Saturday, April 25, 2015

Be Lazy

Three Secrets to Cheating Unhappiness, Reversing Aging, Better Sex, and More Money
One: Be Lazy

Here’s the first secret: be lazy.
I know, I know, everyone wants you nose to the grindstone, and they have their nose there to distract from their unhappiness, and to hell with that. Less is more.
And I’ll start right off practicing what I preach, because you might think, Oh My God, 3 secrets times four categories: that’s 12 secrets. Who wants that much?
Not I.
Not you.
It’s three secrets, and they are, being lazy, and being present in your body, and “doing it wrong” or doing it non-habitually.
And further in keeping with being lazy. I’ll just write one a day. ( I do a chapter a day. One is enough. One is a lot. This whole book has been written, to this point by April 25, 2015. It started March 21, 2015. Less is more.)

There was a time awhile back when my son and I, on the phone, got in a tiff about something.
Who knows what?
The usual human bullshit which boils down to “I’m right and you’re wrong,”  “No, No, you have it backwards: I’m right and you’re wrong.”
And on and on.
So we got off the phone in mutually bad moods.
I got lazy about winning the argument. I called back, and said I didn’t care who was right. That our connection was what mattered, and to hell with whatever we were arguing about.

And so laziness in winning arguments with others, especially your mate or your kids, can make a big dent in cheating unhappiness.
Another place laziness is actually reality, when you think you have “too much to do.”
You probably do.
And a lot of unhappiness comes from trying to think about doing it all at once, or within a time frame.
Sometimes it’s good to write down the time frame so you don’t have to think about it.
But the lazy and sane thing to do, no matter what: do one small thing at a time, and figure out how to enjoy it.

Lazy means enjoying the roses along the way. Happiness means enjoying the roses along the way.

And reversing aging and laziness: Take a nap every two hours. Even two minutes in your chair, ten minutes on the floor, eight minutes on the lawn, twenty minutes on your bed.
Combine it with visualizing sweet clouds, or deepening your breath (secret 2: get into your body in the present). Combine it with sensing any part of yourself that needs relaxing.
You’ll live longer.
You’ll be nicer at the end of the day.

Lazy and sex.
Let’s make this short.
Don’t rush to the climax.
Enjoy the pleasure exactly as it is.
Look at your partner.
Talk to your partner.
Keep communication and humor going.
Be happy.

Lazy and money.
Oh, my.
Here we are at the grindstone again, and , like jogging and bikhram yoga, ( and drinking) overwork is a well known way to stuff your unhappiness by numbing out to it.
And, you aren’t reading a book on Love, Lust and Enlightenment if you want to stuff your unhappiness on the way to making as wonderful an amount of money as you wish to make.

So, rather than go into it in any depth at all, I’ll be true again to my laziness and say what you already know: there is an easier and more enjoyable path to whatever you need or want to do it your work.
Find it.

Ah, ha.

Talk today:
2 minute turns:

Look at your partner.
Have a complaint in your head.
Feel how awful that feels in your body.

Look at their face and eyes and breathing.
Get too lazy to hold on to that thought.

Then talk only what you sense and notice in the present, or your appreciations of them.

At two minutes, pause. Breathe a bunch of times together and do this the other way around.

Go back and forth at least three times each way.

Same theme:

2 foot massages of 2 minutes:

One, trying to “do it right.”
Two, being lazy, and having fun for you as well as them.

Go both ways.

Compare the difference in giving and getting.

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