Friday, June 29, 2012

Byron Katie, 101

You've got stuff bothering you.
Little stuff: someone didn't smile when you said hello.
Big stuff: your mate went out and had an affair.

Everyday stuff: your friend, lover, buddy should appreciate/ respect you more.

You feel bad.
Good. You always will until you don't, and
here's a way to don't...

The work of Byron Katie......

1. Judge your neighbor (complain)

2. Write it down

3. Ask four questions

4. Turn it around

Why judge? Cause all our complaining is judging.
Be honest.
Don't be too good.
If you feel bad there's always a judgment.

Write it down.
Slows it down.
You can see the root of your suffering in a couple of words:
Mom should have been nicer to me when I was growing up.

Small batch of words, and it can lead to a lifetime of suffering.

Or: to liberation.

Ask the four questions.
Here comes liberation.

1. Is it true?

Mom should have.....
Is that true?
I want that, wish that, can have people agree, but is it true like gravity, or the color of the sky, on being on an inbreath or outbreath?
You decide.

2. Can I absolutely know it's true?

That Mom or Dad or friend or lover should have....

Can I know, in the big scheme of the universe that this bit of reality "should" have been different?
Can I know that this wasn't there for me to learn.....

Those two questions help to realize: is this thought true or is it opinion/ belief/ idea.

The next two questions are practical Buddhism: try out attachment, try out non attachment

3. How do I react when I believe the thought?

That Mom should have
That Dad should have...
That ex lover should have....

Write the list down. Feel how the suffering comes when we grab onto the thought.

4. Who or what would I be without the thought?
Either empty mind. Or, not believing the thought.

Mom, Dad, ex lover are still what they are, but we don't believe the should have been different.
Not to be good. Not to forgive. Not to "judge not that ye not be judged"
But to discover, who and what are we when we let reality be reality?

Experience the difference.

I offer this addition: move from place to place or chair to chair as you hang out in question #3 and question #4.
Experience the difference.
Don't mentally choose, but let life tell you where you really want to be.

Judge your neighbor
write it down
ask four questions
turn it around

All's left is the turn around, the famous "seeing others as the mirror."
And you turn the darn sentence around:

Dad shouldn't have been so critical of me.
I shouldn't have been so critical of Dad.

So and so should appreciate me more.
I should appreciate so and so more.

See our own inability to practice what we preach.
Get humor and humility.

And the "back to ourselves" turn around.

Dad shouldn't have been so critical of me.
I shouldn't be so critical of me.

So and so should appreciate me more.
I should appreciate me more.

Cut out the middle man.
Stop waiting for the love appreciate approval we want and give it on back to ourselves.

There you go.

Judge your neighbor.
Write it down.
Ask four questions
Turn it around

The WORK of Byron Katie.
Can't just snap your fingers.
Got to work a bit,
half an hour, and hour maybe for a couple years of therapy
or Buddhist meditation.

A good trade, bargain, pathway, game, liberation path.

Try it.
Or not.


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