Chang from the paradigm of playing for each others captivity to playing for each others freedom by changing the perspective from Fixed to Dynamic Relating.
FIXED:
1, Concept driven, predictable and secure, two halves of a whole
2. Fixed roles where the purpose is to feel loved.
3. Trust means others should live up to your expectations, always trying to be "good"
4. Angry at others ( or , big baby, "hurt") when they aren't "doing it our way, " the way we "trusted" (= imagined) they "should" do it
5 Angry/ hurt when we aren't in control.
6. Relationship is disposable, better at the beginning
7. Both agree to conform to fixed concepts
8. Control / love with conditions
DYNAMIC:
1. Desire-driven, following the next right step, two wholes coming together, secure in themselves
2. Spherical relating that begins at and returns to Friend where the purpose is to love.
3. Trust others to be who they are, willing to be messy
4. Curious about others when their way is different than our way. Amused at our old "hurt" programming and see it as a childhood left behind.
5. Excited and the upside of freefall when we aren't in control ( call it orgasm, what the hell)
6. Relationship is eternal, stay connected no matter what the form, always best in the now
7. Both agree to be truthful, willing to negotiate, learn, and wake up
8. (Unconditional) Love
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