Saturday, December 14, 2013

Relationship #4: Loving the Leaver

Loving what is seems like the hardest thing
in the world

and then,
it's just....

So... someone leaves you

It was great love
It was great and troubled love
It was troubled and great love
It had great promise
You fell more deeply in love than they did
They found someone else
You were a jerk and drove them crazy
They weren't willing to work it through
You weren't willing to work it through
One or both of you didn't know what to do when it got messy
You had a power struggle that was too much for the other person

There are many scenarios,
and all hurt,
usually when the other person leaves

It can even be petty stuff:
You wanted to end it and didn't have the courage
to pull the plug
and they did before you could

Oh, well.

They are gone
Empty bed
Empty dream

Lots of possibilities in reaction, too:

Poor me
Substance use to numb out
Getting busy

And here's a way that's pretty amazing:


Think about, feel about what loving them exactly
as they are
would be.

They want to be somewhere else.

Loving them means wanting them to have what they want.

Damn, the logic just rolls along,
but it's the heart really that can't do this:

Loving them means loving them being gone
because that's what they want

You can think it's a wrong decision
You can think they should care more about your pain
You can think until you're blue in the face
and they are still gone

They, for good or bad, for smart of idiotic, for whatever reasons
of the heart and head
and their own life path,
have decided what they want is Not You

So, that what love is:
Loving their having what they want,
the big fat empty Not You

and hey,
guess what

just like when someone dies
... they can't hug you anymore
and you can still keep loving them

you can feel the love
write it to them
whatever you want

and wanting them to have what they want,
loving what is

sounds hard

I just did it
It's heaven

It really is

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