Monday, February 24, 2014

Freedom: Loving the X after the Divorce... Being at ease, no matter what

this is the last one
on divorce for awhile

it's like this:

two people have a marriage
hopefully it's good at least
part of the time

then, it sucks,
or one gets bored

but here's the deal:
the one who wants to leave
doesn't like how they feel around the other person

the other person isn't the problem
it's that the other person gives them an
to feel bad
feel really badly inside

so they leave,
or ask to leave
or cause a ruckus and get asked/ demanded to leave

the two are apart

often with their bad feelings
and almost always
sure that it
was the other person's fault

the work is big
and if there are children it's essential:

take responsibility
each one,
as if it's 100% their doing
that the marriage or relationship ended

and if the other person
doesn't do it

so what

one person can get free
and that's a big deal

and how do you know you are free?

you know you could hang out with the X
and enjoy their company

enjoy it if they are in good form
enjoy it if they are mean and accusing

just keep listening
and saying:
yep, that the way you see it,
you see it that ......
and you let them know you heard

and you aren't defensive

sometimes the other person / the complaining X
is right
sometimes they are full of baloney

when you can smile and
just let it roll

then you are free

but that's what God is:
freedom to love
anything and anyone

and who doesn't want to be free?

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