Sunday, October 29, 2017

The trouble with addictions: they work

The trouble with addictions 
They work

Here’s the hard thing: addictions work.

Many people are trapped in these states :
Feeling unloved
Feeling unworthy
Angry and guilty about their anger
Angry at themselves
Disappointed in themselves

Basically: unhappy.

All these pretty much sucked. And all can be “un-done” (not cured, they are actually states we “do” to ourselves. The way out is to “un-do” our doing. All unhappiness is an inside job.)

And then addictions come along, and dammed if they don’t seem to cover up and “as if” erase the above states and feelings.

They can be addictions that are pretty widely recognized as addiction: heroin, cocaine, speed.
They can be addictions that work pretty well to move people through the “normal” (and miserable) world: over-work, excessive exercise.

They can be addictions that are so widely accepted as to be relatively unseen: sugar, white carbs. Some would say grains. 
Alcohol has a gigantic organization devoted to coming free from addiction and is widely served at all social events.
Pot is legalized here and there and can cause people to relax and deal with harsh pain, and can enable people to drift through their lives.

And then sex: with a partner, as part of love and mindfulness and great connection, you can hardly have too much sex, if you can also do your work and eat between all the bliss. With unloved partners, or randomly, or out of loneliness, or with many partners, basically all the usual mindless forms of sex, doing a lot of this type is surely an addiction.

And they all work:
You’re lonely or afraid or confused and you get stoned or eat a ton of ice cream or get drunk or screw a lot or run ten miles and the “problem” seems to go away.

And so the solution, as I see it, isn’t to fight the addiction, though laying off is kind of useful.
The solution is to deal with our loneliness or fear or confusion or feeling inadequate and get basically happy.
Happy and present people are high on life.
I know, I know, most people who say that make you want to puke, and it is the actually state of happy children and happy animals and even happy adults.

How to get high on life?

Is not that what this book is about?
Love gets you high and connected and moves us into the profoundest meanings of why we are alive.
Lust as mindful sex allow our bliss to come from connection, and we get some exercise to boot.
Enlightenment is being present.
Is about being happy full time.
Is about “saving the Earth”/ being of service to a bigger cause.

So enjoy the book.

Here’s a minor story about myself and an addiction: I was smoking pot a lot, like several times a day, in my early twenties.
This was before “just say no” and all the moral anti-drug things.
But I did realize that I seemed to be in a rut.
So, as a curiosity goal, I decided to see what happened if I quit for two weeks.
What happened was I realized, at first almost with desperation, that every time I got bored, I wanted pot. (I didn’t mention the Internet as an addiction: this can be the modern drug of choice to avoid “boredom,” which I’m discovering is a code word for fear of being present). Boredom and I craved pot.
I didn’t smoke, but hung out with the boredom.
And got more and more annoyed.
I did not want a crutch to deal with my boredom. I figured that that was my job.
So I quit, but for a few returns. I don’t think pot is evil.
I do think it’s a crutch. For me.
And people these days could just as easily give up Facebook for two weeks and see what happens.

Anyway: happy life with or without addictions.
The wise place to look to me seems to be the hole that addictions are filling.
And then “un-do” however you are “doing” that hole to yourself.



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