Wednesday, March 13, 2013

the masculine and the feminine

The masculine is testosterone:
The house in burning down, kick down the door, run up the stairs, smash anything in the way, save the baby, save the damsel in distress, bloody up arm and knee on elbow, doesn't matter, get the job done, mission accoplished
Save the day.
Then collapse

(Male orgasm a bit like that)

The feminine is oxytocyn
Someone is in some emotional pain, find some friends, the more the better, all talk about five or six things, and underneath it the one thing may or may not be talked about: in connection there is safety, and comfort and a sense that this is what life is for.
The meandering is the journey is the joy, if in connection.

Female orgasm is like that. The real orgasm, not the climax that is sold in the magazine, and that climax is just fine and dandy, but the taking forever and that's just fine, taking forever in pleasure and rising and falling.
And connection.

The we building as the game goes up and down and all around.

And this is how I see my coaching evolving:

People want to get stuff done.
Old coaching is lists and action steps and accountable and that's all fine.

But the feminine wants quality and connection, and will gladly sacrifice getting things done for the interest and the mess and the connection and the discovery along the way.

How to do both?
Ask for the raise and be connected to yourself and your boss as you do it.

Ask for for love making time, and in connection as you ask, not complaining, not demanding, but listening enough to figure out a way to make the "we" of this new set of behaviors work.

Go about talking to new people about your vision, and not just selling the vision and showing the big picture, but connecting to them, as they are now, and to how the "we" of that connection is happening and not happening as you present the vision.

There is more to this,
and that's a good start for today.

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