Monday, May 18, 2015

Awakened touch: Toward the Magical Bedroom

The Magical Bedroom

( A chapter from the forthcoming book: The Power of Listening, creating the Magical Bedroom, the Magical Boardroom and the Forever Young Body... call for pdf of first four chapters)

The magical bedroom starts in the hands.
No, not really.
The magical bedroom starts in attention. Paying attention to yourself. Paying attention to your partner.
Touch that is in awareness.

The magical bedroom also starts in honest talk. This is what you will be developing in the talk chapters.
Listen to what the other person’s heart has to say.
Truth is the best foreplay.

And touch is important, too.
And here is what is most important: Awakened Love.
Without awakened love you are a robot. A well functioning robot, or a poorly functioning one, but a robot non the less.
Not to be too derogatory but life is stark in a certain way: we can drift and be mindless. We can chose and be mindful.

Awakened love is central to a well lived life. Hopefully with a person with whom to share your bed and life.
If not that, a good friend, a grandchild, a nephew, a partner in the world of waking up.

And for the magical bedroom, we are looking for a partner with whom to wake up in talk, and in touch.
Truth is the most important foreplay, and awakened touch comes in a close second.

And this book will be all foreplay.
Kissing and touching the hands, the arms, the neck, the face. Touching the foot.
That’s it.

Two months of that.
You will be changed. If you want further, come enroll in one of my six month courses, either private or small group. Things get steamy on the third month, but only after a solid presence in touch orientation.
If you are awake in your touch, the world is a completely new and fresh place.

And this can be practiced on a park bench.
How nice.

So let’s start.
Today, the arm.

Take one, and only one of your partner’s arms. You will be exploring the whole arm and hand and those miraculous fingers.
For three minutes explore their arm as if you were a Martian and not really sure what arms and hand are.
And you are a baby, you aren’t even sure what your own arms and hands are
Three minutes.
Touch and explore their arm and hand: with your hand.
With your hands.
How is it different with one hand and two.
Explore with your finger tips. With all the fingers. With one of two at a time. With different combinations of fingers.
Explore with the back of your hand.
The palm.
Both sides.
Explore with your lower arm and elbow and upper arm.

Go slowly.
Find the thrill in the sensation, and the learning.
Find the pleasure in being very clear and present to the point of contact.
Mindfulness of the moving and sweet point of contact: that will come to be exquisitely useful later.
And it’s exquisitely delightful now.


Do this for three minutes and then take turns sharing how that was for each other.

Now, for the next three minutes.
Take turns articulating three short sentences at a time each. Three here and now observations of either what you are feeling or what you are doing, or if you are the toucher/ explorer, both.

For example>
A: I feel your thumb rubbing the inside of my wrist. I feel my breathing coming in and out. I feel my bottom on the chair.
B: I feel my thumb rubbing your wrist. I feel the softness of your skin. I notice your chest going up and down as you breathe.
A: I feel you now stroking the back of my arm with the back of your arm. I can feel the bones under my skin as you do that. I can hear the bird singing outside.
B: I feel your arm with my arm. I feel my arm moving at the shoulder. I notice I am looking away from you.

And so on.
Three minutes.

Then share how that was.

Switch to do each kind of touching the other way.

And share after each kind of touching.

And you can do this more than once a day.

And do if for two or three days and then will kick in the next layer of touching.


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