Thursday, June 19, 2014

Forgiveness, 101

I'm having a delightful interaction with an occasionally cranky person
whom I adore

who is in the throes of
"Can I forgive?"

in that old awful way,
as if forgiveness is wearing a hair shirt,
or swallowing toxic waste
or at the very least
sitting through a bad movie for hours and hours

and this sweet person was once a heavy duty Christian
and these poor folks
for reasons that are both sad and delightful
have often the hardest time forgiving

( and I did hear this in a church, by a straight ahead
boring believer:
"Not forgiving is like swallowing rat poison
hoping the other person will die."

Which is s beginning of the higher level of

but not the end)

And you,
gentle reader,
A. going to have to forgive me
for jumping around and packing
so many angles and concepts into a short
poem/ ramble / essay

B. Wake up
and really feel and think your way through
since it's is perhaps the number one source
of human suffering,
this holding on to our woundedness

,,,,,,, Okay

let's just make this the starter ramble and posit three levels

the forgiveness of the righteous,
the believers
the goody goodies

this is on the
holding one's nose
and saying
"Well, you are stinky,
but I will hold my nose,
and so-called forgive you for being
so stinky
because I am so much better than you
and it's so good for my image of
being so much better than you
to say the words,
'I forgive you,'
all the while letting you know
that I am vastly superior to you,
you bad, bad stinky inferior sinner whom I so graciously,

so I can look good to myself, and those around me, and get
points in pretend heaven."

The sliding it off, half ass "acceptance."

Me here Chris Elms could go on some fun
rants about all this
"It's all good,"

which is better than the stinky cheese clothes pin nose

but is

a disconnected feeling,

I'm indifferent,

I'm separate

I'm not going to let it get to me.

This has some of the very very true
selfish enlightenment of the above rat poison model

which knows,

sometimes with blinding clarity,

when you fight what is already over,
once you think it through,
you know you're always going to lose

so chill

let it go,  man,
it's all good

(bleeek---- my comment)

and three:

third level forgiveness,

not just giving the other person a break,
though that's a superb start,
but giving them a delighted break
a congratulatory break




this is crazy, this level,
and strange,
because we are so used to being slaves
that freedom feels creepy weird

but this is level three:

thanks and thankfulness
and gratitude for whatever "wrong"
was bestowed on you
by another segment of God

ah, God,
well, hell,

let's play with God as a burst apart being
and we are all pieces of Her, trying to get
back together,
and whatever "sin"
someone gifted you with,
was a piece of God, trying,
in however an awful, ignorant, or half assed way,
to reconnect with God
as you

it's like this:
in this forgiveness,
you would have paid the bad, bad person
to do whatever they did


you figure it out,
you wouldn't believe me if I told you

and you shouldn't believe me

it's your experience that is
A. your life
B. your nourishment for enlightenment

stay in this experience
and feel your heart's way through this
new world:
forgiveness as delight and you would have paid the
other person to
their bad bad "sin"

this is some heavy lifting for the heart

and without it,
life is misery


you do want to be enlightened, don't you?

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