The Turn Around

From the Forthcoming Book:
Love, Lust and Enlightenment: Loving Your Mate more Deeply and becoming "Almost Enlightened" to boot

The Turn Around

“You should appreciate me more?”

Is that true? Is that absolutely true? How do I feel when I believe that story? Who or what would I be without that thought or believing that story?

And the TURN AROUND.

“You should appreciate me more.”

How about….” I should appreciate you more.”

And, how about… “I should appreciate myself more.”

“You should listen to me more.”

“I should listen to you more.”

“I should listen to myself more.”

“You shouldn’t criticize me.”

“I shouldn’t criticize you. (Even to the extent of not criticizing you for criticizing me)

“I shouldn’t criticize me.”

And on and on and on.

Today is Easter. The story is of death and rebirth.

And that’s the game today. To die to the old way, which is: The Other Person MUST change.

The resurrection: I am the one who can change.

I can take my own medicine.

If I want others to treat me better, I have to treat myself and others better.

So, this is the newness of resurrection.

We can do it brand new, any day, every day, any moment.

And that’s the important of death and rebirth.

It’s not the big deal, which can happen from all the little moments.

It’s the moment by moment letting the story die, and being reborn with this delightful curiosity: what can I do with this energy of discontent.

And so, play that way today:

Play with the four questions and  the turn around.

Do this with one “issue,” and go through all the questions and the turn around.

Get so “into” the turn around and be happy to discover what it is in yourself, that you can take back as something that is in you that you can admit and that can serve as admission for a whole new world.

Both people write down a “you should..” each other.

Read it to each other. Take it in and say thank you.

Partner A now be the “I am going to work on my button” person.

Partner A reads their belief…. “You should blah blah.”

Partner B asks:

One: Is that true that “I should blah blah”

Partner A answers.

Pause for three breaths.

Partner B asks:

Two: Is that absolutely true that, “ I should blah blah?”

Partner A answers.

Pause for three breaths.

Partner B asks,

Three: Please sit in another chair and answer: “How do you react, feel and live when you believe that, “ I should blah blah?”

Partner A answers.

Pause for three breaths.

Partner B asks:

Four: Please come back to the “real you” chair:  “Who or what would you be if you didn’t have that thought that, “ I should blah blah?”

Partner A answers.

Pause for three breaths.

Partner B ask A to go back and forth between the chair that believes it and the one that doesn’t and share how they feel in each.

Pause between each chair and before the turn around.

Partner B ask for two turn arounds.

The You should do this for me, to the I should do this for you form.

And, the You should do this for me, to the I should do this for myself form.

Hold hands for ten breaths.

Do the 4 questions and the turn around the other way.

Hold hands for ten breaths.

Touch:

Kiss each other’s arm for 6 minutes.

2 minutes: kissing as fun.

2 minutes: kissing as they request.

2 minutes: kissing and each sharing the now/ now on what is happening.

Share for one or two minutes on how that was different for each of you.

Then, do it the other way around.

Enjoy.