Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Forgiveness 101: Other people are shits

This was going to be some fancy summary, but I haven't eaten all day, trying out Ramadan, which in Austin, in July means not eating from 6:36 in the morning until 8:36 at night.
A tidy 14 hours.

And a good time to remember how annoying others are:

They don't appreciate us.
They don't consider us in their decisions, or there use of word.
They don't give us enough time, or attention.
They don't return our calls.
They aren't present when we are with them.
They say rough and tough and even mean stuff.
They yell at us.
Or leave us.
Or leave us and come back and leave us and come back.
And leave us.

They are annoying.

And, of course, we are perfect.

So the forgiveness thing is just a glorified case of :
do you want to be right,
or do you want to be happy

First you start with realizing that you are a person,
and these annoying people are people.

And we're all selfish, forgetful, not appreciative enough, or considerate enough, or whatever whatever sometimes.

So, when other people pull this on us,
we can make a request: next time could you do this
a wee bit
( or a lot) different.

But for now:
it's done, and we can resent and be tweeked by them by the kind of human
being we are sometimes,
or we can try out the last two questions of the Byron Katie work:

who are we, when we plug the "they should have been different" thought into are head

and who are we when we don't have that thought in our head.

Just try to two out.

See where we want to live.

Go back and forth.

No "letting go" required.

Just try out the attached and believing our story version,
and the not believing our story,
or not having a thought in our mind version.

Then chose.

So, it's not condoning, nor letting the others off the hook since we are so kind and wise and forgiving.

It's just enjoying life more without the story/ thought/ belief self injected into our brain, and from there, usually, our heart.

It feels beter to "let it go," and it's not even "letting it go," it's just living without the story, thought, belief in our mind.

What's left?

It's a big world out there, once we are free.

Maybe we'll find something great to do.

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