the importance of fatigue

at times , the theory goes,
you build up muscles
by pushing to the point of fatigue

that this is done stupidly,
tightening neck and jaw and eyes
at the same time,
is another issue

now , today, here
this idea:

push "too far"
now and again
and build up....
something

last night
after a very full and "turned on"
turn on group,
where many of us
were much closer to our real and honest
selves

I went to the ten o'clock showing of
Lincoln,
the movie

it was amazing
and I got out at 12:30
and was reved
and got up at 6:15
and that left me exhausted

and
and
and

here's the deal:
the part of us that loves to be awake
doesn't give a fig
about feeling really really good tip top
rested

it can be aware of being
tired
and slow
and gorggy
and that's just fine


enuff said...
tiredness
is a good excuse for
both types of laziness:

the fear of doing beyond the comfortable laziness
and
the sinking back into the indolent bliss
of
JUST
BEING

not totally,
but somewhat
we can dial which percentage of the laziness game
we
want to play which way


at any time

and now is the time
to wish you a fatgued
or energized
or even happy/ unhappy day

just be there with it

experience your experience

that is the source of
all
miracles


love Chris

Crazy Love

Life comes
and we get what we want
or
don't get what we want

this can be more fun
than we could ever imagine

because just "who"
inside us
wants the thing we can't get
just then
and
who inside us
can be tickled with joy
at what we have

just now

and tickled with curiosity
about how
to move toward
the thing
we want
and
don't have yet

and what if
"we don't know what to do?"

then we wait,
content as plums of the tree in the middle
of summer,
ripen
until we fall off

as a plum we might not
imagine
the tree
that will sprout

oh, well

enjoy being the plum


and every moment
is
that
plum

Wake UP/ Turn ON. Now, Orgasm, Love

Wake Up/ Turn On.  Now, Orgasm, Love

This is a topic worthy
of
you
and
I
and the whole
world

the birds do it
bees do it
even educated fleas do it,
let's do it,
let's fall in love

bees, birds, flees procreate
maybe they fall in love
maybe not
but the fall
under the thrall
of the urge
to unite
to make
more

and that's life:

orgasm is the clue:
your on the way
to making more

more what?
joy
art
fun
health
service

yes, service, there are other people in
the world
frat party orgasm
is a short term dopy
way to live

end of sermon

back to the bees,
the fleas

What is life about?

Someone once asked Back why he had 20 children
and wrote over a thousand pieces of music:

for the Glory of God
and my own amusement

there is a Big Picture,
call it God
call it  Enlightenment
call it Life

it is bigger, more wonderful, more mysterious
than we will ever know

and we are in service to it
we can surrender to
join in,
merge with it

and their is
this particular NOW
this itty bitty ever so feels like this tastes like this
looks like this sounds like this now

it's good
it's our piece
of life

is what to wake up to
this moment

and in that wake up,
turn on to some other bird, bee or flea
or
person
or tree
or flower

fall in love
people

fall off the cliff of knowing
into
the unknown

it's all there
here
waiting
always here
now

and that ramble,
my friends
is female orgasm:
all over the place
happy
and full of juice
and inspiration

good

Waking Up in Bikram

these gals aren't bikraming, but it does look like fun, doesn't it?

this is a game I'm playing
with my life

you don't have to
and you might like it

it's the wake up game
which is to know feel glow sense in the
moment,
you are in that moment,
right then

in Bikram the conditions are kind of interesting:

one:
how about being awake in the locker room
going in,
instead of chatter of how is it going to be,
or the chatter of the past,
or the getting ready chatter

you know, clothes off has sensations,
what we see in the locker room


Okay, then the hot room and the hard poses:

cool

here's the most powerful  tools I play
with to stay awake:

1. sensing arms and legs and fingers and toes and spine
as fully as possible, full time

so when part of "me" is in pain,
there is always a finger or arm or part of my back
that is just fine

and yoga is best for this five line recognition
of what it is to be human:
two legs, two arms and spine

2. so let's say that separately:
always sensing enough of myself
so that plenty of non pain area is in my attention

3. balance is about the foot on the ground
and the "Tantien" or "hara" the center of the
body
a bit below the navel and back in the center

the Bikram thing of fixed gaze is a cheat:
real functioning is to be powerful in the middle
and have neck and eyes free

try it: sense from standing leg to the "hara"
and then have all the other limbs and your spine
radiating out from there

it's fun

4. sense the tongue
soften the tongue and throat

inner chatter is always accompanied by subvocal
mouth and tongue action

keeping these guys quiet can help quiet the mind
and all it's "this is hard," "I'm not doing this right,"
"Look at me, I'm doing this right" "Would she/he shut up" stuff in
our minds

5. the "when is this going to be over"
words
and/ or orientation,
of definition
is not very now-ish

6. this now
reading these silly and/ or useful words
is the one

la la

it's so cool with that now

7. no waiting
this is it

8. is that true?

find out any moment you wish,

good
yeah!

Is there a meaning to life?

there are some trick questions:
and this is one:

what is the meaning of life?

who answers:
our happy heart or the disgruntled one?
the curious person, or the distracted one?

the real you, or the good you?

and yet,
on a good day
a happy day
a being present day:
life has a fine and wonderful meaning

to be lived

be you

with joy
with discovery
with the peaceful silence of just being
with the thrill of puttering in the garden
or building the deck
or knitting the sock
or taking the walk
or having that talk,
where you just thrill
to hear what each other has to say,

and it could even be talk
about
the
meaning of life

and you could even disagree
and
be happily
playfully
teasefully
enjoying your differences

because you are alive
and hear
and now
and here
and now
in the game

and
now:
what game are you in
and
how de light ful is it for you?

how delightful are you,
for
you

right
now?


good

Random cool quotes from Free Will Astrology

it doesn't matter
to me
what "Sign"
these quotes coincide with

if it does for you,
go to
Free Will Astrology


Andy Warhol:
"Don't think about art,
just get it done.
Let everyone else decide whether it's good or
bad,
whether they love it or hate it.
While they are deciding,
making even more art."



Seneca:
"The fates guide the one who will;
the one who won't, they drag along."


Some name displaced Jungian:
"In a man's psyche the unconscious is
experienced as chaotic,
filled with violent and
irrational processes of
generation and destruction.

But to a women's psyche, the unconscious
is a fascinating matrix of
sacred images and rituals
which in their wildly contradictory meanings
express the sacred
unity of all  life."

Mindful, thanks for life, Mary Oliver poem

Mindful
by Mary Oliver
Every day
I see or hear
something
that more or less
kills me
with delight,
that leaves me
like a needle
in the haystack
of light.
It was what I was born for--
to look, to listen,
to lose myself
inside this soft world--
to instruct myself
over and over
in joy,
and acclamation.
Nor am I talking
about the exceptional,
the fearful, the dreadful,
the very extravagant--
but of the ordinary,
the common, the very drab,
the daily presentations.
Oh, good scholar,
I say to myself,
how can you help
but grow wise
with such teachings
as these--
the untrimmable light
of the world,
the ocean's shine,
the prayers that are made
out of grass?

What's good about Bikram

 not in the Bikram repertoire, but they have things that can help toward this

AND, I learned to do this after an hour group lesson in my Anat Baniel training. The lesson was on the wrists. 

What's good about Bikram:

you sweat a lot

the same patter every time: you hear things you didn't the first nine and
you learn the huge difference between different people speaking the same patter

no spiritual pretension
the great divide between Yoga Journal, well dressed and spiritual icing and Yoga International, filled with Pantanjali and spiritually correct and boring, is bypassed:
this is kick ass for health, do it

pseudo suffering that just sensation
add words/ complaints and it's hell
(see OM hub post, cure-ish for inner chatter)

the usual yoga goody:
sensing the five lines of legs arms and spines in various positons to wake up to what every child drawing a human knows:
spine
two legs
two arms

the stomach, cobra, locust series is suburb

lots of rests, not just at the end

you sweet a lot

lots of balance play
which, they do "wrong" i.e. they suggest,
as most yoga, a fixed gaze

sorry: good movement = pelvis commands balance, negotiates it, however you want to say,
and neck and eyes are free and mobile to look in all directions

think from survival or martial arts
see if you really want a thrilling ride, this interview with Moshe Feldenkrais on how he got "into" marital arts
http://semiophysics.com/SemioPhysics_interview_with_Moshe.html

let's end back being nice:
Bikram puts you thru a semi boot camp thing and if you stick with it, and learn to sense your tongue, soften the story, sense the whole body, etc, it becomes a pleasant way to spend an hour and a half, time that you no long want to end, it could be just exactly as long as it want
good

The Glory of What Is, Part 22: Quieting the Inner Chatter

My daughter and niece, many, many years ago, when their inner chatter was probably all magical play. And we, too, can make short stories poems and songs in our heads, if we've got to play in that playground

The inner chatter usually doesn't
matter
but it thinks it does

Oh, well

Here's some games to play with attention
to steal
your life
back from this sneaky little bandit:

1. Sense your tongue

2. Sense your feet

3. Be aware of light / reflected light  coming in your eyes

4. Mess with it


So, here's some of the skinny:
inner chatter,
is inner voice, yammer, talking
and that takes a tongue
and so subtle movements of the tongue accompany inner chatter

sense and relax the tongue and see what happens


Your feet
are the farthest from your head

Gravity is always a deal
a real deal
an equal opportunity, pulls on the rich poor healthy sick everyone
always
(except in space,
and of course,
the rich want to escape to space,
so ... go rich one,
go

I'll be rich and buy farms)


Light is a kind of food
You discover the rest

Mess with it means: if the inner chatter is saying:
"There is too much to do"
play with it with a Russian accent
or a drunken one
or a Nazi tone

it's your inner voices,
change them around

good

The laws of OMing/ Awakened Sex

 They are 180 degrees different from the laws of production



1. State of yearning. Reaching. Anticipation. This is your flour, butter, and sugar to Orgasm. That is the power behind your Orgasm.



2. Break rules. You want to discover what your personal rules are and break them. In Orgasm, it's hot because you say, "ugh. I would never do that." And then you are doing that. All of these deeper desires can be beautiful and turned on.



3. Ambivalence. The hottest is sex is when you are like, "uh. No. I don't have time. Oh it would be so good. Uh no. I can't..." When you have that kind of friction, your desire breaks through and when your desire breaks through, the best orgasm happens.



4. Power. You want to play with power because that's where most of the charge is in the world. You want to increase the power of Orgasm because it breaks through the sound barrier of all the merry-go-round thoughts in your mind.


What is OMing?

A partner practice, Orgasmic Meditation, 15 minutes, non reciprocal, focused on the present and the eruptive discoveries of the Female Orgasm that develops when her clitoris is stroked for this timed amount. 

See OneTaste.us

to have a great/ resurrected relationship

to have a great/
resurrected relationship

wake up

which means you don't "have"
anything
but the game
of finding each other
as
each of you changes
in the moment

and sinks and soars
deeper
and deeper
into the person
that they really are

the mystery
find able only in the present
usually without words,
but the words guessing toward
what they are feeling and becoming
are part of the game

how close can you say/ guess
to today's turn on, confusion
happiness
wonder

let's play listening and
learning
and what can I say
I'm afraid to hear

how deeper from heart
belly and
genitals
and
toes
and fingers
can I hear
ALL of what you are saying

and more
all of what you are being
as each moment's being waves,
like the ocean,
into the next

surfing the moments together
with touch talk joke laugh listen silence
question joke pun empty waiting
all
and
more

tools and toys for the
game

let's play

remember to remember

to remember
to remember

remembering ourselves

pulling all the members back
into this basket:

a something
with arms and legs and spine
and
eyes
and
ears

and a heart, genitals love
awareness

breath

remembering

those people trees building cars

even the damn/ wonderful smart/ not so smart phones

we're here
now

it's alive
the monster
is not a monster

it's a gift

the gratitude

not remembered
but the byproduct

of waking up

in remembrance

to life,
life
life
life


good

Bipolar without drugs

The brain slayeth,
heal the brain, heal everything

So,
this is from Dan Siegal's book,
Mindsight

It's one of the ones to the right.


Six parts:


1.Good rest/ sleep
This can, and should, include, mini breaks, even two minutes to sit in the sun, or lie of the floor/ lawn, throughout the day.

2. Good food, organic, range fed, wild fish, omega 3's for the brain
You are what you eat, ate. Pesticide and junk in, and the brain will get worse.

3.Good relationship : pleased, at ease, no resentments
 ( my work with the Byron Katie method can get all resentments cleared;
     being present and truthful in communication consolidates it)
thework.com

4. Novelty
 ( the Anat Baniel work takes care of that) AnatBanielMethod.com
And my mindfulness focus: find five ways to do everything,
everything,
even read this

5. Mindfulness
( Siegal uses meditation, I use all day mindfulness in the body,
or body
and breath
and light:
three layers and full time reality
 plus movement with and for awareness)

6. Exercise:
in fresh air; not rote; the combination of Feldenkrais and movement can make boring things like weight lifting, or semi cool things like yoga into brain food as well
 Feldenkrais.com

and taking a walk, dancing, making love, this are as good as yoga, and should/ could be part of all our lives


For an earlier, slightly different version of this, see my September 24

6 Step deep Protocol for the brain on bipolar and depression 

A great relationship

A great relationship has at least these four elements:

- Great and consistent communication

- Great and consistent sex

- Unconditional love

- A big job



Let's have some fun and go one by one:

Great and consistent communication means:
- Every day
- You can say anything
- You do say everything, no secrets
- You speak in the present
- You speak truth ("I am angry" is truth. "You make me angry" is a lie)
- You go to vulnerable, and admit: "I'm afraid to say this.."
- And then you say it
- You have a method, or a practice of long periods where one talks and the
other does not interrupt
- You are learning to have no words in your head, and no rehearsal of
responses as the other talks
- You listen in the PRESENT


Great and consistent sex means:
- Every day ( relax, it can be a 15 minute Slow Sex meditation)
See OneTaste.us, the demo video
- Not necessarily climax oriented
- Playful
- Variable
- If a two way practice, eyes open
- Communicating desire, sensation
- Reversible: not a runaway train, until it is
- Full of any and all communication
- Total commitment to sensation in the PRESENT

Unconditional love means:
- All resentments are gone
- 100% gone
- You can think of the "worst" the other ever did
and feel love in your heart
and feel a smile coming to your face
- You "look forward" to their doing whatever it is
that the "it" in you, the conditioned and it's all about me-me-me
self in you (ego) is most annoyed by
- You look forward to new discoveries of their imperfection,
because that's your imperfection

- If it's ten minutes old, it's history. Living life awake and in the PRESENT.
- Humor about "I'm imperfect, you're imperfect and that's perfect" 
- Gratitude around that


A big job can mean:
- Raising a sane, present, playful, happy, creative amazing child or children
- Supporting the best in each other
- Building a house, farm, community together
- Writing a book together, starting a company
- Sharing your deepest dreams and helping each other toward them
Such as
- Helping each other shift to a new job, fitness program, creative endeavor, etc
- Committing to mutual enlightenment
- Committing to "saving the Earth" without getting grumpy along the way
- Creating an organic, eco and truth community together
- Making and giving away millions to the places you want change to happen
- Ongoing every day every moment happiness for yourself and the other 
- Committing to humorously helping each other live in the PRESENT 

- Keeping up the daily sex, daily communication and daily resentment release
- Spreading your happiness and sanity to the world

late

the time of day 
when the sleep comes calling
 that's now

 and the secret
 well one of the secrets

 to stay awake
 even inside of
falling
asleep

 possible?
 yes.

let's try,
you and I tonight
 to meet in the dream
 land
where
we
know
 we
 are
 dreaming

 (good)