Principle Six: More Love
Love More.
Sex More.
Awaken More.
Expand into your real and more amazing Self.
You could easily expand and fill out your life now with almost any of the prior principles.
This one is to remind us that life is limitless.
And that any day we don’t improve in a few ways, is not the life as big and joyful and wonderful as we want.
Carol and I were recently at a retreat led by Adyashanti, an American born Zen teacher in his early fifties. The spot was beautiful, Asilomar, on the Monterry coast of California. The month was December and the theme was the Jesus story as guiding myth to discover what heart centered enlightenment might look like.
One of the breakthrough moments was the mentioning of how Anthony DeMello, whom Adyashanti calls an enlightened Jesuit priest, would start all his seminars and weekend retreats by letting the audience know: “I’m an ass and you’re an ass. If we can start from there, we can get somewhere.”
That’s a great place to go for humor, clarity and truth any time you and your loved one start to spat.
Another high point of the retreat was when during the dialogue period one woman stood up and said she’d deeply enjoyed a recent course he’d given online about Love.
In particular, she thanked him for the exercise of saying, silently to ourselves, before we talk to anyone, “I love you.”
This sounded pretty great to me.
Combined with a recent blog by the Chinese master known as Dr. B (from “the energy”, see http://energyforsuccess.org ) on inclusion, this gives you, me and anyone a hugely more open and wonderful chance of connecting with and relating to people.
The inclusion blog states that you don’t have to believe old tired programming that says others don’t want to connect with and/or talk to you.
Assume the goal and vibration of inclusion and move forward. See what happens.
Let’s combine the two:
More Love Game for Talking to People #1: Inclusion
When you are around people, notice any tendencies to think they are different or somehow don’t want to talk with you.
Assume instead that you might enjoy each other.
Encourage in yourself the vibration of “inclusion.”
Feel something like “the energy” in your heart.
Smile.
Take a breath down to your belly.
Go talk to them.
See what happens.
This is written during the Christmas season.
This worked with all sorts of people the programming (which dr B calls “the matrix”) said wouldn’t be open to conversation.
Many wonderful conversations and connections happened.
And now let’s add the suggestion of Adyashanti:
Love More and Others, Game #2:
When around others
As you either “just” see them around you
Or, are about to talking to them,
Say to yourself, “I love you”
And then see what happens
What will happen for you?
Find out.
This is putting your heart first. Go ahead and love everyone. The creeps, the saints, the normal, and the exceptional, the dull and the exciting.
“I love you.”
Say it to yourself.
Go up to them. Add in the inclusion vibration.
How will that work?
Find out.
Love More and Your Partner, Game #3 : Dread >>Willing>>Looking Forward to
This is “hard”
So what?
Think of something you are “dreading” that your partner do again.
Do the “work of Byron Katie” on how they “shouldn’t” do that
Shift to saying: I am willing for them to do that.
Do the work of Byron Katie again. Really feel the difference: when you believe that they shouldn’t. And who you are without believing that story.
Now shift to saying: I am looking forward to ……., whatever it was that you dreaded
This is weird
This is magnificently liberating.
Try it and see what happens.
These three games , inclusion, and “I love you,” and “I am looking forward to….”(whatever used to scare you/ that you dread), can send your life into an ease and delight
There are surely more.
That will be another book. Or two.
And now Lust.
This is going to be a bit raunchy.
Skip if you want your spiritual development and joy to be less than blissful.
Let’s have some fun.
Lust and Opening to More Life Game #1:
Stroking the Clitoris for 15 minutes
This is for a couple that involves a woman.
The receiver is a woman.
Who takes off her panties. And leaves on the rest of her clothes.
The stroker is a man or a woman, who straddles this receiver in a certain way.
See the illustration.
The stroker looks toward the clitoris.
The receiver has her legs butterflied out.
The stroker gently rubs the thighs of the receiver for two minutes.
The stroker puts coconut oil on their right thumb and one of their left fingers.
The thumb goes in the outer edge of the lower part of the vagina.
The left hand finger, very slowly and very gently strokes the clitoris for 13 minutes.
Gentle.
Slow.
Mindful of the point of contact.
Mindful of the pleasure you feel through the stroking finger.
The receiver stays mindful of the spot being stroked.
Feeling the pleasure.
Moment by moment.
No goal for either person.
Just the pleasure and sensation of now.
Then, after 13 minutes, two minutes of slowing down.
Then, clothes on and hugging.
Or clothes on and cuddle and take a nap.
Or clothes on and take a walk.
Clothes on and anything besides “normal sex.”
Do this every day.
This is complicated, and easy.
Just pay attention, in the moment, without a goal of climax. Pay attention to the spot on the human body with the most pleasure receptors.
The stroker, stroking gently the clitoris, will feel warmth and electricity and more.
The strokee, feeling this, will feel…… A lot.
Let’s say a few non-proven by studies possibilities:
Easier menopause.
Radical increase in oxytocin and well being.
Re-opening to sexuality
Re-orienting of how to go about sexuality
Realization that sex can be a meditation
Realization that life is a pleasurable meditation
As always, don’t believe me.
Try it out.
And see.
How often?
Every day.
What?
Every day.
Whether you have “normal” sex or not.
Have this sex, the sex that concentrate of female orgasm as pleasure in the real moment, and not as climax.
Every day.
Practice stroking softly.
Practice being present in intimate touch.
Practice NOT having a climax goal.
Practice the small and real point of real connection in the real moment.
Learn, feel, realize the connection at a deep and non-verbal level that comes from this.
Enjoy.
Another lust game:
More Lust Game #2
Listening to Your Heart
Have a goals journal
Get silent and still
Write gratitudes first in the gratitude journal
From the present and gratitude, do a few “source energy” exercises
From the energy and gratitude and being present, ask you heart
“Heart, what are your great wishes”
Listen.
Write them down. On the left side of the page. Or on the left page with the right page left open.
Or the right side, or right page, write one small action step that could take you closer to achieving this goal.
This could be seen as using “the energy” in one of the ways its meant to be used. ( Another is simple reverence for the glory of Life. Another is bliss and gratitude at the miracle of being alive.)
This is giving the “energy” somewhere to go.
Giving your vitality somewhere to point.
Giving your optimism a place to play and work and move toward.
Reminding you that life is a game and a treat and all challenges are a change to change and grow and expand and evolve.
Good.
And with the evolve vibration, let’s slip up and over to “enlightenment” games.
More enlightenment is more or less a nonsense idea.
And so what…. it points the way to a feeling of the generosity of life being echoed by the generosity of your participation.
More Enlightenment Game #1:
Love What “It” Doesn’t Like
As you go about your day, pay attention to your AVERSIONS
Use the work of Byron Katie,
or becoming present
or ongoing joy of life to
make the shift:
Love that thing, person, news, whatever the “it,” the conditioned and programmed and “matrix” part of you dislikes
This is very much like the looking forward to what you dread action.
Except that it gives you something moment by moment to use as a “wake up.”
The part of us that dislikes, unless it is a very pure dislike, for example, hatred of a child being mistreated, is usually very narrow and selfish and programmed and stupid.
To wake up to the painful feeling of dislike is the start.
To “turn it around” in this full and radical way causes us to wake up.
Wake up to what?
Wake up to this definition of enlightenment
More enlightenment game # one million:
Love What Is.
That’s all.
You’ve got an upset stomach: love it.
You’ve got cancer: love it.
You don’t know how to cure it: love that.
You are willing to look in spite of the IDK (I don’t know): love that.
You get contradictory and even bad advice: love that.
Some people avoid you: love that.
Some people over advise you: love that.
And so on.
I don’t know what to write next.
Love that.
You don’t know how to do this:
Love that.
The nice thing about What Is, is
One: It’s always changing
Two: It’s always here, right now
Three: You always have the choice:
Love it
Fight it
Ignore it
Pretend to be “okay” with it
And so on.
This is your life.
Always now.
Always changing.
Always chuck full of your own variation of the What Is of life.
Your life.
Your life as a novel, movie, play, TV show.
Love it.
And if you don’t.
Try the two spot or two chair method:
One spot or chair: Don’t love/ resist/ complain about your life
The other spot or chair: Love your life
More enlightenment #3:
If things aren’t the way you want them, write a goal.
Problem solve.
Get in the energy.
Go for some creative and new way to solve/ change / shift the problem.
See it all as learning.
Learning is noticing differences:
What can you do , feel, think, breathe, be aware of differently.
So that new learning can be happening.
In your brain, heart and soul
and Body
Right now.
This is a bit far out.
Good.
So is Love, Lust and Enlightenment.
If you want the normal self help crap, go find it.
This is all of you, having great sex and great relationship and great success and great fun.
If you want it, be amazing.
That’s who you are meant to be.
How?
Play this or ANY game in the book.
Good.
