thing we do that “wakes up” that shoulder to be a better “functioning” example of the shoulder that evolution spent millions of years creating for human beings, every little bit adds up, because it’s way IMPORTANT to four million years of humanity that this shoulder be a better and better shoulder.

And that’s what I mean by “piggybacking” on evolution.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

It's Sunday night, and you are "all alone" and you don't even feel like

want to escape into a movie
or even a book
and reading a good book
can be such a sweet travel to another world
another mind
another time

and you don't want to escape
but you don't feel so great
and the busy ness of work isn't around
to take your mind off your loneliness

and you have this suspicion that under
the loneliness
is something worthwhile

you have this glimmer of courage that says:
you are enough
you are enough
without the movie
without the book
without the TV show
without the X there to nag and fight with
and even if it's nagging and fighting at least it's someone Else around

and that doesn't appeal to you

it's kind of quiet

and there's something a little scary about that
and something wonderful

the wonderful is a bit of a mystery to you
and you have this feeling
this intuition:
letting the the quiet talk to me
is a kind of food

food for my "soul"
whatever my soul is

and if you think about "soul,"
since it's beyond words,
your head kind of hurts
and it's annoying,
like trying to solve a puzzle in
and you don't know Chinese

but when you just go with the feeling
that the "soul"
and this quiet ness
fed each other somehow
and you don't have to "know" how

especially since "knowing how"
is usually words
words in the head
doesn't not equal silence

and you are going to just
let this silence
feed something in
that you don't need
to name
and don't need to tell anyone about and
that's sweet relief


welcome to self love

feeding yourself the food of solitude
and silence

so inexpensive
and so immensely valuable

rest into it



Thursday, December 01, 2011

the waves of now, for those of us away, temporarily, from the ocean

I don't live in Nature
here in hurly burly wonderful Austin

and is that true,
that I don't live in Nature?

what about these
body brain miracle carrying around
that lift to the heavens
and swallow great gobs of the wide open
even if it's city sky
it's mighty high
mighty free
mighty reminds me of the real me

and what about,
the almost every morning
down the paved road a bit
tree lined calm road
to a small park,
there is grass
slopping to the sunrise west
and on that bare feet usually play
a waking up tai chi
right thumb sensed all the way to left big toe,
left ring finger filled in hand wrist arms shoulder ribs
spine pelvis  right thigh knee lower leg foot out to
right ring toe
that kind of bare foot
on grass
full of the inside body bone miracle me

and that's kind of an inner nature
meets outer nature

moving slowly, when I take time
and remember
slowly enough to feel the "small nature,"
the world I carry around inside

sensing the inner oceans
liquid in us
the bone mountains
the sky in our lungs
the sunshine in our eyes
or is it brain
or is it soul
and the inner sun
peaceful spreading of awareness

of this
then riding that wave
the now wave
always another wave coming along

and that game can be played
the now surfing

and with the legs and arms and eyes and chest and pelvis
and spine and breathing
basking in mindful attention
how can nature not nurture our
almost every moment?

awareness is a glow
a light that ripples out
like the pebble in the water,
but in all directions,
into us
and out of us,
and shines and shines,
who knows,
maybe forever

Monday, November 28, 2011

What does love have to do with it?

What does love have to do with it?

So sings Tina Turner, and what is she wailing about to such charged and thrilling effect? She is saying, perhaps, that one of life’s possibilities is to just get down, and naked and happy, and “ball” away, and let the animal in your be deeply satisfied.

Not just the warmth of flesh to flesh and the brain and body delight of tongue to tongue and the relief of simple minded, or almost no minded, pleasure in the moment, but the discharge of overloaded and worried and hurried and unfocused nervous systems, coming together to focus on the pleasure of being alive.
Zippie, zowie, eh?

This hints toward that, me thinks, this many people’s favorite poem by Mary Oliver:

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

This poem is, to my ears and heart, a love song to reality. All she needs is some river otters, and tiger cubs and dolphins and children rolling in the mud. And lovers.
This wild warm flesh in us knows how to love

And wants to be and know and live what it knows.

And it is not a thing to rush, and not a thing to force into action with the tom toms of loud music, or the crashing of ecstatic drugs, or the thrill of hidden secretive adulterous “affairs.”

Love, sex, the warm flesh, they know how to met under the sheets and on the meadow, and even, hints of future pleasures, in a slow sweet dance either indoors or out, but it is the natural that leads to the super natural. Supernatural is the norm when we slow into the reality of how amazing life has made the possibilities of joining in the magic and only real NOW.

So, what the heck am I saying?

Read those sentences again. They aren’t meant to be textbook linear. This is not a book for the left brain, nor for the right, nor for the wrong, nor for the correct.

This is a working manual of liberation, and at any moment, even this darn sweet one, Right Now, we can waken to the bliss and sweetness of human/ beyond human existence on this planet, this blue water green plant brown mud, grey cloud, gold leaf, red blood, purple mountain majesty Earth.

And what is our, my, your answer so far to the Tina Turner taunt: What does love have to do with it?

Perhaps, letting the mind slip into old categories, the above ramble seems to imply: love isn’t part of the deal. It’s the geese and the soft warm flesh and the mud river otter and the happy frolicking puppy inside us that sex is satisfying, and what does love have to do with that?

And good old left brain, either/ or land says, nothing. Woopie, just “go for it,” and no brainer is happiness.

And I say: no brainer is non life because you and I can’t stand talk walk crawl live a second without our brain, so in a way (and this will be a whole other chapter), the common and to my mind (and perhaps mine alone) depraved use of the slogan “no brainer,” shows A., the diminished brain of the speaker of this cliché ( add 24/7, and my plate is full, and you’ve got a “full plate” of nonsense behind which to hide from reality), B, how out of touch our present society is with the fundamental characteristic of humanity: our ability to use our brains to learn.

Unfortunately, we can also use our brains to wire ourselves deeper into our ruts, including our clichés, and what does love have to do with THAT?


Because love can only be fresh.

To make love to another is to make something out of the given materials, but to lift up to another level, to make as if the make a house or a pair of pants or a shirt or a deck or a garden.

To make love is to construct something beautiful between two people and then the very sweet questions comes round to where it should be: what does sex have to do with it?

Because a mother can make love with her baby bringing it to her nipple, or helping her child up from a fall and smiling and touching the hurt knee and being in sympathy and delight with the child for moving forward enough in their adventure to have a “mistake.” (There are “throw away” phrases as we go along here, that could be an entire essay. Maybe they will be by the time the book/ manual is finished.)

And two people can make love by sitting down and speaking slowly and clearly, looking in each other’s eyes and hearing their own voice and enjoying their own and the other person’s breathing and feeling gratitude for the listening and gratitude for the discovery of what they are saying in this very moment.

And in this very moment, I can ask again, and you can read and hear and perhaps think about this: what does Sex have to do with making love?

Cover up the rest.

Rest the word reader in you.

Take a walk short enough so you don’t do chores and get distracted and long enough so the tall and foot worthy animal in you and the breather in the world of motion can come back to the center of your understanding of who you are. And while you walk in this way, feeling your feet, and feeling your breathing, and delighting in the sounds and sights of the swish of Now, have somewhere in their the wonderment: what does sex have to do with it?

Really: short walk. Plan and succeed to come back to this thought river ramble gift exploration.

Okay, I walked and my legs were alive.

Do you ever sense your entire leg, from toes, all five toes, up to your hip joint, and then add on the other leg, all five of its toes and all of the whole big amazingness of it up to that hip joint?

Legs are a big part of the real estate of the body. Humans got upright and ran down game, and made the game of life a grand adventure, and when sex gets involved we go below the navel and awaken to the big amazing motion of life.

And that, of course is only part of the answer, if there is any answer.

Sex is motion.

Sex is interaction.

Sex is the lure into the present.

All that helps love: there is another person.

That person is fine wonderful amazing, yes, thank you, thank you.

That person is “in it” with us, back and forth, we have something to say, they have something to say.

Life is good.

In the present, they are what they are. They don’t have to be something tomorrow. They don’t have to have been better yesterday. They are filling up our now with the delight of their now and our now wowing along together.

If we are lucky, we don’t quite know what we are doing, or how it’s going to shift and play and change.

And love is play. Discovery: who are you.

And sex is play. Discovery: who are you. Who am I?

And love and sex are discovery: who are we? What can this we make together?

Sometimes it can make a baby.

Sometimes it can make love, or make a bigger brighter fresher more amazing love.

And isn’t that fine?

The above is the third chapter in a book, Backs, Necks, Sex and Brains, that should be done by March of next year. If you perhaps want each chapter as it rolls out, let me know, and perhaps we can make an arrangement to "buy forward" the book in it's unfolding.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

if your posture is slumpy, can your mood be far behind

when we are present
it's a two edge thing
sort of

cause we notice when we
are slagging out on ourselves

like slumping in

and those darn moments
wonderful moments
"count" too

it's all life
God's blessing
Life's blessing
in the slump mode

we can notice the shape
of our spines
and the way that effects breathing

is this how we want to live
our lives
right now

and then, maybe,
get up,
take a walk

touch the ground and the sky
do a few push ups
skip a bit, lie down, roll on the bed,

you know
what would you
do right now
if you listen
to this body
you are hanging out in
in the moment

I'm going to leave the fingers
off the keyboard
and go do some things



Friday, November 25, 2011

Loving What Is

here's a short cut
for thanks

love what's in front of you

love what's behind you

look forward to loving what
may bring

and then
what's wrong with loving
this computer screen
telling you this suave advise

and if it annoys
love and be thanks ful
for that

almost cheating this
weird wonderful aspect of God

all is good
you are good
loving everything is God's game

yours too
when you
we all
do it

for NOW

Thursday, November 24, 2011


wild Orcas turk ey

thanks to this now
and this next one too

the now
so like the best parent
could ever be

always there for you

you don't need to do anything to deserve it

it's always yours

no one can take it away

no waiting

no stress

the now, like awareness
is always available

in every moment

and is now

or does awareness light
up the now

and without words
and a need for a mental scheme

does it mattter

this present moment

and thanks
for all the moments
this last year
to which we were present

and all the trees birds leaves snails animals
people sunsets music movies books laughter
good food
blah blah

life is good
as good as we let it be
when we stop trying to bully
it into shape

and bully for us
when we try and fail

and then
we put the seed in the ground,
mindfully perhaps,
and water the seed,
mindfully perhaps,
and watch the seed grow to fullness,
over many days,
each day
like each now,

and then
each day being exactly itself
it is finally the big plant with the beautiful
or the yummy food
and we can pick and eat and savor
that food,
just as today we might savor
some food,

mindfully perhaps

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

on the machine in the mornng

Thich Nhat Hahn
confessed to writing
being one of the hardest
times to be present

i'll confess the
especially at the computer

in hand
my handwriting is so bad
that luckily
I have to slow down
if I want to read it later

a grand incentive to be
while the pen
moves along

maybe I can try typing
on computer land
with attention on one
finger and
its companion toe
(right ring finger, left ring toe, say)
while I write

that "makes" me
slow down

not the worst
tragedy in the world

i breathe
when i sense a finger
and a toe

what was i doing before?

the old silliness:
holding my breath
"it's over"

for NOW

Monday, November 21, 2011

Beyond the arguing, hey, let's try something else

Most so called conversation
is two people, semi-listening
and mainly
"thinking" what they are going
to say
and waiting for an opening
to sneak, shove, slide or otherwise
to insert
very very important words

BAD conversation
aka arguing
aka "fighting" has two generic
one worse than the other
and both  a sad waste of
human life love
and liberty

the normal awful arguing mode
generic style is:
person A, telling person B
I'm right, and you are wrong

person B, sees it just the opposite
and is defending, attacking, interrupting,
whatever it takes for this important message:
I'm right and you are wrong

notice the similarity in their messages

the AWFUL style
is both have this message:
I'm good, you are bad


what's some alternatives,
non habitual communication
as it were

one is Non Violent Communication
which isn't my training
and it's roughly:
let the other guy talk
+ really listen
and then say:
okay, what it seems to me
is that your feel ......
because you need/ want/ feel you aren't getting.....

It takes the amazing assumption
the other person has real issues, feelings, and order in their
own world


A tried and true other way:

person A listens
person B talks, rants, accuses
whatever for awhile
(way way best to set a timer here,
a little ranting goes a long way if
person B has to really listen, can't interrupt,
and had to repeat it back)

and that's the next step
person B says to A,
here's what I heard you say,
and gives it back
without any interpretation
or defending

( tough stuff,
but good,
"You said I was a creep
and never pay enough attention to you,
and I really let you down when...")

And then, B asks: did I miss anything
(another reason for a 2 minute to 3 minute turn each,
it's hard to remember too much stuff,
especially when it's emotional "stuff')

if A says you missed....
then B says, okay, I missed ....

If A says, no you got it,
then B takes a short turn
A listens without interruptin
and repeats it back

Called reflective listening

this practice,
the non habitual listening
and honoring the other person,
can really help
that wounded feeling of
"You don't care about me,
won't listen to me feeling"

which is often true in arguing
when the yelling is about OUR important
and precludes listening

there are two more cool non habitual
communication games
I like

and let's make it short

each requires you to
take turns with a timer
it can be a little,
or a lot longer,
since there is no feedback

in the first type:
when it's your turn
you talk about anything
except any feedback, suggestion, etc
about what the other said

so each of you agrees to only talk
about issues that don't involve the other

in the more complicated type,
you can address whatever came
but you have to listen when it's your turn
to listen
and the more you can keep it
in the famous "I" statement
the better

this is tricky
and can work in a mature
especially one committed
to full time being present

this wasn't really a poem
was it?

who knows

could we both,
you gentle reader
and me sincere writer,
go back to the beginning
and read the whole darn thing
with an attempt to follow our breathing
and sense two arms
and two legs
and one
at the same

I'll give it a go

you'll do what you do

i had to read it several times,
discovering typos along the way

and rereading
and going slowly
is nice

very nice

at a point
the words
didn't matter,
just being present
plenty good

hope your
is presenting you
with ease and joy

and if nothing else
that thrill of being
in your life
at the moment you are living
your life

Friday, November 18, 2011

what would Awakened Frienship Look Like

have you ever tried
to "remember yourself"
all day

attention in
one breathing
or arms and legs
and attention out
on the world of air and light and sound
and actions
we are moving through?

tis hard
even in simple circumstances

and noted when we
"lose it" most can
be delightful realization
of the immensity
of the "sleep" of most of our life

(even as i type this....)

and one of for
"wake up times"

is talking to another

and I'm in the mood to
have Awakened

with as many people as can stand

the waking up tribe

it's a kind of love
that leaves the clothes on
and take off the cage
around the heart

want to join me?

for NOW

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Embodied Relationship, Awakened Movement, "Enlightenment in Action" is Business and Visionaries

Once again
I have revamped my website
and clarified the vision
of how I want to contribute
my gifts and learnings to
the world

this isn't a poem

you are a poem

and when I say that
it occurs to me
that I have to be a poem
to see
you as a poem

and i come back to breathing
and gravity

the wonder of a spine
holding up the eyes
in the head
and the air
coming in from up top
and filling the all of me
the now of me

how's all the going
for you

this breathing
is a way of re
membering we are alive
this connection
to gravity
the groundedness that isn't wu wu
but part of sweet parcel
of the ongoing

Life on Earth

time to walk
even if it

which is the skin's story
about the air

and can't we love
all these stories
and then slip back
into the experience behind
the stories

well, sometimes I can
sometimes I yammer

me, i like life on its own terms.

how about you.

and the websire
you could look at it if
you wish:

Elms Emerald Alchemy
is says at the top


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Really simple movement lesson because I haven't had one for awhile and they are so GOOD for you. and FUN

sit in a chair

read each instruction a couple of times

then close your eyes and "do it"

if you flub, so f.... what
read again, try again
life is learning

1. sit in a chair and put both
hands in the belly region,
thumbs near the ribs,
finger down lower

in this position,
bend you head forward toward your
belly button
(sort of, i.e. not towards the knees,
but as curly up as you can)

go slowly

let your hands squeeze in as you do

then come back up to more or less upright


do it again

about ten times

read this two more times,
play with it
"do it"

2.  Do the same darn
except this time pay attention to

roll back a little on your pelvis
as you tuck your head down
and pinch in
with your hands to feel how your stomach is contracting

come back up

rest a breath

do this again, each time resting
each time "sensing" something more
about yourself

3. rest between each number
then put one hand on your lower back
and one on your belly

let your head hang forward,
as close to your chest as possible

there, all relaxed and such
do these three things
at the same time

belly forward and arch your back

sternum/ breast bone up and forward

rolling a bit forward on your pelvis

go slow
read it twice
or have it read to you
print in up
just do it

4. sit "normal"
and figure out how to do this:
turn your head to the left and your eyes to the right
and your head to the right and eyes to the left

go slow
don't move head or eyes
take it easy


5. Go back to number two,
the leaning forward and squeezing.
this time when you go down as far as possible,
let your head be even softer,
and add in number four, which means head right as eyes go left,
and the other way

and see how soft it can be

6. rest

go back to number three,
the belly forward, arching with soft limp neck
and at the most arched back position
add on the head and eyes game

take it easy

have fun


i've started guiding these over the phone
nutty but interesting

find the events page on
my "mother site"

wait, here's the link:  Event and Phone Consults for movement page

ciao for NOW

it's so simple

you can
I can
we all can
talk about "being present"

and we can

one is words

the other is experience

I like experiencing this
I'll bet you do too

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


this moment
is our life

we can remember that
and be flooded
with grace

and the abilities
to move
in new
and interesting ways

not just "move" move
but emotional
and business
and thinking
and "even"

when present
the chances are there
chances to be try experience
something new

and we are awake enough
to take them

sounds like a cool
the moment

the moment


each one was different
wasn't it

and these words,
not real,
shapes that create white shapes that
the eye
put together

they point

back at you?

the real you
behind the words???

i (whoever that is)

you in the Chris form tonight, for a few moments

Monday, November 14, 2011

This life

A train in the distance
pelvis on the chiar
eyes watching the letters appear on the screen

fresh fall air
the roll of wheels on the roadway
a dog barking
my pants on my legs
noticing how my wrists rest
on the table as I type

feet on floor

how could it get any better?

a friend to smile at across the table,
who knows

speculation isn't present

and can be fun

how can I smile across the table at

hey, that's what this poem is:
loving life
in the moment
is loving myself

it's all me
all you
we are one
and as you read this
your life
fills up the exact full wonderful niche
that you have
at this moment
looking at this computer screen

and what else
is filling your awareness
with that sweetest

this is me


Chris on Monday morning
in Austin Texas, weather finally divine,
low seventies in November


Friday, November 11, 2011

true story and what is true? talking while awake... not so easy

In my Sonoma days,

a nun came to town.

Not the Catholic kind, but Tibetan,
some fearless gal from Canada or Ohio
or something who
gone to
Nepal and sat in a cave for
????? a long time
under supervision of the Tibetan Buddhist

she'd gotten a lot of
strength wisdom freedom
this experience
and her talk was inspiring

I joined the line of those
saying, Oh wow, thanks for your
talk, blah blah

And then,
going out to my bike
that the blah balh
had all been said in a state


oh, well.

sensing feet and arms and aware of light
and sound
i walked the now not asleep Chris
back into the building
and found the nun
and said,
you know last time I talked
to you about how great your
talk was
I wasn't conscious
now I am
and thanks

She woke up to match me
out of the shaking hands
and we glowed
at each other for a brief
eternal now
then I went back out
to my bike

it would be nice to say
i've been awake since
that moment,

but alas,
the learning
and slipping
and re re remembering
(which members?)
over and over

it's a delight
to come home
each and



ps sign up for newsletter if you wish,
place to right for that

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

nature, now, love

the tree smiles down at

you are perfect to it
it cares not
whether you love it or like it or want it
or can care less

and the same for you:
you don't want the tree to gain or lose weight
to laugh at your jokes
to like, love, want, appreciate, respect you more

but you dig the treee
and it

and so you feel
like beyond like
like love

you just hang in the moment

and let the tree be the tree

it just hangs in it's tree moment
happily eating of the dark soul
and the sparkling light from
and the air all around

and it's fine with being a tree
and you're fine with you being
looking at and loving a tree

a sterling way to
waste some time
I'd say

Monday, November 07, 2011

What has yes done for you today?

what has
done for you

has it kept your heart going?

and your breathing,
(did you notice, now the breathing
keeps sweeping through
your life?)

and your breathing,
that grand old friend,

so new and fresh each time around,
the breath,
has it kept your breathing going?


and your smile?
well, when you did smile did you
feel good about smiling?

come on, say yes.

and how about saying yes to some no?
huh, like no, I'd rather just sit on this bench
and look at the trees and the sky, then drive
across town to buy something I don't need.

so, that saying no to the rushed life,
is a saying yes to the slow down
and enjoy the trees and the bees and the breeze
and the breathing of you
and the heart of you.

does that make sense?


and what now,
would you love to say yes
and I mean right now,
at this computer screen,
and having arms and legs and spine
and ribs and pelvis and eyes and ears,
and a room and feet
and fingers
and .....
any of those sound cool sweet kind neat
enough to say


so, the game is on
if you are

have a yes day night evening morning
and thank yourself for the
kindness of being yes
to the wonderful person

who is you

ciao for

From today's special needs children blog

The fundamental unit of intelligence is
the perception of differences.

Let's list a batch in a recent series of lessons with Baby Joe:

my pants vs his pants
my shirt vs his shirt
his shirt vs his pants

kicking down with both feet
kicking down one at a time

the sound of bob bob bob bob
the sound of mom mom mom mom

the feel of those sounds in my throat

tongue out in the middle
tongue out on the right side
tongue out of the left
(my modelling from a pouting mood he was in for a bit)

standing on the left knee in pre crawling
standing (= putting weight on the be "up") on the right knee

tons of differences in where his weight is place forward back
side side in those standing on one knee positions

right hand with right knee
right hand with left knee
left hand....

these except for the standing on the knee
are somewhat "fillers" in the lesson of shifting
and bearing weight
in inner connections (ribs, pelvis, head, elbows, legs)
which are too complicated to explain in writing

and they have to be doled out slowly enough
so they are really "felt" by the child

but, you get the idea

the world is full of differences
and all
are waiting for explorations
and recognition
and the consequent heightening
of intelligence

Friday, November 04, 2011

what would your mother say, if she were dead and you were grieving?

so hi,
and hey,
someone has to ask the question,
about the grieving thing
which is
and if you don't do it "enough"
all sorts of bad stuff is supposed to happen
and besides
everyone will think you're a creep

and God knows, the purpose of life
is to avoid other people's bad opinions

let's ask the dead Mom's
what they would want

and guess what,
this has not been tested or approved by the FDA

hey Mom,
you're dead,
and my question is:

how much should I grieve

and here's the answer I here:

"As much as you want,
but from the dead side
of things,
you really see how amazing
the life side of things
and don't grieve so much
you forget
even for a second
how amazingly lucky
YOU are
to be in the life boat,
the ship of the living,

so stay present while you grieve
and immensely grateful to be alive

and if you want to feel grateful
to me
go ahead,
that's good for you

but why cry about gratitude
I loved loving you

and if you want to keep loving
go ahead,
that's good for you,

but why cry because we can't hug
or talk

just send me love
all the love you want

it's the best you can
do and
loving yourself
for doing the best you can do

is what I want for you

and the yucky sobering part of
the part where you have these
chilly realizations that you
could have loved me more

hey, forgive yourself,
i could have loved you more,
and it's just the reminder that's important:

love people while they are alive
call them
write them,
have their memorial six months BEFORE
they die
not two weeks after

just learn from what you weren't perfect
I wasn't perfect either

forgive me
in case some of your grieving is convoluted
anger that I wasn't better

i was perfect
you weren't perfect

that's perfect

send me all the love you
and then
quit grieving
and go out and love so living
people better
and better each day

and here's a hint:
you're a living people

so love yourself better each


Feeling bad is good for you, if there is another You to watch

whether we are going
a divorce

or a separation
of whether the
weather is not something
we'd like to weather

the real weather is always

and guess what:
we are wired to worry
and concentrate on what could
go wrong

and we are also
"meant" to be happy

which means,
guess what guys?

our life's job is to rewire ourselves
to be happy
and to love

and guess what part two?
the only way to really do
that is to be
able to live in the present

and we'd so much like to just have
the right pill
or the right programming
or the right set of behaviors
or the right rules
or the right club
or right movies
or ....
but not really: you
can't automatically be awake

and awake is the way
into and out of unhappy
or unloving

and guess what part three?
unhappy and unloving
are really really close

because when you are busy
loving the rose and the sky
and your feet
and the faces of all the people
going by
you are happy

and when you are happy,
you just can't help love yourself
and those around you

so what about feeling bad
is good for you?

it's like pain in the shoulder:
which says:
hey, you are doing something wrong
(I know, I know must body work is
dumb and thinks the pain in the shoulder
means "something's wrong with you",
but ain't so)
find a more integrated and easy and aware way to be

same with the pain in the heart:

it's saying:
your old programming
is dumb
it's not working
and that's good news
because if the big You
that is really you
can watch how the little you
cause this pain
then, both the big and the little You and you
together and do think feel act sense

then, you'll be better smarter more easy
and awake
about how to
be happy
and loving

all this is abstract
in a way
and then again:
it's the overview we need
when feeling bad

who's doing it?

what do we need to change?
well, let's see what we are doing
and try something else out

what else?

ah, that's the game
and just like improving the shoulder:
the slower
and gentler
and more experimental
and sensing the results in the moment
and non judgmental/ curious
we are
the happier
(and more loving )
are the results

there you go

read this again
and then once again tomorrow
and have a wonderful weekend

and sign up for the newsletter if ya'll

You might enjoy

Signing Up for the

"Amazing YOU to more AMAZING you"



Thursday, November 03, 2011

Poem from two days ago:

if you are lost
has already found you
release you are not a fish in a net
struggling against your new existence

you are the net, the ocean,
the fisher, the fisher's friends, spouse, children
the waves, the broad blinking bright endless sky
full of stars
we forget to see
in the daylight

and the shifting sands
and the birds flinging themselves up to
lightness from sand
and water

and yes, you of course, are also
that beautiful mystified shimmering
quivering found and fondled and adored

it is done,
God is you having caught you
and all your waiting
for happiness
and deliverance
is over

you are already here
you were always here...


Monday, October 31, 2011

the death thing

Someday we're going to die
me oh my

you and I,
no matter how much we
each other
or any one or two or two hundred people,
or take them for granted
or, Golly Forbid,
resent and dislike/ hate them

whatever we feel
they feel
we do
they do


it's all gone one
one breath we are
and the next

and what does that

who knows?

whatever you want it to

and you and I
and any one who wants
to love live
and enjoy the life
we are having
however long we
are having
this moment
this moment
followed by this moment

might ponder
that the complaining moments,
the "death isn't fair" moments,
take away
from the joy of now

it's like losing the life
we do have now
over the eventually loss
that we don't even know
what it will be like

and is that our

the big fat unknowness
of death?

could be

and what better way to
that to love the big fat unknown
of the next moment
we are "really now"


preparing for death
by surfing the now

now that's
a fun way
to be

(or at least seems
to me)

Friday, October 28, 2011

now, nature, love and you are perfect, enjoy


this can take us almost anywhere we want
to go
and guess what?

the easy part is that we are already

think of nature,
and how easy it is to love a redwood
or a rose

and what if
what if, a wonderful phrase,
and  way to live,
what if
we saw every person we saw
(and even Bigger: ever person we "thought about")
as beautiful and perfect and magnificent,
like a rose

who demands the rose
be prettier
or that the redwood tree be
or that either like love and appreciate
us more

we want nothing from them
and they give us
the everything

of how free full and loved
we feel
when we are just
loving out
loving out
loving out

and not really slogging around
in the "what am I getting back"

what's now
got to do with it

ah, the redwood
the rose,
and we forget tomorrow
and yeterday
and don't worry what to say
to them
and just enjoy

does love have to always be
in the present?

no, we can remember love
and imagine love in the future,
but the good feeling

that's always right

at least that's my take on

but the thrill of this adventure
is for you to be your own
well loved
"what if" experiment

what if you paid attention
to how and where it felt
to love today?

what would happen?

who knows?

and how wordless and wondrful
could that be
and you don't have to report
it to anyone

you're going to do
just perfectly








Wednesday, October 26, 2011

prayer to enlightened and ecological abundance

life has many ways
to delight us
and allow
encourage us
to be
"Who we really are"

that magnificent Self
inside all the conditioning

One way out of the little
is love

and that's a big story
and path of being present
to the other person
or yourself
without the
"Story"/ thought/ judgment
that always brings unhappiness

A second way out
is prayer:
some sort of chat,
to the Divine, Spirit,
God, whatever

down below is a little prayer of
affirmation for the goodness of life,
a modification of something from the Abundance
Book by John Reynolds Price

and then,
but now now,
nor ever really on the computer,
except to point toward it
and hint you
go down to the river,
or out to the garden,
or under the stars
and find "it" yourself,
the third and great "escape"
back into "who we really are"
is to be
in silence

the empty taking to, listening to,
basking in the vast Void/ Immensity
of "it all," The Universe,
God, call it what you will,
but it has no name,
it's the word less ......
"it all"

here's the little lover prayer to the possibility
of how wonderful we are and how wonderful life is:
My inner supply
instantly and constantly
takes on experience, form
& mysterious delight

according to my deep and real needs
and desires

as the Principle of Supply in action,
life is sending my way constantly
and easily
fulfillment, delight, bliss &
opportunities of love, awaken &

This service is of ease, delight and learning
for me
and those around me
in each and every
delightful and awakened

Happy prayer,
and some say always pray
and always start your prayer with thanks
(Paul, Ephysians 4)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The children are busy, and we are at the computer

it's so important
we think, feel, imagine, believe

(and "Is it true?")

so important
to get
"just one more"
email read,

one more cool video
watched or
interest tracked down

and then
two hours are gone,
no time with the child
lots with the computer


what to do

the usual:
slow down at the computer

follow the wonderful breathing

sense your skeleton hold up your head

relax and move your eyes

touch the key pad softly
a little or a lot slower than

think of touching the computer
with eyes and hand
the way you'd touch your child

and think

maybe it is time to go
touch the real child

and if you don't have one
one the wonderful little ones

what is it time
to give my life to
right now

this moment by
miraculous moment

the good old
I'm alive
right now



Saturday, October 22, 2011

Saturday night

Saturday night
is a great night
Do the Work

take a walk

write in your journal

do all the usual stuff
but at
slightly different
placement of attention

as usual

what would that mean?

try it
"find out"

a change
is always
a portal
the real

the one who relishes
and lives in
and thrives

the unknown

the new

the now

happy Saturday evening


Friday, October 21, 2011

falling into the glory of being, BEing, BEING alive

Some place are getting cold
and maybe they had beautiful days
somewhere between June and October

in Austin we had about
and now it's
so maybe that's "fair"

or maybe it's the way the globally
warming Earth is playing
its game this year

for whatever reason
I commend you
to take some time


not rushing to the car

not "getting a lot done"
in your garden

not even doing your "power walk"
or walk and talk walk

and what's left:
just go out
and see where your feet
lead you

is that fair

on a Friday?

when there is
"too much to do"?



someday you will take
your last breath
on this planet Earth

what happens next is belief
superstition, possibility,
who knows

but the last breath comes
and as it approaches

you get to be present
to the immense glory
of being alive
and having been alive

does that to people

gives the preview to the
looking back
and feeling the immense
glory and wonder of
it all

so fall out of your routine
and into the fresh air

and feel experience see hear
notice enjoy
whatever happens


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

when is enough enough?

one of life's sweet
is a nagging feeling
of "eggads"
I've done enough

of gardening
or computering
or worrying
or talking
or, God forbid, working

and then
what's it time to do:

something else

Winston Churchill used to
a change is as good as  rest

so I'm going outside

and even as I write this
have any idea
and inliing
and inclinaion
and motivation
to be present
to the last of the computering

since that change
that inner change
to the nowing
of breath
and gravity
and light
and skeleton
and fingers moving
and cars outside
and the shape of my legs

boring to you
except you have legs skeleton
breath and whatnot
that you could fall
couldn't you?

if that's your
and curiosity:

why not?

and now outside for me

what for you?????