Wednesday, January 24, 2018

What if the other person pushed your buttons and you woke up?

Dancing at the wedding.

Sometimes we act as if the other person pushing our buttons is the worst thing in the world.

How dare they?

We want to be loved and appreciated full time?

We are so wonderful, shouldn't they treat us wonderfully?


Sometimes they are in a bad mood, or we are a jerk and they react back in jerky ways. Or they have bad habits and know they can push our buttons?

Or, they have bad parents who taught them how to push buttons?


Doesn't matter.

People are jerks.

And,,,,, news flash.... so are we.

So, what's the secret?

There are many, and the first is to realize that our buttons are OUR BUTTONS.

Then, have a sense of humor about their crime. Almost always, if they are being selfish, we have plenty of instances. If they are failing to appreciate, this is something we are slipping up on, too.

And then, there is the wonderful two chair version of questions three and four in the  the Work of Byron Katie.

Sit in one chair, with a pencil and paper. Write down the "should" belief you have about your mean/ awful/ inconsiderate partner. Then write a list of how you feel and act when you believe that.

Now, switch to another chair. Look at the should belief and don't believe it.
If only for a few seconds.
What happens to you?

Or, look at the belief and then stop looking. And stop thinking. Simple and profoundly be present.
Without the thoughts, who and how are you?

There is more.
The trick though is this: do we want to blame and feel "right" and feel bad.

Or, do we want to laugh at ourselves and realize that it is our belief in the story, not the story, that is "pushing our buttons."

No new news, we push our own buttons.

Except that it's always new news when we forget and then realize it.

Welcome to the world of imperfection.

Welcome to the world of waking up..


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