Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Love and Lust: What not have both?

You can have love without lust. Sex can be ho hum. Or almost dutiful. Or a hit and miss thing that has to be fueled by going to the movie, or a glass of wine.

Even then, it is usually almost dreamlike, a feeling a returning to an amazing, and forgotten world.

"Why don't we do this more often" the passionate couple think.
And then forget about it for another week.

And there are far worse, couples who are reluctant to have sex. The partner has gotten fat, or mean, or  has slipped into tragic habits (drinking, watching TV, overeating). Which aren't really tragic, but they certainly do make a person boring, don't they?

This is why the word Enlightenment is part of the bigger way of approaching all this. Someone watching TV or drinking is more or less "killing time" with their life.

Which happens when you or I or anyone falls into the automatic life of sleep and habit that the world gears and trains us for.

What does that have to do with love without lust?
An awake person realizes that the body wants to touch. A person with love, realizes their body wants to get deliciously close to their partner.
An awake person remembers the sweetness of sex and returns often, for delight, renewal and connection.

Simple version: love is better, much better with sex as an almost daily nourishment.

And going the other way: sex every day without love could keep people kind of young and perky, and from what I've seen, usually leads to a restless prowl into the messy worlds of polygamy. Not that this is a morally "bad" way to live.

And, this is messy.

I've never seen the theoretically wonderful world of sharing and non-jealousy actually happen.

And, if you want to be awake in the world, and stay healthy, and be of benefit to the "Saving the World" necessity, you don't really have time for all the anguished back and forth emotional "processing" (attacking and complaining and half-assed psychology, usually) that all Open Love situations seem to require.

And, what if, just what if, you had sex daily and didn't really love the person?

Seems to me, you'd grow to love the person.

And maybe not. If you were afraid to talk to them, or even more important, afraid to listen to them, love could stagnate.

So, you'd be getting your dessert and no dinner.

Sounds like starvation would come soon.

What do you think?

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